But I Don’t Have Time to Read

February 25, 2020

I get it. Motherhood is exhausting. And motherhood in addition to other commitments (you know, like a marriage, a job, friends) feels nearly impossible. Who has the extra time to read? I know I don’t. With two little ones to raise and five classes of high school English to teach, there have been periods of my life when the best I could do is keep up with their reading selections, never mind consider what literature I wanted to read. After a while, I realized I wasn’t getting what I needed out of reading. I needed my lit-fix.

That’s right: Reading feeds me the same way it feeds my babies and my students.

It can feed you, too — and that’s not just my teacher side talking. My favorite part of being a high school English teacher is when a student approaches me and proclaims, “Hey, I actually liked that book. It was good. And I actually read it!” If you can get past that last part, it’s really endearing. If you include that last part, it’s kind of a compliment to the author.

So how do I feed my love of literature, both fiction and nonfiction, when I am so exhausted that I pass out by 8:30 p.m. each night? How do I address this level of self-care that, when choosing the wrong book, can feel like an additional chore in itself? One word:

Audiobooks.

I have a library card. With that fancy piece of wallet-sized plastic, I can access a world of audiobooks. For free. If you’re like me, though, you have yet to download the OverDrive app on your phone, so you are not yet taking advantage of the free service. If you’re also like me, you do have the Amazon app and a Prime account. So instead of accessing thousands of titles for free, I pay a monthly membership and receive a single credit toward one audiobook of my choice using Audible, now linked to Amazon. Plus, if you start listening to a book and it isn’t your cup of tea, you can almost always exchange it for another title!

I have a 45-minute commute to and from work, five days per week. That’s 90 minutes (some days more) of listening time. While I also love listening to Matty in the Morning, I decided recently to use my time to read/listen to books. So every day, when I get into my car and secure my seat belt, I also plug my iPhone in and open my Audible app. Just this school year alone I have been able to listen to every single “Harry Potter” book. Now I know what you’re thinking… I thought she was trying to get away from adolescent literature. And that is true. But, I never read the “Harry Potter” series when it was popular. And now, at 38, I’m finally interested. And with an Audible account, I can make whatever choice I want.

Audiobooks have changed both my commute and my life. I know how that sounds. Absolutely ridiculous. But literature, no matter how I take it in, is as essential to my self-care as yoga or running or pedicures. I need books to be happy. Audiobooks make that possible. Whether you have the time to crack a book before bed, swipe a page on your tablet, or listen in on your way to work, reading can truly open your world and feed your soul.

How do you get your lit-fix?

The February (Photo) Cull :: A Photographer’s Tips for Organizing Your Photos

karynnovakowski

February 24, 2020

If January is the month to clean out your junk drawers and sock bins, then February is the month to clean up and organize your photos. I don’t mean diving into that shoebox of high school photos under your bed currently serving as a dust bunny magnet. I mean all those weirdly angled selfies, out-of-focus food photos, and blurry snaps of your darling dears.

Now before you click away, hear me out: Digital hoarding is taking its toll on…

our time (the hours spent searching through thousands of files to find the one we need),
our wallets (the money spent on bigger and bigger hard drives and cloud storage plans to house everything), and
our environment (the energy consumed by data storage centers in the form of electricity to keep the servers running and the cooling units to keep them from overheating).

Emails, music, texts, work files, and photos are just a few of the culprits. Today we’re going to focus on those old photos you’ve stocked away.

When taking photos, especially those with fast-moving kids, burst mode can be your friend. But burst mode can also leave you with hundreds of extra images taking up space on your phone and hard drive.

I’m going to give you a challenge: Choose only one or two of your favorite photos from your burst set. Then go ahead and delete the other 50. Seriously — do it. I understand the desire to keep ALL the photos, but I think holding on to just one or two will help you appreciate them more.

Here’s an example of my thought process using six photos. But you can apply this same thought process to many more images.

After a particularly long day that produced many, many dirty dishes and extremely exhausted parents, the kids started running laps around the dinner table. Each time my kids came into the frame I would click, click, click away, taking picture after picture of the same scene.

When I looked back through the pictures there were clearly photos that worked and photos that didn’t work. Out of these six, I easily culled them down to three. Then I took a closer look at those and decided to keep two. The picture on the far right is the best of the set, but the one in the middle is good, too, and includes both kids.

Then, I gave myself permission to delete the four photos that just didn’t work.

Now, you might be thinking, “OK. I see why you don’t need those four extra images above. But are you saying that I don’t need 27,001 photos of my baby making slightly different expressions with his face?”

Yes, that is what I’m saying. Or I’m saying you only need 10. I grabbed this set taken in March 2017 to illustrate my point. In the span of 30 minutes I took roughly 70 photos of my 7-month-old baby sitting and laying down. I am quite certain I don’t need to keep all 70 photos. But let’s take a closer look.

Just by doing a quick first pass, I was able to cut the photos down to half — 34 images. I eliminated all the blurry and out-of-focus ones. But, in my opinion, that’s still way too many photos of my baby simply sitting and smiling.

Let’s take a closer look at a few that are very similar. OK, there are actually SIXTEEN images that are almost identical. Another quick pass got me down to eight. In some cases, I compared two taken just seconds apart and chose one. But let’s keep going. My goal is to get it down to three.

I did it! Out of 34 images, these are the 3 that I toned and cropped. I also put them in a folder labeled “March 2017,” which is nested inside a folder labeled 2017, which is nested inside a folder labeled “Pictures.”

It really is that simple.

And now that I’ve chosen my three pictures, I can share them with friends and family and even print them! Gasp, did I say print?! Yes, please print your pictures. Put them in an album, hang them around the house, or get a new shoebox and fill it with photos so your kids can look through images of themselves. They will love it!

See, photo organization isn’t so hard, is it? Only 100,000 more photos to go!

There Is a Place for Winter :: 3 Unexpected Gifts from the Coldest Season

Shannon Gibson

February 21, 2020

Winter seems to be one of those seasons that you either love or hate, and there is not much gray area in between. Growing up in the South, I thought I liked mild winters, because it’s all I had ever known. However, New England winters have taught me otherwise.

Admittedly, I was intimidated to face our first “real winter.” Much of my trepidation came from feeling completely uneducated on things like what to bundle my kids in, how to shovel our way out of our home, and what in the world it meant to winterize my car. Once we figured out these details, I settled in, and, much to my surprise, discovered that I could enjoy winter.

Winter in the Northeast has brought three very special, unexpected gifts to our lives. The Danish have a more extensive list of ways to chase off the wintertime blues — hygge. The list below has kept our family content during the coldest season of the year.

Rest

Spring, summer, and fall seem to keep everyone busy with festivals, orchards, and outdoor experiences. Counter to that, winter provides the perfect backdrop to rest. Without as many places to be, inside play on cold days provides an opportunity to bond over puzzles, games, toys, crafts, and indoor picnics with your family. You are granted permission to snuggle up on the couch in your coziest blanket with hot chocolate and take in football and hockey games or movies with your loved ones. Go ahead and spend your snowed-in Saturday in pajamas. Bake cookies and have dance parties that will make memories for a lifetime.

There will be plenty of time to make plans and maintain a busy schedule the rest of the year. Stop and be still in this perfect season for rest.

Beauty

There is no denying it: New England winters are gorgeous. At times, it can feel like living in a snow globe. Our family has come to love stepping out onto nearby trails to take in the wonder of this season. Icy nature walks reveal beautiful early sunsets along with frozen lakes and even spectacular baby pinecones. Soft snow rests on tree branches that would otherwise be leafless and dull.

I am convinced I will always be giddy watching snowflakes fall, no matter how long I live in the Northeast. I steal as many peeks out the window to watch the soft flakes turn our world a bright white, and after the kids are in bed, I sit in my chair by the window and cannot pull myself away from watching playful flurries drop.

Even if you have lived in Boston your whole life, never take the beauty of snow for granted!

Adventure

One particularly chilly winter day, I bundled my daughter up and took her to the park for some fresh air. The park we chose was on the shores of a frozen pond. As we looked out onto the pond, we saw families ice fishing, playing hockey, and figure skating. It was something I had never seen before, given my warm climate upbringing. My daughter excitedly asked if we could walk onto the ice. At first I panicked, because I had never walked onto frozen freshwater. I decided that with this much activity on the ice, it must be safe, so I agreed. We only stepped a foot out onto the frozen water, but it was exhilarating! We both laughed as we slipped along holding hands.

This cold season allows for fun, icy happenings, as well as skiing, sledding, and a number of other winter sports. What will your next adventure be?

It is easy to get frustrated with the negatives of winter — cabin fever, all the effort it takes to layer your kids up to go outside, digging your car out of snowbanks just to leave the house. Like all the seasons, winter is fleeting. Enjoy the gifts it offers us while it is present. Despite my skepticism of this frosty season, I have come to realize that there is a place for winter.

You Might Be A Good Mom If…

Deborah Anderson

February 20, 2020

Some days I wake up ready to dominate the day: Healthy homemade food prepped for my littles? Check! Limited screen time and lots of books instead? Check! Crafts and playing with my children? Check! Creating memories filled with lots of laughs and cuddles makes me elated and leaves me feeling like a true boss mom.

Other days I wake up slowly and a bit begrudgingly. Why are my littles up so early, anyway?! I feel tired from making all those homemade meals and coordinating all those outside playdates and trips to the library. I’m worn down from remembering every detail and appointment for our family and ensuring I can understand and translate for my son who’s still working on his speech. It’s on these days that I place one foot in front of the other to make it through the day — and I really begin to question my mothering. With the Lunchables and frozen food, and too much TV and not enough engagement from me, I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’m not enough.

It’s the hard days where I really begin to question my qualifications to be a good mom. In my mind all my worry spills out and turns into a negative track: memories of times I believe I’ve failed as a mother, worry about future situations in which I won’t know what to do. I judge myself for not loving every minute of being with my kids. I judge myself for not being more ambitious with my own interests and career. I worry my house will never be Instagram ready, my crafts will never be Pinterest proofed. There’s so much to keep up with as a modern-day mother, but at the end of the day, isn’t it supposed to be about loving for and caring for our children?

I’ve been trying to challenge my own thought process recently, to accept that I can’t possibly accomplish everything in a single day. I read once that children don’t need to be told what is important to their parents — they observe it every day. It’s helped me to realize that the pile of laundry on my sofa can wait, but the baby who wants to rest in my arms can’t. A recent hiatus from my phone also helped me to prioritize playing with my children instead of using my phone. I’ve come to realize it doesn’t take much to be a good mom. Simply being present for my children when I am able is my new top priority, and with that, I’ve let some things go.

The same is true for you — I promise:

You might be a good mom if…

You wake up every day with your children and get them dressed for the day (bonus point for outfit coordination and matching socks).

You feed your children meals — bottle or breast, frozen or fresh!

You spent all day at home with them or spent the day at work providing for them.

You shop the latest trends in clothing and toys or use hand-me-downs and shop secondhand.

You observe other parenting techniques and try to use them with your kids or accept that other techniques aren’t for you (and resist the temptation to judge).

You are content being at home with your children without any side hustle or are thankful for the job that gives you an identity outside of your home.

You’ve accepted your new role as a 24/7 caregiver but find yourself daydreaming about your independent life before kids or what will come after they’ve grown.

You enjoy little moments cuddling your baby or playing with your child and are able to look away from the laundry pile awaiting you.

You watch the clock like a hawk waiting for bedtime only to watch their angelic faces while they sleep because you love them so.

You recognize the blessing that being a mother truly is while also acknowledging the challenges it brings.

You are the number one team mom or despise being on the sidelines of sports games but go anyway.

You pack homemade lunches with notes or dutifully send money for school lunch.

At the end of the day, you’re a good mom if you love your children and you try your best. I read in one of my favorite parenting books, “Simplicity Parenting,” that children never need to be told what is important to a family, they live it. So live out what you want your children to remember you as, and forget about the rest. After all, you’re already doing a great job!

We Broke the Rules

Morgan Sheena

February 19, 2020

Tonight, we broke the rules.

It had to be done to save my sanity. And the world didn’t end.

The rule is no TV on school days. It’s not up for debate. But tonight, it all felt like too much. After homework was done and dinner was cleaned up, the TV went on. So a half-hour of a movie bought me a little bit of time to breathe and get centered again.

The rule is fruits or veggies for snacks. But they were arguing with me, and the cold I’m fighting just won’t quit. So I said yes to other snacks. There was cheese. Or chips. I don’t even know. But they were happy, and it gave me a little bit of time to clear my head. And it was all OK.

The rule is we shower or bathe. And tonight, the thought of doing it alone for the three little kids while my husband was out of town and the two dogs begged for attention and the house was a mess seemed like it was more trouble than it was worth. So the older one showered himself and the younger two did not get a shower. I minded; they didn’t so much.

The rule is we all help clean up before heading to bed. But the chaos of three children with big personalities was too much, and the clean-up didn’t happen. So I did it after they went to bed. And breaking this rule was somehow easier.

The rule is we snuggle every night before bed. And that is one rule that will not be broken, no matter how hard it all seems.

What I Learned in the First 100 Days of Kindergarten

Lindsay Goldberg

February 18, 2020

We just passed the 100th day of kindergarten.

And I’ve just started to notice talk on my local Facebook groups amongst moms who are anxious and perplexed about the registration process and next steps. I can’t believe that was me only a year ago.

I remember getting that first letter from the public school asking about our enrollment plans. I remember staring at it with equal parts excitement and confusion. “She’s my baby! How on earth could she be going to kindergarten?” I wondered. At the same time, I knew she had been ready for this for quite a while.

It all seemed so overwhelming. And impossible. And I didn’t even know the half of it.

A year ago, I had no idea. I heard people talk about how kindergarten was a whole new world and brought about so many new changes. I heard it. But I didn’t truly believe it. I figured that since my daughter had been in full-day care since she was 3 months old, the transition wouldn’t be so drastic for her. Or for me.

Here’s what I learned in the first 100 days of kindergarten.

1. The first few months are tough. (But it gets better.)

My daughter is now required to sit for longer than she ever has, she’s experiencing the highest student-to-teacher ratio of her life, and she is learning how to socially, academically, and physically navigate herself in a new space. For the first few months, she used everything in her to keep herself together all day. And she melted down every night. She cried if I asked what she wanted for snack, she insisted she wasn’t tired, and she would be upset about something that happened in gym class but she wouldn’t tell me. It was as if a demon possessed her. And I rolled with it. And, one day, that demon left.

2. Kindergarten inspires a huge increase in independence.

Some of the changes were subtle — she would insist on getting and washing her own apple, or she would want to go into the bathroom stall alone. Last week, she used an adult knife to chop a zucchini. Some of the changes made my heart skip a beat — like when she bounced out of the car at drop off, barely turning around to say goodbye, leaving me to wonder how on earth she would find her way to her classroom (she did). These kindergartners really are big kids. During these first 100 days of kindergarten I’ve learned that my daughter can take on more responsibility than I would think. In turn, I have given her more responsibility, which has instilled further pride in her and has truly helped me as well.

3. If you want to know how your child is doing, you need to ask the teacher.

Gone are the days where you know every morsel of food that goes in your child’s mouth or when they poop or pee. In kindergarten, the teacher will communicate general information through newsletters. And you will speak to them at parent-teacher conferences a couple of times a year. Otherwise, no news is good news. Earlier in the year, I was curious about a few things and emailed the teacher. She was super receptive and happy I reached out. I felt better and gained a pulse on how my daughter was doing and how certain things were being taught. I then had even more confidence in her teacher and in my ability to support her learning at home.

4. Your child is her own person and has a life you are not part of.

This has been the hardest one for me to handle emotionally, and I know it will only get worse (better?). In the past, I would see my daughter’s daycare or preschool classmates and chat with them and their parents at drop off and pick up. Or if my daughter was getting together with a friend, it would be something I set up with a friend of mine. Now, my daughter has friends I have never met. And she is asking for play dates at friends’ houses with parents I have never met. I am figuring out my comfort level and how to negotiate all this. And, if I’m being perfectly honest, although I love watching her grow socially and emotionally, I’m starting to miss my daughter.

A year ago, filling out those kindergarten forms seemed like the most daunting task in the world. Little did I know registration was the easy part! Even with the tough changes we’ve felt in the first 100 days of kindergarten, I am so excited to already have experienced all the positive ways she’s growing and discovering and becoming. And, yes, parenting is a series of letting-go moments, but I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Honoring Black History Month as a White Mom

Katie McKiernan

February 17, 2020

Black History Month - Martin Luther King Jr - Boston Moms

I reached adulthood without learning the skills to productively discuss race. I find it a source of embarrassment. Now, more than a decade into my adult life, I am still deep in the process of doing the work required to be a person who can discuss race openly and honestly.

I do not want to raise children who walk into their first job without an awareness of redlining or cultural appropriation or who think that the way they have always done things as a white person is the way other people should be doing them as well.

In the past, my implicit bias has caused me to make hurtful assumptions and comments. While I am not proud of those moments, if I can’t be honest with my children about the lessons those situations taught me, I will be setting them up to repeat the same mistakes.

This year, I plan to honor Black History Month with my toddler and preschooler. When they are older, I hope I can take advantage of the programming at the Mary Baker Eddy library (ages 5+) in Boston or a storytelling event at the JFK Library (ages 5+). But since I haven’t found programming geared to the preschool set, we will celebrate on our own in simple ways.

We’ll read books by black authors and/or with black protagonists.

While we will seek out stories that honor black heroes, I also want to read books that feature daily routines with children and families who look different from ours.

Some of our favorites are “Trombone Shorty“ by Troy Andrews and “The Snowy Day“ by Ezra Jack Keats.

If you are looking for more, check out these curated lists:

Family Education’s Top 15 Children’s Books for Black History Month
Reading Rocket’s Black History Month celebration guide

We’ll talk. A lot.

My 3-year-old is asking a lot of questions about how the world works, and questions about race aren’t far off. When he asks questions, I hope to give him honest answers about how race has been defined in our country. Though I hope not to make more mistakes discussing race, I am certain I will. I want him to see me respond to those mistakes with a growth mindset rather than shame. He, too, will make mistakes, and I need him to know that conversation is an opportunity for learning.

Moms, what other tips do you have to celebrate Black History Month? I’d love to learn more.

Love Is…

Sarah Casimiro

February 14, 2020

When my parents were newlyweds, they used to collect and exchange a comic that was popular at the time. It generally featured two naked, childlike characters — a short and stubby man and his short and stubby lady. The fact that they were naked was in no way sexual but completely innocent and adorable, with little more than their belly buttons depicted.

These cartoons were typically one panel in length and shared sentiments like “Love is… being loved back,” or “Love is… when every morning brings another day with you,” or “Love is… where you want to be.” I remember finding scraps of newspaper with the cartoons on them and falling in love with the little couple falling in love with each other.

This morning, before my alarm sounded, I was snuggling in bed with my 3-year-old and my husband, missing our 1-year-old who slept peacefully in her crib down the hall. The thought crossed my mind:

This is what love is.

And so, here are my updated, parenthood-style sentiments, inspired by the Love is… comics of the 1970s, originally penned by Kim Casali and Bill Asprey.

Love is…

watching every episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Puppy Dog Pals, and Vampirina, only to follow it up with Mickey Mouse’s Once Upon a Christmas… in May.

Love is…

making two dinners, one for my husband and me, and one for my girls.

Love is…

putting down a stack of tests that need grading in order to play Barbies, or dress up, or have a dance party.

Love is…

coordinating outfits… for the whole family!

Love is…

picking a kid-friendly restaurant on a Friday night instead of trying that hot new place that just opened up.

Love is…

baby belly laughs.

Love is…

“Mama” and “Dada” in the sweetest little voices you’ve ever heard.

Love is…

having more pictures of your babies than yourself on social media.

Love is…

watching my babies learn new things, and celebrating with them like they just won the Superbowl.

Love is…

cuddling in a king-sized bed with two toddlers, a cat, and a dog between my husband and me.

What is your Love is…?

There’s a Holiday for That :: Silly Holidays to Celebrate in 2020

Deanna Greenstein

February 12, 2020

My oldest son’s birthday is February 1. With much excitement, he informed me that National Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day fell on his birthday this year, and we simply must celebrate.

After dutifully obliging to this request, I began to wonder what other fantastic holidays I may be missing out on due to not knowing that such days even exist. I am sad to say I missed out on January 3’s crazy holiday offerings, though I am marking my 2021 calendar now so I won’t forget to take part in 2021’s Fruitcake Toss Day and the Festival of Sleep. I will also be sure to celebrate Penguin Awareness Day on January 20, and Squirrel Appreciation Day on January 21.

I promise not to celebrate Work Naked Day on February 7. (You’re welcome.)

The rest of 2020 will be a celebration of goofy holidays:

February 16 :: Do a Grouch a Favor Day.

(If I do you a favor on this day, well… sorry.)

February 17 :: Random Act of Kindness Day

February 23 :: International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

(I will not be personally celebrating, but my pooch has been looking forward to this holiday her entire life.)

February 28 :: Public Sleeping Day

March 5 :: Learn What Your Name Means Day

March 15 :: Everything You Think Is Wrong Day

(My teenager celebrates this holiday every day. His celebrations include copious amounts of eye rolling.)

March 16 :: Everything You Do Is Right Day

(Take that, teenage kid.)

March 26 :: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

April 12 :: Grilled Cheese Day

April 16 :: Wear Pajamas to Work Day

April 22 :: Jelly Bean Day

May 1 :: Batman Day

(Also May 1 :: No Pants Day. Not celebrating. You’re welcome. Again.)

May 4 :: Star Wars Day

May 6 :: National School Nurse Day

(We should celebrate school nurses all year round. I hear hand sanitizer is a good gift.)

May 9 :: Lost Sock Memorial Day

A somber holiday in which we crowd around the dryer and wonder where those missing in action have gone.

May 14 :: Dance Like a Chicken Day

May 20 :: Be a Millionaire Day

(Anyone want to help me celebrate this one? Bueller?)

June 19 :: Sauntering Day

July 2 :: I Forgot Day

July 4 :: Sidewalk Egg Frying Day

July 31 :: Uncommon Musical Instrument Day

August 24 :: Pluto Demoted Day

Poor Pluto.

September 4 :: Eat an Extra Dessert Day

September 16 :: Collect Rocks Day

September 24 :: Punctuation Day (!!!!)

October 1 :: International Coffee Day

I celebrate this one year round.

October 4 :: Taco Day

October 17 :: Wear Something Gaudy Day

October 21 :: Count Your Buttons Day

November 15 :: Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

I don’t want to celebrate this one.

December 4 :: Wear Brown Shoes Day

December 8 :: Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day

December 27 :: No Interruptions Day

Can someone please tell my kids about this one? Preferably to be celebrated while I am in the shower or working from home?

There are no less than 400 fantastic “holidays” occurring this year. Happy celebrating!

Using Books to Teach Our Kids About Diversity

Angie V Martin

February 11, 2020

Also commonly known as Black History Month, “National African American History Month in February celebrates the contributions that African Americans have made to American history in their struggles for freedom and equality and deepens our understanding of our Nation’s history.”

Monthly celebrations like this are a great opportunity to introduce young children to history and diversity in ways that are easy to grasp.

Books can be a helpful resource and support to teach kids a variety of themes, from feelings and emotions to relevant social experiences and even history, especially when we feel like we may need some extra support or creativity to really drive the concept in.

When it comes to Black History Month, we have a built-in theme to focus all our reading time on and help our little ones gain at least a basic understanding around the fight for civil rights and the incredible individuals who have struggled and sacrificed in the name of freedom.

Where to start? Your local library! You can usually find a nice variety of titles in the children’s section of the library. If there is a book you have heard of and are interested in getting but your library does not have it, make sure to check with your librarian as they may be able to get it on loan from another library.

And do not worry if you are not as well versed as you would like to be. You will get to learn from the books as you read with your children, and perhaps it will be a motivator to educate yourself a lot more as well. Your children may ask you questions you are not sure how to answer, and this is a great opportunity for you to be honest and tell them you are learning too. Perhaps you will be able to find the answer together!

One of our family’s favorite series for learning about history and diversity is Brad Meltzer’s Ordinary People Change the World books. During Black History Month, you can start with “I Am Martin Luther King, Jr.,” “I Am Harriett Tubman,” and “I Am Rosa Parks.”

Happy reading!

I Am Super Anxious About February Vacation Week, But I’ve Got a Plan

Leah Lynch

February 10, 2020

February vacation week is upon us in Massachusetts, and I am stressing out about it.

Winter break in December was brutal. I am a stay-at-home mom of three kids, ages 8, 5, and 2. My kids are at that tough age where the older ones are not completely independent in public spaces and the toddler is, well, a toddler. Also, being outnumbered at three to one can cause some safety issues for us as well. My oldest son is on the autism spectrum and is very unpredictable. So as much as I would love to take my three kids to a museum or aquarium during the February break, I am unable to make that safely happen without the help of a second adult. Honestly, even with a second adult I am not sure my kids, or I, could handle the crowds that accompany the vacation week.

So what am I going to do? Well, for the winter break in December I basically let my kids have way too much screen time, and I struggled to break up the endless fighting that occurred between them. I was overwhelmed, stressed, and had crippling “mom guilt” over their lack of activities. I was short-tempered and snapping at them when the exhaustion and frustration boiled over. I felt isolated, distant, and emotional for almost two weeks. And that took its toll.

I can’t let this happen again.

So I am planning ahead and asking for help from family and friends. Here are a few things I am planning to survive February vacation.

My 5-year-old daughter will do a couple of camp days at our local YMCA. These camps have flexible schedules and are inexpensive and fun.

I will set up play dates in advance. Especially for my daughter — she has a huge imagination and is constantly asking for me to play or interact with her. Simple solution is for her to have a friend come over. Odds are that her friends’ parents need a break from their kid too. It’s a win-win.

We will visit grandparents. Luckily for us our kids grandparents all live locally. So we will pop over and visit for breakfast or lunch. Then I can run some local errands kid-free, which is one of the greatest joys of my life.

If the weather is above 40 degrees, we will go to a playground. I will admit this makes me nervous. I very much dislike being out in the cold weather myself. But I know even a half-hour of fresh air and sunshine could change our whole day. I figure we can drive through Dunks and get hot chocolate and donuts after.

With a little planning ahead, I CAN make this staycation for myself and my kids much more enjoyable. Let’s all get out there and make the most of February vacation week!

Sharing the Love :: Valentines for Those in Need

Katie Biddle

February 7, 2020

The store shelves are filled with pink hearts and boxed chocolates. Ready or not, Valentine’s Day is a week away! (Take it from a former elementary teacher… you think there is so much time to get your kids’ valentines organized. But throw in a surprise snowstorm or stomach bug, and you’re frantically digging through the half-empty Target shelves on February 12 for 26 appropriate valentines.) Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that everyone handles differently, and that is totally fine.

My husband and I like to think of Valentine’s Day as a chance to share love with people in our community who may need to be reminded that they are loved and cared about.

Now keep in mind, we have a toddler who isn’t in school yet, so we are able to celebrate Valentine’s Day this way. If your kids are school-aged and you already have 75+ cards to oversee, this may not be the year to add more to your plate. However, if your kids are younger, don’t want to make cards for school this year, or are old enough to take some initiative, here are some ideas for spreading the love beyond your family into the community.

Sick/injured patients

Boston is known for world-renowned medical care… so there are plenty of hospitals. Of course, hospitals may have restrictions about cards coming in from the outside, so it’s best to check with a hospital near you to see if they accept cards for patients (or staff!). Boston Children’s Hospital usually has a program where you can send virtual valentines to patients. It’s quick, easy, and free (you will have an option to add a monetary donation, and you will get future fundraising emails).

Elderly

Valentine’s Day can be a difficult time for the elderly, especially those who have recently lost a spouse after 50+ years of marriage. Boston has many city-run senior centers, but there is also a comprehensive list of contact information for senior centers in the greater Boston area. All it takes is a phone call to the center nearest you to see if they have anything planned for Valentine’s Day or if they would accept Valentine’s cards (or other donated items).

Veterans/active-duty military

This one requires a little more advanced planning since the deadlines are often well before Valentine’s Day — so this may go under the “file away for next year” category. Hugs for Soldiers is a program that distributes valentines to deployed service members. Valentine’s for Veterans accepts cards up through Valentine’s Day (since these are sent to both deployed soldiers and domestic veterans’ organizations). If you would rather honor nearby veterans, you can contact one of the VA medical centers in the Boston area to find out if they are willing to accept and distribute valentines.

Homeless

Unfortunately, stable housing continues to be a struggle in the greater Boston area. There are a number of homeless shelters in the city of Boston that are in need of donations all year, not just on a particular holiday. Check out the donation wish lists for Boston Rescue Mission, Pine Street Inn, St. Francis House, and Rosie’s Place. For the cost of roses, candy, and a fancy dinner, your family could easily put together a package of toiletries, shelf-stable food, socks, etc. to share love with those most in need.

Neighbors

Of course you can partner with a local or national organization to send valentine wishes to those in need, but sometimes it can be as simple as looking in your own neighborhood. If there is someone who lives alone, send your kids over with cards and flowers. You can make simple treat bags for several neighbors — never underestimate the power of baked goods and a handmade card from a child to brighten someone’s day, regardless of age or relationship status.

However you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, know that you are cherished and loved! And if you have any other ideas for sharing the love with those in need, feel free to comment below.