Moving to Greater Boston :: North Andover

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April 13, 2018

Maybe you’ve been in Boston for years, but you’re now having kids and looking to relocate. Maybe you’re planning a move to the Boston area from another city in the U.S. or abroad, and you’re trying to make sense of your options. Whatever the case, Boston Moms is here to help with a handy guide to some popular towns in the area! We’ll tell you about the vibe, income levels, schools, and fun insider info to help you figure out the best place for you.

(Also check out our guides to East Arlington, Milton, North Attleboro, Salem, Somerville, and the South End!)

How we got here

After growing up in Medford and Somerville, we longed for privacy and wanted to look into our backyard and see wildlife. We fled for the Merrimack Valley, purchasing our North Andover home in 2013. We had spent a lot of time running in North Andover with friends from the Borderline Running Club and the Merrimack Valley Striders and felt North Andover fit who we are. And the area has a lot of offer!

Vibe :: Suburbia

In size, North Andover spans 27 square miles — but it has a small-town feel. There are historic areas, including the Machine Shop Village and the Old Burial Ground on Academy Road, but also brand new homes. A popular spot in North Andover is the town common; the town’s original meeting place, The North Parish Church, overlooks the old center. The common attracts residents to roam the perimeter of the large area of green year round and hosts events such as the Sheep Shearing Festival and weekly summer concerts for kids and adults. It is a very family-centric town and was recently voted the 33rd safest town in the country.

Live :: Single-family, condo, multi-family — it’s all here

You can find whatever type of home you’re looking for in North Andover. According to Trulia, 84% of North Andover residents are homeowners. There is a variety of neighborhoods, including more densely populated areas with multi-family homes, various developments and condominiums, and streets like ours where the houses are spaced farther apart. The town is predominantly single-family homes, and the median sale price for a home is $477,000.

Learn

North Andover has a great school system. There is an early education center, five elementary schools, a middle school, and a high school. Our high school has a 96% graduation rate. There is also a youth center. Although my girls are not of school age yet, I have received feedback from other North Andover moms of how amazing the schools are, inclusive of teachers and staff. North Andover is also home to Merrimack College.

Play

There is a lot to do in North Andover. Steven’s Pond attracts many residents in the summer. Weir Hill, Harold Parker State Forest, and Ward Reservation are all beautiful places to go hiking. Steven Coolidge Place, the summer home of one of the descendants of the founding families of North Andover, the Stevens family, has year-round events. Smolak Farms is another cherished establishment in North Andover for its variety of fruit picking (apples, blueberries, strawberries, and more), petting zoo, and an endless list of seasonal and holiday activities. Smaller in scale but great for that exact reason is Boston Hill Farm — it has similar features to Smolak, but it’s a little quieter.

Go

North Andover is the suburbs, and you need a car. One of my favorite things about this town is how accessible it is to multiple major highways, including 495, 93, and 95. Given that fact, we can be in Boston, New Hampshire, or Maine within 30 minutes or less (excluding high commuting times). Most people commute by car to Boston, but there is also commuter rail access in neighboring Andover.

I hope you’ve found this guide helpful!

Stay tuned for more town guides to clue you in about Greater Boston’s many terrific family-oriented places to live.

Also, see our previous guides to East Arlington, Milton, North Attleboro, Salem, Somerville, and the South End.

Don’t Bring Your Baby to Disney? Think Again

By

Morgan Sheena

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April 12, 2018

We are so grateful that we were able to attend the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration and are thankful to Disney and all of the sponsors for this experience.

My son Jesse isn’t 2 yet, but he’s made the trip to Disney twice, most recently for the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. If the chance came up, I’d bring him again in a heartbeat. Some people think I’m nuts for bringing my little guy to Disney when it’s not just around the corner and have suggested I should leave him home with family so we can enjoy the time with our older kids. No thanks. Disney magic is for everyone, even those who won’t remember it. Why, you ask?

He’s free

Under the age of 3, kiddos are free. They get free admission to the parks, they don’t need FastPass+ to get on any rides, they stay in your hotel room free of charge, and they do not need a meal plan. My little guy has gotten to enjoy all the perks of the parks, eaten more than his fair share from the buffets, met all the characters his siblings met, and got to take it all in.

On the cruise portion of our trip, Jesse was able to enjoy all the amenities his older siblings enjoyed, plus he had the added option of the “it’s a small world” nursery (for an additional fee). He swam, he met characters, he saw shows, he ate, and he had a blast.

The characters

We used our FastPass+ to meet some characters, and my little guy was able to see them all. At the parks and on the Disney Cruise Line, the opportunities to meet characters were plentiful. Jesses loved to run up and hug them, pet the softer ones, wave, blow kisses, and generally treat them like his friends. I know he didn’t recognize them, but seeing his face light up when he saw The Mouse couldn’t be beat. I’ll admit that we were very spoiled on this trip with so many character meet and greets, but the joy on his face never got old.

Rides and entertainment

Jesse is a bit of an adrenaline junkie. He likes to play rough, he’s a climber, and he likes going fast. There were endless options for little ones to enjoy rides and attractions. It was so easy for him to sit on our laps to enjoy rides — they were stimulating to his little eyes and brought big smiles to his face. Plus, we were able to take advantage of Rider Switch, so both my husband and I got a chance to ride, and Jesse and our other little ones rode twice!

In addition to rides, there were shows and parades throughout the parks all day long! From live action to seeing animals on safari, there was so much for them to see and do! Jesse took it all in, clapped for everything, and genuinely seemed to enjoy it all.

Food

This kid likes to eat. And we are a family that enjoys trying new foods and restaurants. The opportunities to eat and try new things at Disney were plentiful. My children always try new cultural foods at Disney, and Jesse was no exception to this! Most recently, he took a liking to Moroccan food!

Mickey bar ice cream on Disney Dream

Naps on the go

It can be a bit tough to deal with a schedule when you are trying to see and do everything at the parks. We tried to roll with it as much as possible. Some days we took some down time and went back to the room to nap, but most days naps were on the go. Children are so adaptable, and there are definitely times when it’s worth bending the rules a bit. Bedtime was typically later on our vacation, naps were ad hoc, and the exhaustion at night was real. But seeing the happiness was the biggest payoff!

Think bringing a baby to Disney is silly? I beg to differ!

More Than Running at the Boston Marathon

By

ginanewton

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April 11, 2018

Leader female Boston Marathon

The post is written with warm thoughts and respect to those we lost and those whose lives were changed forever on April 15, 2013.

More than a marathon

I am a runner, passionate about my sport, and my kids know that. But even if you have no interest in running or understanding why someone would pay to run 26.2 miles, taking your kids for a family day at the Boston Marathon on April 16 is worth your time.

Children Spectating Boston Marathon

Filled with sport history

The Boston Marathon is the oldest annual marathon in the world. It carries a wealth of sports history as it approaches its 122nd running. As a mother of two daughters, most prominent in my mind are when Bobbi Gibb became the first woman to run (unregistered) in 1966, followed by Katherine Switzer (registered) the following year.

Life-long goal, achieved

Held on Patriots Day, the marathon draws athletes from around the world. Some of these athletes have won other marathons, but a win at Boston is a life-long dream for many. Our own local running hero, Shalane Flanagan, will try to take home a win in Boston as she did in November in NYC. Why am I telling you this? Because I don’t think there isn’t a kid who couldn’t benefit from seeing men and woman testing their physical and mental limits while pursuing a life-long dream on the streets of our fine cities and towns along the course.

Passion and commitment

The Boston Marathon draws over 30,000 athletes each year. Many athletes have gone through years of preparation. A non-professional runner typically spends 16 weeks training before they get to the starting line to run 26.2 miles. It’s inspiring to watch so many people with such passion and commitment. That drive carries them through the training and the length of the race that day. Sure, my kids might not appreciate all the preparation that goes into this, but I love sharing the electricity that exists on the course along with the camaraderie and good sportsmanship you witness from the race participants.

Running for a cause

A large number of athletes who participate in the Boston Marathon do so through charity organizations. Last year participants raised an astounding $34.2 million dollars through the 200 charities involved with the marathon. There are individuals who embark on training for Boston never having run a mile — all to support the charity they’re passionate about. They are a great example to my children: Testing their physical limits to benefit hundreds of worthy charities.

Spend the day

Grab your lunch, lawn chairs, cowbells, and your loudest cheers, and pick a spot along the 26.2-mile course (our favorite spot is the Newton Hills). And enjoy the 122nd running of the Boston Marathon!

Busy Moms’ Grocery Apps for Meal-Planning Success

By

Emily Fahle

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April 10, 2018

In preparing our tax return, my husband and I gave our finances a very thorough audit. We had some big expenses at the end of 2017 — we purchased our forever home and had our third daughter within the same month. We also have some big ticket items we’re interested in purchasing in the near future.

As we looked through our monthly expenses, I was extremely surprised that our family of four goes through about $1,000 a month on groceries. Perhaps for some of you, that number is reasonable (or even low!), but for our family right now it seems exorbitantly high.

My fellow BMB contributor Jacquelyn recently shared her strategies for meal planning. Unfortunately, bulk purchasing won’t work for me right now. So I decided to investigate meal planning and grocery apps. I found a few really great apps for my purposes, and I anticipate I will find some real savings with long-term use! Please share your experience with your favorite apps!

Instacart

The gist: Instacart partners with local stores to deliver groceries to your doorstep. If you upgrade to their “Instacart Express” for a $149 yearly fee, you can order as often as you want ($35 minimum for free delivery). My thought was that having a strict list and online ordering would tamp down impulse purchasing.
Pros: Delivery within two hours! Scratching off a weekly errand was nice. Having dinner ingredients delivered within a couple of hours was nice too. There were also more stores to choose from than just the local store known for its delivery service. I could have items from CVS or Petco delivered too!
Cons: The participating stores aren’t my usual destinations, so I had a harder time deciding what was a good price for items. Also, I couldn’t rely on a few of my “go-to” store-brand items.

Yummly

The gist: Yummly celebrates itself as the app that knows how you eat. You build your own cookbook, and Yummly will suggest other recipes based on your likes. Sort of like a Pinterest for meals. Once you have at least ten recipes saved, you can create a shopping list on your smartphone with ingredients in the recipe you want to make.
Pros: Yummly has over two million recipes to search and save. Once there are recipes in your recipe box, the ingredients can be pulled up in the smartphone app and added to a shopping list. Once I got the hang of the app, I found it pretty easy to choose recipes and create a shopping list from it. This will definitely help me meal plan! And bonus — the app connects to Instacart!
Cons: I had to refer to the FAQ page to learn how to save recipes.

Grocery IQ

The gist: Grocery IQ is a true grocery planning app with barcode-scanning capabilities.
Pros: Lists are easy to create and organize. I was also able to “clip” coupons directly in the app, saving me even more money!
Cons: There isn’t a meal-planning component to the app, and I really wanted that feature.

Paprika

The gist: This all-you-can-eat app allows you to organize recipes, meal plan, and create shopping lists. You are also able to save recipes anywhere from the internet. One nifty feature is that you can sync your lists, recipes, and meal plans across all of your devices. Another is that it organizes ingredients automatically for you by aisles.
Pros: Making my grocery list was very intuitive and easy to do. It was also very easy to browse and save new recipes!
Cons: When I was browsing recipes, the app had trouble loading the content. Also, the app has a one-time cost of $4.99.

The Verdict:

The Paprika app definitely had everything I was looking to accomplish. I could search for meals, add ingredients to my grocery list, and schedule the selected meal for a specific date. While the app wasn’t free, its comprehensive features and simplicity to use will definitely save me money in the long run. I’ll check back in a few months to keep you posted on how much money I’m averaging in savings!

One Family’s KonMari Marathon Story

By

Timika Hopkins

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April 9, 2018

It was February vacation when I let the KonMari tidying process change my life forever.

I first heard quiet mentions about the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up when my best friend reported that she’d finished reading it. I didn’t pay it much mind but had a fleeting thought that I too should do some “purging” soon.

A month or so later, a second friend reported that she was in the process of becoming an official KonMari consultant. I probed for details. A few conversations later, I’d roped my friend Kristyn into flying to Boston to lead me through the process of tidying my home.

Konmari - Boston Moms Blog

What is KonMari?

KonMari is a lifestyle choice where you sift through every item in your home and then decide what you will keep or let go based on a simple measurement of joy. If the item brings you joy, you should find a place for it. If the item does not incite feelings of joy, you should remove it from your environment. The process relies more on your values than on the restrictive rules of minimalism. Also, the process challenges you to stop and assess the piles of stuff in your home. One by one, you must decide if the item before you brings you true joy. Does it spark a joyful feeling when you touch it? Does it bring you happiness just by seeing it? Or does it fit your most joyful picture of what your happiest life could be?

Why it worked for me

Traditional home organizing involves purging 10% of your stuff and then storing the remainder in containers and bins. KonMari tidying reaches way deeper than this. I let go of massive amounts of items — way more than ever before. I did not need to waste money on bins in the process. In fact, because I touched every item in my home, I actually found money tucked in various pockets and bags. In the end, the remaining items practically organized themselves.

Should you try it?

We made our KonMari marathon a family affair. It was nice to see the kids let go of some of their unused items without sadness. Everyone should take a look at this method. If you are feeling overwhelmed by years of clutter, read the book or call a consultant to jump-start your progress toward clearing out your space. It helped our family tremendously, and I am sure it could help yours!

3 Things to Never Say to an Autism Mom (and What You Should Say Instead)

By

Leah Lynch

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April 6, 2018

April is Autism Awareness Month. What can you do to support the autism community today?

You are at a playground and strike up a conversation with a mom pushing her baby on the swing next to your little one. It probably goes something like this. “How old is your son? What neighborhood do you live in? Thank God it’s finally spring!” Then you hear screaming and see another child struggling with some playground equipment — and the mom next to you goes running. She comes back and says, “Sorry, my other son has special needs. (Awkward pause.) He’s autistic.”

This situation may not have happened to you yet, but it probably will at some point. As a mother of a child with autism, I experience this situation at almost every playground visit. I have only been on one side of the conversation, and I can tell you there are a few responses I’ve received after announcing my son has autism that really are the worst.

Please don’t say the following:

“You’d never know by looking at him.”

I’m thinking the following statement in my head when you say that. “Yup, and my grandmother was completely deaf and you’d never know by looking at her either.”

What you could say instead is: “When was he diagnosed?”

Don’t say this either:

“I have (insert obscure relative or friend of a friend) who is autistic.”

Unless said autistic person is someone you are close with and see on a regular basis — your child, sibling, cousin, nephew, niece, or closest friend’s child. According to the CDC, one out of 68 children is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. So yes, odds are you have encountered someone at some point who knows someone with autism. When someone tells you they have cancer, would you typically tell them about everyone you’ve ever know with cancer? No, you would not.

What you could say instead: “That must be difficult. Do you have family or friends close by?”

And never ever say this:

“He looks like he is doing great!”

I know you mean well, and you are trying to make me feel better. However, you don’t realize that it has taken hundreds of hours and years of therapy at home and school to get him to where he is. You don’t know that he has motor planning processing delays and cannot always navigate playground equipment. You don’t know that we are currently struggling with him hitting us — his parents — and his teacher. Don’t get me wrong — my son is incredible. We love him for who he is, and most days are great. However, I just abruptly left a conversation with you to deal with him, so what about that seems great to you?

Here is what you could say instead, and it is so simple.

“How is he doing?”

I love this question because it starts a real conversation. It gives me an opportunity to share the awesome things my son has going on. It also allows me to ask you the same question about your child.

Bottom line. Don’t feel awkward or weird. I am a mom, and we are in this together. I want to hear your story, and I want to share my story, too.

Miss Z Photography Maternity and Newborn Sessions :: Take the Plunge!

By

Nancy LeBosquain

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April 5, 2018

We are excited to work with Miss Z Photography for this post.

Glamour is the last thing on your mind when you’re 35 weeks pregnant. But when I was presented with the chance to have maternity and newborn photos taken, I jumped at the chance. I hadn’t done either with my first two kids, writing it off as either too expensive or not my style.

A little bit hesitant and perhaps a bit doubtful, I set off for Miss Z Photography‘s studio in New Bedford. Abrah is a mom of two herself, and she understands all the demands of pregnancy and kids intimately. From the moment I met her she was warm and open. The basis of her photography business is customization and safety. Whatever type of maternity or newborn photos you want, she will make it happen. Her studio is adorned with countless props, whether you want your maternity shots to look “Beyonce Goddess-like” or perhaps just simple and elegant, meant to capture your glorious pregnant body at a moment in time (usually taken between weeks 28-35). Bring nothing but yourself and your family, and she will supply the rest — even the complimentary hair and makeup.

When my family burst through the doors of her studio, we were greeted as if we were celebrities. I was ushered into the hair and makeup area, and the kids were given toys to play with while mommy got her hair did. I was able to select an array of gowns, and before I knew it, the show was on. At 35 weeks pregnant, I can safely say that it was the most glamorous I had felt in a long time. I posed, the kids posed, my husband and I posed together, it was a vast array of permutations and combinations.

Once we welcomed our little boy into the world, we once again had the chance to take him to visit Miss Z so she could capture his newborn perfection. Those first weeks are a haze and, to be honest, it was a real effort to get our family to the studio. But I’m so glad we did (photos are usually taken at 10-20 days old). The photos are stunning and something I could never have captured myself.

Our little sailor. Celebrating his Boston roots. And yes, that’s real sand.

For anyone who’s wondered if maternity and newborn photos are really worth it… On average, most people will invest between $500 to $800 for maternity and newborn photos. Not an insignificant amount of money, but so worth it to preserve the memory of your sweet newborn. I’m not sure how many times I’ve said it, agreed with it, and had it said to me, but the time when your kids are small passes so quickly. By my third child I now deeply appreciate this fact, so all I can say is… GET NEWBORN PHOTOS TAKEN! You will not regret it, and Miss Z Photography takes fine art photography to a whole new level.

So many fun options — Miss Z Photography supplies all the props. She’ll make your dreams a reality.

If you’re interested in finding out more, the first step is to book a free consultation with Abrah — you’d meet her at her studio, where you can discuss all the options of what you’d like to see. If you decide to move forward, you’ll then book a date for either a maternity session, newborn session, or both. Once the photo shoot(s) are complete, you get to select your memories. She’ll provide you with a beautiful slideshow and will give you ample time to select the photos, be it one or two special shots or 20. Abrah’s work is one of a kind, and she takes great pride in getting the shot just right.

To find out more about Miss Z Photography, check out her Facebook page or her website. To view Miss Z Photography’s portfolio online and get a feel for her range of offerings, click here.

Plus, here is a sampling of other creative shots Miss Z shoots on a regular basis.

Website

Facebook

Toddler Twin Survival Tips

By

Megan Chen

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April 5, 2018

Photo courtesy Donnie Ray Jones via Flickr.

When I was pregnant with my twins, I found lots of information about handy tools that helped get through the first year of infancy. Now, as my twins are bolting into toddlerhood (literally), I find that there are different survival tools to get through the days. Obviously, we still need things like a double stroller and two of pretty much everything from car seats to toys, but what gets us through these trying days are things that cannot be purchased on Amazon.

Here are a few survival tools for twin toddlerhood.

A sense of humor

There are days that are so chaotic, really all I can do is laugh. Like the day I decided to try fingerpainting with my toddlers, and in the time it took to wipe off my oldest’s hands, the twins were covered head to toe in paint and dancing on the table. One toddler can do plenty of damage when you dare to turn away, but when there are two, it’s laughable what they are capable of accomplishing. Sometimes you just have to take a step back from the chaos and laugh to prevent yourself from having a meltdown.

A schedule

Having a good schedule that keeps everyone well-rested and fed when they need it is key no matter how many kids you have. However, with twins, deviating from the schedule means that you now have two hungry, cranky toddlers to contend with. The bonus? They have someone to fight with and take it out on when they are feeling crabby. I find I am much more rigid with sticking to the schedule with my twins than I was when I had one toddler.

Flexibility

As much as sticking to the schedule makes life so much easier, there are days when it is just not possible. Someone may get sick or skip a nap and things just don’t go as planned. Or maybe it’s a holiday or you’re on vacation or you just want to do something fun for the day that takes them off of their routine. It’s so important to be able to go with the flow, even though it can be hard. Sometimes, giving my kids a really great experience, though it is often a lot of work for us parents, is worth taking us out of our comfort zone. Being flexible (and having that above-mentioned sense of humor) will help make things more fun for everyone.

Other twin moms

I was fortunate to find MetroWest Parents of Multiples when I was pregnant with my twins. Through the club, I have made some wonderful twin mom friends. These are people who “get it” and keep each other sane by trading twin war stories and knowing that we are not alone in this crazy journey of raising twins. We can also exchange tips, tricks, and even clothes and enjoy many outings throughout the year both with and without our kids. Whether it’s joining a local club, finding a Facebook group, or meeting people out and about, I have found talking with other twin moms very comforting during these often-stressful early years.

Though most of these tips also apply to parents with just one toddler, I find that they take on a new importance when you have more than one at the same time!

Your Kids Can Support Scientific Research in Massachusetts :: Here’s How!

By

Rachel Wilson

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April 4, 2018

Like most parents, I dream about my kids’ futures. Will they like sports? Art? Music? Who will they love? What kind of career will they have? I want them to follow their own stars and find their own passions. But part of me hopes those passions will include science, which is a love of mine that didn’t turn into a career.

But wait! Our kids can support scientific research RIGHT NOW! Massachusetts has something like 114 colleges, including at least nine research universities. Because many of them have labs that study children’s development, they are always looking for children to participate in research. They include:

Boston University Child Language Lab

At BU, researchers study language and cognitive development in children from infancy to school age. Both my children have visited the Child Language Lab and have had a great time! Register with them here.

Harvard Lab for Developmental Studies

At Harvard, researchers investigate early learning in children and how that changes over time. Practical application of their research includes helping children to learn better and creating better interventions for developmental disorders. We visited recently with my older daughter. She chose silly putty as her participation “prize” and hasn’t stopped playing with it since! And bonus: Harvard’s Labs offer a $5 travel reimbursement each time you visit. Sign up here.

Cooperation Lab at Boston College

One of the missions of this BC lab is to better understand how cooperative behavior develops in children, how it evolves, and how it is sustained in humans. Contact them here.

Boston College Infant and Child Cognition Lab

Also housed at BC, this lab focuses on how infants, children, and adults keep track of numbers and quantities, and how early abilities relate to mathematical achievements. They’re currently looking for participants beginning at age 4 months through age 15. Participate here.

MIT KidsBrains

This MIT lab studies how brains grow and develop from infancy to late childhood. They also investigate how brain activity relates to the way kids think about the world. Check out this TEDx talk by one of the MIT lab researchers. Then sign up here to participate.

UMass Amherst Child Study Center

Six different labs make up the Child Study Center, so they have a lot of things going on! Research topics include problem-solving in infants, the emergence of language and reasoning in toddlers, and attention and television viewing in preschoolers. To find out more, click here.

UMass Boston Baby Lab

At the Baby Lab, researchers examine how babies learn, which includes language development, short-term memory, and visual/auditory development. Sign up online here.

Research labs usually provide free parking and a small “prize” to your child for his or her participation. Some also offer a stipend or travel reimbursement, depending on the study. Lastly, appointments are often available during the day and on weekends, so both stay-at-home and working parents can bring their children into the labs. When I was home with my daughter, I found this to be a fun way to get out of the house, interact with new people, and do something different from our normal routine. Give it a try! See for yourself!

The Fat Mom’s Swan Song :: Thoughts Before My Weight-Loss Surgery

By

Caitlin Hynes

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April 3, 2018

For as long as I can remember, I have been “the fat one.”

The fat friend, the fat sister, the fat daughter, the fat ____ (insert role/title here). Three or four times in my life, I have managed to lose an amount of weight equal to that of a kindergartner, but still only just enough to be a slightly less fat version of me. A few months into any healthy eating attempt, I would dive off the diet wagon and land head first into several large Dairy Queen Blizzards. For good measure, I’d burn that darn wagon to the ground with a lighter fluid made from pizza, burgers, and french fries. What can I say? When I go, I go BIG.

I would always give myself some sort of deadline as to when I would try to start losing weight again. I promised myself that when I moved into size 18 jeans or when I had to fit into a wedding dress or before I got pregnant that I would finally shed ALL the pounds I needed to, not just the same few I had lost and gained back so many times before. Every deadline came and went, and I failed to meet all of them.

Rationally, I know beauty is not equated with size.

There are some gorgeous plus-size women. Ashley Graham, the first plus-size woman in Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition, is stunning. There are lots of big girls out there who truly believe they are beautiful and that they don’t need to lose weight to love themselves. Trust me, I would LOVE to have even half the confidence these women have. But I’ve never felt comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never been able to be the big girl who could shout, “I love ALL of me, and I don’t care if you do.” It’s hard to accept your large size when there are so many problems that come with it.

I have been on blood pressure medication since I was 19. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and Type 2 diabetes last year. I developed gestational diabetes at 20 weeks during my pregnancy, leading to twice-weekly doctor appointments from 32 weeks on, a failed induction at 39 weeks, and an urgent C-section to make sure my son didn’t fall further into distress as labor wore on. I have a basket on my nightstand full of meds and a beautiful CPAP machine coming my way. I’m really looking forward to my son asking why I sound like Darth Vader.

Being the fat mom is holding me back.

My son gets more energetic as he gets older. I have only gotten heavier, more unhealthy, and more tired. I can’t keep up with him most of the time. Even just watching him is exhausting. Tiredness aside, simple physics holds me back from activities with him. I’m really big. He’s really little. Things made for him and the average-size parent are not suitable for my much-greater-than-average size. Swings, slides, and amusement park rides are all so much more difficult or even impossible because of how much I weigh and how much space I take up. My son LOVES adventure, and right now I feel like I’m stopping him from having as much of it as he deserves.

But the worst part about being the fat mom? I worry that someday my son is going to be ashamed and embarrassed by me. I am full of sarcasm and sass (in the best ways possible), but that’s not what gets noticed across the baseball field or playground. My son doesn’t see my weight or size right now. He’s 3. He sees me as the snack getter, kiss giver, and snuggle partner. As he gets older, though, and becomes more aware of the world and all the ways people judge others, there’s a big chance that could change. And I can’t handle it.

For years, I’ve convinced myself that even though I’ve never truly been successful I was totally capable of losing weight all on my own — despite the fact that 98% of people with a high amount of excess weight fail to lose the necessary amount of weight and keep it off. That’s nearly 100%! I have debated weight-loss surgery several times. Every time the passing thought popped into my head, I pushed it out just as quickly. I talked a lot of smack about the surgery. Admittedly, I’m 99% sure it was a defense mechanism to make myself feel better about still being so heavy and feeling like a failure about it.

Finally, though, I am taking the leap I should have taken years ago. I am having 80% of my stomach removed during a procedure called a sleeve gastrectomy. I started the weight-loss surgery process in August 2016 and have encountered some self-inflicted roadblocks and obstacles along the way. But, all fingers crossed, all wood knocked, the procedure is happening in a few weeks.

I am very much aware that this surgery is not a guaranteed success or a quick fix.

But I can’t be the fat mom anymore.

Or the fat daughter. Or the fat anything. I have to try to take control, and I have only shown to be incapable of that on my own. This is it. I really and truly hope that being this big and heavy is over — and that the fat mom has sung her final number.

Keeping Sports Safe :: 3 Questions To Ask Your Child’s Coach

By

Kat Cornetta

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April 2, 2018

Two recent sexual abuse scandals in youth sports have many parents wondering how they can ensure the same never happens to their own children. Over 200 athletes have come forward to accuse USA Gymnastics team physician Larry Nassar of sexual abuse, and he has been sentenced to 40–125 years in prison. News continues to come out about the more than 250 coaches and staff affiliated with USA Swimming who have been disciplined or charged over a 20-year span for sexual misconduct and abuse.

How can parents ensure this never happens ever again? It starts by asking questions of the sports programs and activities your child participates in. Being aware of policies and protocols will go a long way in ensuring a safe environment for your children. Quality programs should be able to answer many of the following questions.

What training and certifications do your coaches/teachers have?

First off, you want to know what type of experience your coach has in the sport or activity. If she is a dance teacher, who did she study with and what conventions does she attend for professional development? If he coaches a team sport, how many years has he played, and what types of teams has he led or assisted with in the past? Hockey or figure skating, what tests have they passed in their own careers and in what system were they in (ISI, USFSA, USA Hockey)?

In addition, you want to ask about their first aid and CPR certifications. They should be certified and up to date. You may also want to look into whether they have taken coursework in education (i.e., early childhood ed, developmental or coaching psychology) and or kinesiology (body mechanics). Those experiences aren’t necessary, but they might enhance the coaching your child receives.

If my child is injured during practice or competition, what is the protocol?

One thing the USA Gymnastics controversy brought to light was the possibility of abuse while being treated for injury. Another aspect of the Nassar case was that the gymnasts ended up not having their injuries treated at all. How can you make sure your child is treated appropriately and safely for any injury that may occur during a game or practice?

For minor injuries, is there a safe place on the sidelines or away from equipment where they can take a time out and treat it? Is a first-aid kit easily accessible?

If there is a training or treatment room, where is it located? Who is allowed in there? How is treatment documented? Can you be with your child when they receive treatment? Trainers should not be alone with just one child in a private room giving treatment.

If the injury is major, what hospital would your child be transported to? If you aren’t around when the injury occurs, when would coaches notify you? Where is emergency contact information kept?

Lastly, what is the program’s concussion protocol? Some programs (especially for older children and teenagers) may ask your child to go through baseline testing prior to getting started to establish a norm they can be tested against if a concussion is ever suspected.

What are your hiring practices for assistant coaches or other staff who will be involved?

Many activities and sports will promote teenage students to assistant coach or teacher positions. (In fact, that’s how I started my education career 20 years ago — a 16-year-old assistant dance teacher!) Many children love being able to play and learn from the “big kids,” and the teenagers get valuable experience in the process.

However, you may still want to ask what the criteria is for a student to be elevated to an assistant position? How many years of training do they need? Do they need to have the same first aid and CPR certifications as the head coaches and teachers? (For instance, when I was 16 I had those certifications because I was also babysitting, but my studio didn’t require it.)

There also might be other staff involved in the program — athletic trainers, choreographers, strength trainers, substitute coaches, office assistants. Do they have to meet the same requirements as the coaches? Are they background checked?

Ensuring that youth sports are safe takes a village of dedicated coaches, mindful administrators, and aware parents. After you do your due diligence as a parent, make sure your child knows that if anything doesn’t feel right about the activity, they need to let you know immediately.

Red Sox to Move to Worcester at the Close of Season

By

Boston Moms

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April 1, 2018

HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY!!!

There’s no place like Fenway Park! The boys of summer are back, and we are looking forward to an exciting season of baseball with the Red Sox. Check out our post about bringing your kids to Fenway Park, and have some fun!