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Getting-Out Guide :: Boston’s Best Activities for Families This May

By
Deanna Greenstein
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We are so excited to partner with Goldfish Swim School to bring you this Guide to May!

April showers have given way to May flowers! There are many events in and around Boston this May, guaranteeing that you and your family will have tons of ways to enjoy springtime in our fantastic city! Check out our monthly events guide, brought to you by Goldfish Swim School, to get some great ideas for family fun!

In addition to this guide, our calendar has daily events listed to keep you active and entertained this month!

We’ve also included links to area libraries and recurring events. We know this is not a comprehensive list, so if you think of any fun family activities we missed, please share them with us in the comments.

If you are looking to connect with other moms near you, make sure to join our Community & Conversation Group!

May 1–6

May 4 :: Family Printmaking with Coco Berkman :: Sawyer Free Library, Gloucester

Families are invited to join together and create a small self-portrait print. Participants will be provided with paper, fabric, and flat textures to glue onto a piece of cardboard to create their image, which is then rolled with ink and hand rubbed until their masterpiece is completed!

May 4 :: Bird Carving Demonstration with Paul Phillips :: Harwich Cultural Center, Harwich

As a part of Boston Art Week demonstrations, decoy maker Paul Phillips will demonstrate the art of decoy carving. Paul is an experienced woodworker and carver who volunteers at the Elmer Crowell Barn (part of the Brooks Academy Museum). He will share his knowledge about the folk art of decoy birds and decorative bird art, and create a demonstration for all to enjoy.

May 5 :: SSC Youth Orchestra Concert :: Duxbury High School Performing Arts Center, Duxbury

SSC Youth Orchestra provides an opportunity for dedicated young musicians from all over the South Shore to perform symphonic music at a high level. The orchestra invites the community to join them for their final concert of the year. The performance is preceded with an “instrument petting zoo,” where youngsters can get up close and personal with the instruments featured later in the program.

May 5 and May 12 :: Exploring With the New England Aquarium :: East Boston, Jamaica Plain

Get your hands wet while you meet some interesting local ocean animals! Educators from the New England Aquarium will be on hand to facilitate family-friendly STEM activities and answer your questions about tidepools!

These free events will take place from 1–3 p.m. at BCYF Paris Street Community Center (112 Paris Street, East Boston) on Sunday, May, 5, and from 1–3 p.m. at Curtis Hall (20 South Street, Jamaica Plain) on Sunday, May 12.

May 7–13

May 10–June 8 :: Boston Ballet Presents Cinderella :: Citizens Bank Opera House, Boston

You are invited to the Royal Ball! Boston Ballet presents Cinderella, an enchanting full-length classic fairytale ballet. For a limited time, youth ages 17 and under receive 50% off ticket prices with the purchase of one full-priced ticket. For more information, visit bostonballet.org or call 617.695.6955.

May 11 :: Zootopia :: Franklin Park Zoo, Boston

At Zootopia, Zoo New England’s annual fundraising gala, guests will enjoy a cocktail reception, auction, dinner, dancing, and the opportunity to meet some of the zoo’s animal ambassadors.

May 12 :: Lilac Sunday at the Arnold Arboretum :: Arnold Arboretum, Jamaica Plain

A tradition since 1908, Lilac Sunday is a beautiful way to spend Mother’s Day! The beautiful plants are mainly located on the edge of Bussey Hill Road. Tours of the lilacs and family activities are available from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Picnicking is permitted in the Arboretum on this day only. Please bring your own food, as there will be no food vendors. The landscape is open from dawn until dusk.

May 12 :: Mother’s Day Brunch and Stroll :: Norman Smith Environmental Education Center, Milton (Mass Audubon, Blue Hills Reservation)

Celebrate Mother’s Day with a delicious pancake brunch followed by a guided hike in the woods, led by one of the naturalists. Search for birds and enjoy the beautiful wildflowers and views from atop Chickatabut Hill. In the event of rain, there will be a live animal presentation in place of the hike.

May 12 :: Mother’s Day at Stone Zoo and Franklin Park Zoo :: Stoneham and Boston

Celebrate Mom at Franklin Park and Stone Zoos this Mother’s Day with free admission for all mothers throughout the day.

May 14–20

May 16 :: Take Aparts :: Discovery Museum, Acton

Are your little ones constantly taking things apart to see what is inside? Have you always wondered what the inside of your computer or television looked like? Come to the Discovery Museum, grab a screwdriver, and check it out at this interactive event, sponsored by Analog Devices Inc.

May 16–19 :: The Perils of Mr. Punch :: Puppet Showcase Theater, Brookline

Audience members will jump in on the journey detailing the ongoing troubles of Mr. Punch, puppetry’s favorite loudmouth. Join Mr. Punch as he and the Bozo Brothers sing their way through trouble, adventure, and triumph in this hilarious new production by Modern Times Theater. In addition to this hilarious puppet show, the program also features a concert, where the audience will enjoy music ranging from early jazz to American folk, played on everything from a ukulele to a bike pump!

May 18 :: Franklin Park Coalition’s Kite and Bike Festival :: Pierpont Road, Boston

Pack a picnic, grab your kites and bikes, and join others at this joyous annual festival! Guests will be entertained by kite-making activities, games, and activities led by Playworks, Appalachian Club’s OutdoorsRX, and Biking in Boston. There will also be food vendors, face painting, and live music performances!

May 18 :: Free Ferry Day :: Boston Harbor Cruises, Long Wharf North

Thanks to generous funders, Boston Harbor Cruises is able to once again offer free tickets on selected days throughout the warm-weather months! Free tickets for the Boston Harbor Cruises ferry will be distributed on a first come, first serve basis at the Ferry Center on Long Wharf North beginning at 8:30 a.m. Each adult in line may pick up a maximum of four tickets. No tickets will be given out at the Boston Harbor Islands Welcome Center on the Greenway or Long Wharf South ticket booth.

May 18 :: Family Design Day – Treehouses :: BSA Space, Boston

In this fun workshop, families learn how architects create strong structures that give more to the earth than they take from it. Families will be guided through creating their own trees from cardboard and wood and then designing and building a treehouse to rest in its branches. This program is best for children between 5 and 13 years old, and there is a ratio of one adult to three children.

 

May 21–27

May 23 :: Garden of Flags Name-Reading Ceremony :: Boston Common

Each year, more than 37,000 flags are placed on Boston Common in front of the Soldiers and Sailors Monument to commemorate the Massachusetts service members who have given their lives to defend the United States since the Revolutionary War. Flags will be placed on Wednesday, May 22, beginning at noon. A name reading ceremony will be held in front of the flag display on Thursday, May 23, to commemorate the Massachusetts service members killed since September 11, 2001.

May 25 :: Annual Memorial Day Services :: Veteran’s Memorial Park, Boston

The 73rd annual Memorial Day Services will be held at Veteran’s Memorial Park in Boston beginning at 11 a.m. on Saturday, May 25. This beautiful park hosts monuments commemorating those who fought in World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War, and can be found near the Kelleher Rose Gardens.

May 25 :: Descendants Character Meet and Greet :: Waterford’s Restaurant and Pub, Dedham

Get geared up for the premiere of the third Descendants movie with this exciting event. Meet your favorite characters ahead of the summer release of Descendants 3! Tickets include a hot buffet brunch, printed photos with all the characters, and themed arts and crafts!

May 25 and May 26 :: Blue Butterfly Peace Lanterns :: ArtBeat, Arlington

This annual Memorial Day event reminds us that peace is something we make together. Participants will add paper designs to white lanterns to create glowing reminders of our role in a peaceful planet. This event is best suited for children ages 8 and over, but children as young as 4 are invited to participate with their families.

May 26 :: Wareham Oyster Festival :: Wareham

Celebrate all things shellfish at this free street festival! Guests will enjoy local seafood (and some non-seafood treats for the landlubbers!), wine and beer, live music, a 5K walk, and craft vendors.

May 26 :: Institute of Contemporary Art Free Admission Day :: ICA, Boston

Visit the Institute of Contemporary Art on Memorial Day and receive free admission. From 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., visitors are invited to use stencils and special artist markers to create their own art on acetate paper.

 

May 28–31

May 29 :: World Otter Day at Stone Zoo :: Stone Zoo, Stoneham

Learn more about these adorable and fascinating creatures at the Stone Zoo while celebrating World Otter Day! Find out fun facts, such as how fast an otter can swim and how long they can hold their breath underwater, and learn how we humans can help to protect and preserve the species!

May 31 :: PJ Library Community Shabbat Picnic and Drum Circle :: Whittemore-Robins House Lawn, Arlington

Join PJ Library for the annual Community Shabbat picnic at the Whittemore-Robins House Lawn from 6–7:30 p.m. Tony Fonseca from All Hands Drumming will guide families in a kid-friendly drum circle! Guests are asked to bring their own picnics, and grape juice, challah, and cookies will be provided.

May 31 :: Duke Ellington’s Sacred Jazz :: Bethel A.M.E. Church, Jamaica Plain

An amazing array of talented musicians will present excerpts from Duke Ellington’s Sacred Jazz works at this moving event. Singers from People’s Baptist Church, teens from Boston City Singers, Paul White jazz trio, a narrator, and a tap dancer at Bethel will perform these works at the A.M.E. Church in Jamaica Plain.

Ongoing Events

Storytime at Showcase Cinema de Lux :: Patriot Place, Foxborough :: Tuesdays, 11 a.m.

This free weekly storytime takes place every Tuesday at Showcase Cinema de Lux. After a story reading, a special character makes a weekly appearance followed by a short movie.

Public Telescope Nights at New England Sci-Tech :: 16 Tech Circle, Natick :: Tuesdays and Fridays, 8–9 pm

The public is invited to join New England Sci-Tech for an evening of astronomy during the spring, summer, and fall months. Depending on staff availability, inside activities such as planetarium shows and visiting the astronomy classrooms may be available. Visitors are also invited to borrow smaller “starblast” telescopes to use on their own.

Recreation Sundays on Memorial Drive :: Memorial Drive, Cambridge :: Sundays, May–November

Every Sunday, from the last Sunday of April to the second Sunday of November, Memorial Drive is closed to traffic between Western Avenue and Mount Auburn Street — and open to recreation! Ride a bike or scooter, take a jog, or bring your baby on a leisurely stroll down this usually busy road while you enjoy the beautiful views of the Charles River!

Urban Air Sensory Friendly Jump/Play Time :: Bellingham :: Sundays, 9 a.m. 

This event is specifically designed for children with autism and special needs to enjoy time at the park and have a lot of fun without loud music and flashing lights! The lights will be white and music/video games turned off for those with sensory challenges during this time.

Baby-Friendly Monday Matinees at the Capitol Theatre :: Arlington :: Mondays, 12–2 p.m. 

The Capitol Theatre features a baby-friendly movie every Monday afternoon. Please check the theater’s Monday schedule to see what feature has been selected for parents and their infants. 

Kids’ Art Club :: Dorchester :: Tuesdays, 4:30–5:30 p.m. 

This club has a new art project at the library every Tuesday. Projects include collage self-portraits and artist’s books. Art Club projects are showcased in rotating displays in the library children’s room.

Nature Time at Blue Hills Trailside Museum :: Milton :: Thursdays, 10:30–11:30 a.m. 

Introduce your preschool-aged child to nature with this fun program. Programs may feature a story, nature games, crafts, short walks outside, or meeting one of the museum’s animal residents. Meet, play, and learn with other area families. Each program runs for 45 minutes and meets most Thursdays. Museum admission is included with this program. Children must be accompanied by an adult.

JFN Free Friday Playgroup :: Natick :: Fridays, 9:30–11:30 a.m.

Bring the little ones and come join other parents and caregivers in the Metrowest area for a fun-filled morning of play and socializing. There are plenty of songs, activities, toys, snacks, and laughter, as both the children and their grown-ups build connections and lasting friendships. 

Backyard and Beyond: Forest Fridays :: Acton :: Fridays, 10–11 a.m. 

A great way for the whole family to enjoy time outdoors, the Forest Friday program is held outside, no matter the weather. Every Friday morning there is a nature-based activity based on the weather and season, either in Discovery Woods or out on the adjacent conservation land. All ages are welcome but activities are designed for 2- to 6-year-olds. Please note that the conservation land trails are not ADA or stroller accessible; please wear appropriate footwear and clothing.

Storytime at the Curious George Store :: Cambridge :: Fridays, 10:30–11 a.m. 

Small children and their caregivers are welcome at these weekly storytimes, running throughout the year. 

SaturPLAY :: Rose Kennedy Greenway – Chinatown :: Boston :: Select Saturdays, 1–3 p.m. 

The Asian Community Development Corporation’s youth program, A-VOYCE, hosts a placemaking event monthly to activate and bring children to The Greenway’s Mary Soo Hoo Park. Each month features a different theme with games, activities, crafts, and more. Youth volunteers are on hand to engage children. SaturPlay is subject to weather conditions.

ImprovBoston Family Show :: Cambridge :: Saturdays, 4–5 p.m.

Improv Boston’s improv and music extravaganza is completely made up on the spot every week based on your suggestion. No two shows are alike! Best of all, children who want to participate have opportunities to be on stage and take part in the fun! The show is ideal for family outings, birthday parties, and school field trips. It’s fun for the whole family and best for children ages 4-12.

guide to may pinterest

The Runaway Mother (and the Need for Self-Care)

By
Sarah Casimiro
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“Mommy’s back!” welcomes me as I walk in the door. It’s a glorious end to my first postpartum run and attempt at self-care, until I look at my husband’s face, both irritated and overwhelmed, as he feeds our 3-month-old a bottle. “Ceci didn’t stop screaming or whining the entire time you were gone. She was an ogre and didn’t listen to anything I said. Addie started crying as soon as you walked out the door. It’s like she sensed it.”

And just like that, my runner’s buzz evaporates. 

At this point in time, I am my 3-year-old’s favorite. This means that wherever I go, she goes. Whatever I do, she does. And whatever she needs, mommy must fulfill. I admit that being wanted and needed is a wonderful feeling. I love being loved. But it is also exhausting. 

I’m pretty sure my husband thinks my daughters and I spend our time together plotting against him — like we hatch plans that exclude him and make him feel like an outsider. If only we were so organized. 

Being the favorite means an inquisitor accompanies me on every bathroom trip. Occasionally, when I escape to the bathroom alone and lock the door, I hear knocking, handle-jiggling, and demands: “Open the door!” and “Come out, you!” When I shower, there’s a 3-foot-1 dictator standing outside the shower door asking, “Whatchu doin, Mommy?” and “Mama, what’s this thing?” about something I cannot see and she cannot explain. When I go to Target, she goes to Target; if she has to potty, I hold her hand; when I get a chai from Starbucks, she has to try it. Every evening, at bedtime, my husband asks if he can read her a story. Her response: “How about Mama?” 

How about Mama?

Mama is tired. Mama needs time to decompress. And if that means going for a run for 35 or 40 minutes, she should be able to, without feeling a horrible sense of guilt when she returns home. After that first run, I pulled aside my 3-year-old and told her Mommy needs her to be a good girl for Daddy when Mommy leaves the house. I also explained to my husband that I was sorry she was so difficult but that the prospect of not being able to enjoy some much-needed self-care was daunting.

Amazingly, it worked. My subsequent runs still conclude with “Mommy’s home!” but with less frustration from my husband — and better behavior from my 3-year-old. The baby still cries, but we’re working on that. 

Believe me, I know this phase will be short-lived. I know she will move on. One day, I will not be her favorite. She will pick my husband, or her nana, or someone else to be kind and loving to, and I will most likely retreat into a corner to cry, longing for her toddler years. I remind myself to indulge in her hand-holding, her on-looking, and her insistence to be wherever mama is, because exhaustion is a small price to pay for this kind of love. I will take comfort in the fact that she, her sister, and my husband will be OK if I escape for a moment of self-care, and when I return, I will resume my prestigious position of potty hand-holder, bedtime story-reader, bagel-with-cream-cheese feeder, and superhero/princess sidekick.

Mastering the Juggle :: Kids + Graduate School

By
Boston Moms
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Graduate school, round two, took me a long time. Though I sped through my master’s in Jewish studies right after undergrad, shaving off a semester of coursework by front-loading courses and exams, the second time around was a radically different pace. I was pursuing a doctorate this time, but I don’t think that was really the difference.

I was also pursuing a family.

To my pregnant mind, this seemed ideal. Aside from time in class teaching (or learning), I would have the flexibility to parent AND get my work done on my own schedule. I recognized there would be some sleepless nights ahead from one or both of these sources, but that seemed like a fine trade-off for being able to pull these two feats off simultaneously. Both, it should be noted, felt time-bound to me; they also both felt like essential steps in the future I was planning.

This was the beginning of constantly recalibrating the balance of the personal and professional, present and future. And although my doctorate took as many years to conceive and birth as the kids took months, some of the gleanings along the way still comfort and inform me today, especially as I work with men and women seeking to strike that balance as they consider graduate school.

Here are some tools that helped me along the way:

1. Find the right partners who believe in and see you holistically.

This starts at home but extends to family, friends, advisors, and even doctors who value you, your time, your ambitions, and your whole self. They recognize the interconnection between your parent and student identities and help you grow in both roles, rather than privileging one over another.

2. Seek out the institutions and people whose values align with your life and work.

Take note of both policies and less formal norms that shape the culture, especially by talking with alumni and current students about their individual experiences.

3. Ask for what you truly need — from both your partners and your institutions.

Once you’re realistic about your roadblocks, enlist that boost to get over them. For me, that was time to work and write. Easier said than done, especially with constant urgent daily needs at home. I needed to ask for what I needed explicitly, including through grant requests. And once I had the guts to ask, I received financial support for childcare, which did indeed equal time (please refer back to #2 above!).

4. Try to use the gained time exclusively for school and work, despite all the other lower-hanging fruit that demands attention.

By creating fixed times and places for work, I sought to hold myself accountable, often committing out loud to others (including those who had no stake whatsoever) to finishing a page, section, or chapter.

5. Keep the things that keep you sane.

All along, when I managed to sustain the things that keep stress at bay — for me those are things like exercise and reading fiction before bed — I accomplished more. At first, these seem to take time away from work, but they are additive in the long run, generating more energy and greater focus for your fixed work times.

In taking on these challenges simultaneously, I certainly gave myself the gift of understanding and appreciating my own capacities for balance, living with imperfection, and finding the partnerships that continue to sustain me in my personal and professional life. I also showed my kids firsthand the extent to which our family values learning, growth, and supporting each other as we go after the lives we crave. I hope that image stays with each of them as they start to imagine their own careers and families, and the path to their future.  

Dr. Deborah Skolnick Einhorn is associate dean for academic development at Hebrew College’s Shoolman Graduate School of Jewish Education and assistant professor of Jewish education at Hebrew College. She is the mother of three children, all of whom were gestated and delivered during her doctoral program. 

Loss and Uncertainty :: A Fat Mom’s Swan Song One Year Later

By
Caitlin Hynes
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fat mom - Boston Moms Blog

130 pounds

This is the numerical value of what I’ve lost in the past year. If you break it down into the simplest terms, in the most basic way to understand, I have lost 130 pounds. For those of you who do better with visuals, that is 130 packages of butter. In the course of one year, I have lost the equivalent of an entire middle school boy.

The past year, though, simply cannot be described by a number. Don’t get me wrong — I’m incredibly proud of this number. There might be days where I wish it were a little higher and days where I still actually can’t believe it, but overall, this number is just a small piece of my life that has changed since last April.

I’m not sure I can even describe everything I’ve lost in the past year. My marriage ended. I don’t get to see my son every day. Any sense of safety and security flew out the window. I lost what I thought was a certain future. 

One part of me celebrates what I have lost — 130 pounds! I have a newfound sense of confidence and self-assuredness that comes with feeling so much better about my body and health. I stop and look in store mirrors and don’t cringe at the reflection. Do I suddenly think my body is perfect? God, no. Do I think it’s possible to be beautiful and plus-sized? Of course! That was just never how I felt about myself. I don’t think beauty is equal to size, but I was never comfortable in my skin for a lot of reasons. 

The other part of me grieves for what I have lost. Divorce was never a word in my vocabulary. I never expected to start my life over in so many ways at 34 years old. There are times when I feel so empty and hollow without my old life. I miss my son like crazy when he’s with his dad. I’m so much more confident in some ways, but so much more critical of myself in other ways. Processing these simultaneous feelings can be exhausting, and there are nights I hit my bed exhausted from the mental and emotional demands of every day.  

I never would have guessed how this last year would have gone. So I definitely cannot even begin to guess what will happen over the course of the next year. Uncertainty is pretty much all I’m certain of. 

 

Infertility to Adoption :: A Fight for a Family

By
Leah Lynch
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April 21–27 is National Infertility Awareness Week. We honor this movement that has set out to reduce stigma and educate the public about reproductive health and issues that make building a family so difficult for so many.

A few years ago I had to make one of the worst phone calls of my life. I had to tell my sister I was pregnant with my third child. I knew this news would hit her hard. She and her husband had been trying to have a baby for years. They were in their second year of infertility treatments and not having any success. Her response was exactly what I had expected — she took a deep breath and congratulated me. I am certain she cried after we hung up.

I’d never had issues with conception, so I knew I couldn’t truly understand. The pain and heartache, the hope and frustration, the doctor’s appointments and shots and the endless questions from family and friends must have felt so intrusive. My other sister and I felt so helpless. Neither of us was a candidate to be a surrogate for my sister. So all we could do was listen and support. We tried not to ask questions, instead letting my sister and her husband share what they wanted when they wanted.

After three years of infertility treatments that included IVF and surgery to help them conceive, the final answer was unbearable. No. No, they would not have a child together. My sister did have a daughter from a previous relationship who is now 13 years old. My niece has known her step-dad since she was 3 years old. They already were a family and were so grateful for my niece. But they wanted a baby together, and they wanted their daughter to have a sibling.

So after some soul searching and much discussion, they decided to pursue private domestic adoption. This choice was the right fit for them. They found a local adoption agency, A Full Circle Adoptions, which would match them with a birth mother. The birth mother would be choosing them to adopt her child.  

So after nine months of screenings, social worker home visits, lots of paperwork, and waiting, they got the most incredible news. They were in Disney World, with my niece and our mother, when they got the phone call announcing they had been chosen to be the parents of a precious little girl. Then, my sister got to make the best call of her life. She got to call her sisters and tell them they were going to be aunties again. I can tell you, when I hung up the phone with her that Sunday afternoon, I absolutely cried.

Three days later they met their daughter (and got to meet her birth mother, too) and took my new niece home. My sister and my brother-in-law said it was an amazing experience. To be handed the most perfect, beautiful, and loving gift anyone could ever give them. To be trusted with such a responsibility to care for, love, and raise this little girl with her older sister is a privilege and a blessing they do not take lightly.

All the heartache, moments of doubt and insecurity, all the waiting was for this child, this baby girl, this life and her future. They fought for this dream of this family. The road and decisions were not easy or simple. But the story of infertility to adoption — for them — matters. It matters because it brought them to this child. She is, and always has been, their daughter.

Sisters.

On Worrying, and Taking Timeless Parenting Advice from a Beloved Author

By
Kate Cotter
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worrying - Boston Moms Blog

Spring has just about sprung — the season of light and life, blooming joy after a long, dark, brutal winter.

And yet, I worry.

Truthfully, it doesn’t matter the season. I worry regardless. I’ve always been a worrier, and this only became amplified when I became a mother. It consumes me, at times. Some of this worrying is a natural part of motherhood. I worry that my kids will all be hit with the same horrible illness at the same time, and that I will catch it too and won’t be able to take care of them. Been there, done that, we all survived. I worry about my kids and bullying, having or causing unwarranted hurt feelings, the loss of innocence while they are on the bus and at school, without me. I worry that all the deep conversations we have about being kind, generous, and good people are not always remembered while they are running around on the playground. 

Some of my worry is a bit out of left field, but perfectly justified to me: I recently woke up in the middle of the night in a panic that my kids are all bound to catch lice (and possibly my husband and I), putting a major damper on our spring. Sometimes I realize, with constant reminders from my husband and others, that there’s no sense in worrying about things I cannot control. It’s a waste of negative energy and a cause of major pointless anxiety.

One of these “others” comes in the form of one of my favorite authors, F. Scott Fitzgerald, who famously wrote The Great Gatsby. I recently came across a letter he wrote to his daughter in August 1933 that was published in the New York Times in 1958 (and more recently on the blog Farnam Street). It is steeped in parenting wisdom from more than 85 years ago, and it’s still mostly relevant today. Here are two lists he included in his letter (I particularly love the difference in the lists’ lengths). This letter speaks to me in two ways — as a mother who worries, and as a voice of advice and wisdom that I would like to bestow upon my own children as they grow. I hope these lists do the same for you!

Things to worry about:

Worry about courage
Worry about cleanliness
Worry about efficiency
Worry about horsemanship

Things not to worry about:

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failure unless it comes through your own fault
Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions

What would you add to these lists today?

 

 

How I Glow :: My First HydraFacial

By
Morgan Sheena
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We are excited to partner with Boston Plastic Surgery on this post.

As I’ve gracefully aged, I’ve come to realize that what my skin needs now as I’m pushing 40 is a lot different than my early 30s. My concerns have focused on fine lines, dryness, and overall tone. It’s a bit daunting, to be honest.

I’d been wanting to try a HydraFacial for quite some time but didn’t know if it was the right fit for me. But the more I researched, the more I knew this was just the spring refresh my skin needed to shake away the winter dullness. HydraFacial is a multistep process that uses a machine to target a variety of skin conditions, all in the name of revealing amazing skin.  

First, your skin is cleansed and exfoliated. This gets it nice and clean and gets rid of those dead skin cells. Second, a peel is applied, which creates a subtle tingling to treat the skin. Next is the extraction part, which I typically dread. Usually, this makes me so miserable, but the machine did all the work to gently suck all the gunk out of my skin. Finally, serums are applied to hydrate and protect.

Jen at Boston Plastic Surgery gave me my first (of hopefully many) HydraFacials. The office in Quincy is easy to find, and it’s bright and airy. The staff was so nice and friendly and made sure I was comfortable and settled while I waited. Jen brought me right back, took some pictures, and then gave me a brief education! She told me about what the machine does and how it all works, so I knew exactly what to expect. Then I settled in under the blanket, got nice and comfortable, and we got to work. Jen let me know each step of the process and what it might feel like. She also made sure I knew that if anything was uncomfortable she would be happy to modify as needed. Overall, it took about an hour.

  

What did I think? My skin felt soft and looked so much brighter. I also found it wasn’t drinking up moisturizer like before. When I put on makeup a few days later for an event, it went on smoother than normal and stayed put! Other people noticed, too. My husband commented that I was looking so bright the next day. When I replied that I was wearing all black, he said I almost seemed to be glowing. It was the HydraFacial!

Worth it.

Boston Plastic Surgery is a full-service plastic surgery practice and skincare center located in Quincy, Massachusetts. Plastic surgeons Dr. Fouad J. Samaha, Dr. Jeffrey H. Lee, and their talented and caring staff have been helping Boston patients achieve their aesthetic goals for over 20 years. Specializing in breast augmentation, body contouring, non-surgical facial rejuvenation, and more, Drs. Samaha and Lee work with patients at the AASAF Accredited surgery suite and the Skin Wellness Center to achieve natural-looking results with outstanding safety and service. For patient testimonials, before and after photos, educational blogs, and more, please visit their website at www.bostonplastic.com, or call 617-786-7600 to schedule your consultation. Boston Plastic Surgery is located at 2300 Crown Colony Drive, Suite 101, Quincy, MA 02169.

How I Glow __ My First HydraFacial _ Boston Moms Blog
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Love Yourself, for Your Daughter’s Sake

By
Kristen D
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love yourself - Boston Moms Blog
Photo courtesy BMB contributor Kristen Douthit.

A few months ago I was at a neighborhood playgroup with a few other moms. One mom benignly commented to a new arrival and her toddler daughter, “I can’t believe how big she’s getting!” to which the second mom replied, “Yeah, I know, she’s really getting fat, isn’t she?”

We all jumped in to assure her that her daughter was not fat, she had an adorable toddler belly, and she looked absolutely healthy! The conversation moved on, but that little exchange stuck with me.

While I was initially aghast, I was quickly convicted that I’m not that far off from my friend. 

I don’t worry about my daughter’s weight, because frankly, I think the toddler belly is adorable. But I worry about other things, if I’m honest. I worry about her hair always being a mess, or how her clothing looks, or how loud she is.

When I consciously think about it, I don’t actually care if her hair is a mess or her clothes don’t match. She’s 2! (Newsflash: Most 2-year-olds are loud and messy!) And she’s beautiful and fierce and perfect just as she is! But *subconsciously* I catch myself noticing and worrying about appearance far more for my daughter than for my sons. As awful as that sounds, I’m guessing I’m not alone in that.

When I analyzed these petty things, I noticed something important — it was almost always more about me than about my daughter.  

I’m terrible at doing my own hair and always insecure about it, so when my daughter’s flies amok, I worry that I’ve failed her or that people will judge her based on my lack of skill. I don’t want her to struggle with the same insecurity that I feel, so I overthink it. 

As a child, I was always told that I had too big of a voice for a girl, that I was loud and bossy. I was so self-conscious that I muted my own voice and still speak too quietly sometimes.

Here’s my point: 

How we think about ourselves — our bodies, our personalities — affects how we parent our children, especially our daughters. At times it affects how we speak about them, and the things we criticize. But more often than not, it determines how they should view themselves by seeing and hearing how we view ourselves.  

For the sake of those we love, we need to learn how to love and accept ourselves. It’s time to interrupt the script we continually cycle through: “Ugh, I’m getting so fat.” “I hate my thighs.” “My hair is a wreck.” “I wish I had her skin.” “Nothing looks good on me!”

It starts with noticing our own scripts, because some of it is so ingrained that we can barely see it. Where are you critical of yourself? What do you constantly find yourself commenting on about yourself? Where do you feel like you can never measure up?

And then we have the hard task of rewriting our scripts.  

  • For some of us, we need to silence our inner critic and not allow ourselves to verbalize our self-criticism. Tell that inner voice her opinion isn’t valid and she needs to stuff it, because you are a strong, capable woman who has the superpower of surviving on little sleep and the scraps left over from your toddler’s rejected dinner. If you can’t speak that truth for yourself, find a friend who can and schedule coffee, stat.
  • For others, we need to reframe our self-loathing. “I’m thankful I was able to carry three babies, and my thighs are a small price to pay.” Or, “My skin might look like a high schooler’s, but my self-confidence has grown dramatically since then and I’m really grateful for that.” Look for gratitude and start there. 
  • And for still others of us, we have to take action to work on the areas of our bodies or our personalities that we’re not satisfied with. Book an appointment with a counselor. Set up a training session with a fitness coach. Join a gym that has great childcare. Make an appointment with a stylist to get a cute haircut that’s easy to maintain. (Why is it so hard to make this happen!?)

Because, friends, our daughters are watching, and we get the privilege of being their first model of what it looks like to be strong, beautiful, capable women. Women who like themselves, speak kindly to themselves and others, and don’t stagnate but actively pursue growth.

Congrats on Your New Baby! But I’m Not Coming to Visit…

By
Krystal Avila
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You might be a first-time mom, or maybe this is your second (or even third) go round, and I am SO happy for you! We talked and got together until that day you gave birth, but now, I will only be seeing you through Facetime and pictures.

I will NOT come see you. I will NOT be visiting your new baby. I will NOT bring my germs to your newborn. 

Everyone gets so excited when family members or friends have a new baby, and we immediately want to see them. I have done the same. The first question I used to ask each friend who had a baby was, “When can I come meet him/her? What can I bring you? I’ll watch the baby while you sleep!” But, things have changed.

My son got meningitis at 4 weeks old. 

That Tuesday morning started out normally — his older brother was off to daycare, and I was catching up on a few minutes of sleep when my husband put the baby with me in bed and said he felt a little warm. I didn’t think much of it at first. Then I quickly remembered a recent conversation. “You need to call the doctor if your newborn has a fever over 100.3.” I rushed for a thermometer and took his temperature — 100.4. We called the doctor immediately. I was advised to undress the baby, wait a few minutes, and take his temperature again. We stripped him down to his onesie, and we waited. We took his temperature again — 100.5.

Ring ring…

“Take him to the ER.”

I dressed him lightly (it was early April), packed the diaper bag, and made my way out of the house. I couldn’t shake the unsettling feelings of “what if?” On my way to the car, I passed a small box on the porch — his birth announcements. I couldn’t even think about opening them. We were on our way to the hospital. What if? That feeling never left.

The hospital staff was very kind and took us in immediately. They took his temperature, they poked, and they prodded. And he never cried. He just sat there. He was referred to as the baby who didn’t flinch during the spinal tap. My baby didn’t even move when they stuck a large needle in his back.

I was scared. 

As I was waiting for the results from his spinal tap, he napped on me. I sort of felt like I was the patient, lying on the bed with him cuddled against me. It didn’t seem real. Then the nurse came in, “So, you heard the baby has meningitis?” WHAT?! No, no one told me. WHAT?! Meningitis. She immediately apologized and said the doctor would be right in. Cue the tears. I had held it together until those words came out. Meningitis. Then, I lost it. I immediately called my husband and mother. They were on their way. 

The doctor quickly scurried into the room to give me the diagnosis and prognosis. I had a million questions but felt like I could not get even one out. I simply stared and took in the information. It was explained to me that they were doing a lot of tests and did not think he had bacterial meningitis but had a form of viral meningitis that could easily have been caused by any virus going around. 

A virus going around?! And now my newborn has meningitis! It didn’t seem right. But yes, he caught a typical virus, and since he was so little and his immune system was not strong enough, it traveled to his brain and caused meningitis. After a five-day stay in the hospital and high doses of antibiotics, he was released from the hospital.

Thankfully, he has completely recovered, and we just celebrated his second birthday. You would never know what he went through at just 4 weeks old. You would never know, as I never did before that scary hospital stay, just how fragile newborns are. I know it is not possible to put our newborns in a bubble to protect them, but for now, no, I will not be visiting your new baby. I love you and cannot wait to meet that precious little one. But I will wait. I will wait until cold season is over. I will wait to visit when the baby is just a little older and stronger (and I have showered in hand sanitizer before entering your home).

An Open Letter to My Second Marriage

By
Boston Moms
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Dear Second Marriage,

I think maybe I’m not supposed to talk to you, or about you, and probably not in an open forum. I saw some cringe as they read the salutation of this letter. It could be easier to let people assume that this is my first marriage, but I don’t want that. Second marriage, I’m proud of you, and I’m proud of the role I play in you.

Am I a failure because it took me two tries to suss out how a marriage is supposed to work? Should I be ashamed that it took me another go-round to figure out the role I’m supposed to play? I spend all day telling students it’s OK to fail — that is how we learn. But I often feel hesitant to take that advice to heart. An acknowledgment of you means an acknowledgment of all the ways I failed the first time. I’m well aware of the statistics on you, second marriage. We are even more likely to fail than a first marriage because, to summarize the hundreds of internet articles on the subject, we have even more complexities than does a first marriage, with even less of the “glue” that can hold together a shaky union.

But I’ve learned a lot in the preparations for you and even more in the past year. It turns out that love involves more trips to the vet, meaningful eye contact over a small child’s head, nights asleep by 9, and dinners slapped together from miscellaneous, quasi-edible items than I would have suspected. It turns out that marriage involves a million moments in which one feels held together at the end of a long day by nothing more than mere threads. And then, you look at the woman recaulking the tub and realize she is the glue — and that you’re actually held together by love. And most importantly, you realize it is true love — not the idea of love, but of a love built on hard work and mindful partnership.

Second marriage, you are the opposite of glamorous, made even more so by the fact that there is a custody schedule to juggle. I know you have to withstand the fact that sometimes I am overwhelmed by sadness when our son is at his other house. But it turns out that a good marriage makes you an infinitely better parent. The more energy I used pretending to be happy, the less energy I had to play and dance and sing. Now used to receiving patience and kindness, I can parent with patience and kindness.

I’m sure there are a lot of you reading this and thinking, This could be a letter to my first marriage; I know these things and have this now. If that’s you, congratulations! Don’t take it for granted for even a moment. Lean in and love and cherish as hard as you can. Be generous with your praise and with your time for each other. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Be silent in your needless criticism and loud in your laughter.

But that brings me back to where I began. For some of us, it takes two tries to figure it out. It takes a spectacularly public failure to find our joy. Some of us will lose those we thought were friends (and a million other things) along the way to finding happiness. Nevertheless, I am aware every day that I have gained more than I’ve lost and that I am a better person now than I ever have been. And that’s why I write to you, second marriage. It is because of you and what you’ve given me. I have found joy amongst the judgment, the complexities, the ambiguities, and I am not ashamed to say so.

And I see you, other people’s second marriages, and this is a letter to you, too. We don’t all get it right the first time around, and there is no shame in that. But we can get it right this time, and we will. Statistics be damned.

Love, Me

Traveling with Toddlers :: Can We Talk About the Good Stuff Too?

By
Katie Biddle
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traveling with toddlers - Boston Moms Blog

Before my son was born, parents seemed to enjoy sharing all the things I should savor. Sleep now while you still can. Say good-bye to date nights without paying $50 for a babysitter. Enjoy traveling now, because soon you won’t be going anywhere for 18 years. Yes, these were all real warnings I heard (and sometimes still hear from other moms to expectant parents).

Now I’m not saying there isn’t any truth to these warnings. Life is certainly different with kids added to the mix. But why do people always mention the negatives? Can’t we talk about the good stuff too?

Our son will turn 2 in a few weeks, and he has already visited 16 states and spent a night in Canada. He has been a frequent flyer, and I’ve lost count of how many hours he has spent in the car. People often comment on our frequent travel — mostly a mix of inquiring and incredulous — because the common narrative seems to be that traveling with small children is miserable, or even impossible. I am here to tell you the other side of the story.

Yes, traveling with little ones certainly poses challenges. But for us, the rewards definitely outweigh the difficulties. Here’s why:

Actual face time with family

We don’t have a single family member in the Boston area (or New England, for that matter), so if we don’t travel, our son’s experience with family members would be mostly through a screen. While I am so grateful for the technology that can keep us connected across the miles, there is nothing quite like real human face time with the people he loves.

Switching up the routine

Many people list disruption to routine as a reason not to travel. I would argue that sometimes it is exactly the reason you should! We try our best to keep a similar nap, mealtime, and bedtime routine for our son on the road, but it can be fun to follow this daily routine in a new place. Bedtime stories in a cabin up in the mountains can suddenly seem a lot more exciting than the same stories at home (for a few nights, anyway).

Realizing the world is bigger than our neighborhood

I know our son won’t remember our travels from these early days of his life. I do hope that maybe these experiences in some way help him internalize that the world is so much more than our street here in Boston. Even if it doesn’t do that for him quite yet, it is good for me to remember that there is life outside nap schedules and “Daniel Tiger.”

It doesn’t have to be expensive

Yes, traveling can be expensive. But do your research before you rule it out! I have been surprised how affordable it can be, especially if you’re visiting friends or family who can also host. Even if you stay in a hotel or Airbnb, remember that most of the country doesn’t have quite the sticker shock of Boston! Buy groceries when you get there, drink the hotel coffee, find places where kids dine free — there are so many easy ways to keep costs down. And remember, kids only fly free until they turn 2… yet another reason to travel with a toddler!

This time is fleeting

Before we know it, our little guy will start school, I will go back to teaching, and suddenly our calendar will be filled with commitments. I want to take full advantage of this time that we have to travel together as a family while we have it. In fact, it was a major factor in my decision to take a few years away from teaching to be home with my son. If we’d waited until he was older, simply to avoid traveling with a toddler, we would miss out on so many amazing visits with family and friends.

Of course, every family situation is different, and only you can decide what is best for yours. I just want to make sure you hear a positive voice among the naysayers: You CAN travel with infants and toddlers, and it can be an amazing experience!

 

Are You the Next Boston Moms Blog Owner?

By
Morgan Sheena
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Four and a half years ago I decided to do something new and take a leap. I signed a contract with City Moms Blog Network to bring their hyperlocal platform to the Boston area. On February 18, 2015, our blog went live, and it’s been an absolute whirlwind since then.

In that time, our team has created something I am truly in awe of — a multi-platform resource with reach all over the Boston area, the state of Massachusetts, the country, and the world. We are a team of women who care about parenting, the Boston area and beyond, and sharing our hearts and knowledge with you. We publish new content five days a week and are very active on social media. We work with amazing companies from our own backyard and from across the country. We share content every single day that I am proud of and truly humbled by. And best of all, we have incredible readers who care so deeply about what we’ve built and actively share that resource with their tribe.

Like so many good things, sadly, this must come to an end for me. It’s time for me to pass the torch and put my baby into someone else’s hands. I’m ready to step down as the owner of Boston Moms Blog and find a new owner. Boston Moms Blog is for sale, and the new owner might be you (or a few of you)!

We are actively looking for new voices to take the reins of Boston Moms Blog. This is an excellent opportunity for one person or for a small group. We’ve put together a fairly comprehensive survey to see if this is the right fit for you. If you are interested in learning more, don’t hesitate to fill it out! Please also feel free to email me at info {at} bostonmomsblog {dot} org. Being part of this network will bring you a team of site owners and women from around the country who will be in your corner every step of the way.

It’s been an amazing ride, and I’m not going anywhere yet! I can’t thank you enough.

 

 

 

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