Exercising While Pregnant: The Benefits You Never Knew (Part 2)

By

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July 25, 2015

I started CrossFitting five months before I became pregnant with my daughter. It never once crossed my mind to stop exercising, and with the blessing of my midwives, my coaches, and the powers that be on the internets, I continued to work out four or five times a week. When I was about five months pregnant, I was told by a peer I needed to stop exercising if I wanted to have a healthy baby, and that she could give me “dozens” of stories of women who exercised while pregnant and ended up having babies with massive deformities, including missing limbs. I went home that night and cried. Had I been selfish in thinking I could continue exercising? Had I damaged my baby by continuing to CrossFit (albeit modified to accommodate my changing body)?

It should come as no surprise that not only was my coworker out of line to make such comments, her reprimand was completely unfounded and downright ridiculous. Once I calmed down and began to think things through a bit more (I am an historian by training, so I always think in historical context), I remembered that women have technically exercised while pregnant for centuries. The majority of women have experienced physically demanding work in fields, gardens, and homes. When pregnancy happened, a woman didn’t sit on a couch, eating ice cream and watching Netflix. Yet so many women today are afraid to exercise while pregnant for fear that it will hurt the unborn baby, and despite research to the contrary, the myth that a woman should not be physically active while pregnant still exists. Many women are told not to get their heart rates up, strength training is foolish, any signs of trouble mean you have to stop exercising, and if you’ve never exercised before, pregnancy is not the time to start. I’ve already written about some of the benefits women experience when they continue to exercise while pregnant, but what about the unborn child? The previous schools of thought believed babies were passive participants during physical maternal activity. Now we know that when a mother works out, her unborn baby gets a workout too! Here are some benefits a baby enjoys when his or her mother exercises during pregnancy:

1. Better brain development

According to a study completed at the University of Montreal, pregnant women who kept to an exercise regime throughout their pregnancy had babies whose brains were more fully developed in the first week or two of life. It didn’t take much exercise — researchers found that as little as 20 minutes of physical activity three times a week can advance a newborn’s brain activity.

2. Stronger hearts

A study recently published in “Experimental Physiology” showed that babies born to mothers who exercised while pregnant develop more “resilient and efficient” arteries, which leads to stronger hearts. This means vulnerability to heart disease or other cardiovascular diseases throughout the child’s life may be reduced. Another study out of North Carolina found that in utero, babies with mothers who exercised had lower and more varied heart rates, another indication of a healthy heart. Bottom line? If you exercise while pregnant, it could benefit your child’s heart for the rest of his or her life. As heart disease is the leading cause of death in America, the exercise you do now could reduce your child’s chance of a heart attack in the future.

3. Lower body fat

Babies born to mothers who exercised while pregnant tend to have lower body fat and weigh less than babies born to mothers who didn’t, according to a study in the “Journal of Pediatrics.” This is a great first step to combatting the child obesity epidemic that’s currently plaguing American children — approximately 20 percent of America’s youth are obese.

4. Other benefits

Researchers at the University of Adelaide in Australia found that women who eat a healthy diet and exercise while pregnant had shorter hospital stays, and their babies had a lower chance of developing infant respiratory distress syndrome, a condition in which fluid fills in the lung’s air sacs.
A study from the University of Virginia found that exercise during pregnancy could reduce an unborn child’s chance of developing diabetes, schizophrenia, and a range of other diseases later in life.
According to the “Journal of Pediatrics,” women who exercised while pregnant had children who performed better on intelligence tests than children of non-exercising mothers, and they had stronger oral language skills than their peers.

It’s time to throw the myth out the window and embrace physical activity while pregnant.

When you exercise while pregnant, make sure you use common sense. I always make sure I eat protein before and after a workout, I have plenty of water with me while I work out, and I am aware of my breathing as I exercise. And most importantly, I listen to my body.

If something doesn’t feel right, stop and call your OB or midwife. Chances are, you’ll be able to continue some form of physical activity, even if it has to be modified. Talk to a certified trainer who can help you make exercise accommodations for your changing body. If you’ve never exercised before pregnancy, don’t dismay — you can still work out while pregnant, and you and your unborn baby can still reap these benefits. While it might not be the time to train for a marathon or start a boot camp regime, walking, swimming, and prenatal yoga are all excellent exercises that you can start at any time, regardless of your level of fitness before pregnancy. And it doesn’t take much; even walking for 30 minutes five times a week brings incredible advantages to both mother and baby. While it’s important to discuss your exercise routine with your OB or midwife, it’s time to put on your sneakers and put your unborn baby’s health first.

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing Minimal Interventions During Childbirth

By

Amy Deutsch

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July 24, 2015

Maybe he doesn't like epidurals either. — Maybe he doesn’t like epidurals either.

Whenever I’m asked about my son’s birth, I preface the story with, “I’m crazy, but…” It’s as if I want to soften the blow of what I did that day. I was to be induced, with Cytotec and Pitocin, and I didn’t get an epidural. Pitocin-induced contractions are significantly more intense than drug-free ones. To many women, being induced without an epidural is just too much. Or a little bit crazy. Or downright insane.

But it was just what I wanted to do.

So here we go — I’m finally going to say it. Ready? Here it is: I am anti-epidural. But let me be clear — I’m anti-epidural for me. Not for you, mamas of Boston. It’s your body, your choice. For me, epidurals were not the way.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was determined to have a non-medicated childbirth. My mom had done it that way, and I’d always been curious about whether I could do it too. And I’ve never been big on taking drugs unless it’s absolutely necessary. I really wanted to find my inner warrior mama and make it through without the epidural. And I did. Through 35 hours of labor, no less. I felt strong and incredible, like I could do anything. (Also, exhausted. Did I mention that one?)

The next day, in the hospital, I went to a breastfeeding class. My baby was sucking so hard that I was in a lot of pain, and I wasn’t sure if I had the correct latch. It seemed that my problem was unique; everyone else in the room had a different issue — their babies wouldn’t rouse enough to suck for very long. The lactation consultant asked everyone to raise her hand if she did not have an epidural. Only one other woman raised her hand with me. “That’s your answer,” explained the consultant. “Their babies aren’t awake yet — the drugs have to wear off.” It really made me think about what I wanted for my children.

When I was pregnant with my second child, I once again was determined to go drug-free. (And even more so because of a few horror stories I’d heard of epidurals that went wrong, with post-birth side effects that included daily migraine-level headaches that needed to be treated with heavy painkillers for months after!) But at my 41-week appointment, I was diagnosed with too much amniotic fluid and was told I had to be induced that evening (look up polyhydramnios if you want to know the potential dangers). I burst into tears in the office, certain that the perfect birth I’d dreamed of was out the window. Induction means heavy drugs, like Cervidil and Pitocin, and I only knew one woman who’d made it through an epidural-free childbirth with Pitocin-induced contractions. Only one.

But that one woman’s story was my beacon in the darkness. I knew she had done it, so it could be done. If it could be done, then I could do it. And I did it. It was awful and painful, but it was so much what I wanted to do. (Supposedly, I started talking about the possibility of getting an epidural somewhere in the middle of that whole thing, but a few minutes later it was time to push.)

And let me tell you, after that child was born? I felt like I could do anything. And it’s been my mantra ever since. Getting a flu shot? I can do this — I made it through Pitocin-induced contractions without the epidural! Getting blood drawn? I can do it — Pitocin with no epidural, that’s me! A 30-day eating challenge without any sugar? I made it through epidural-free childbirth, this is nothing! (Actually, it was really freaking hard, but I did it.)

Giving birth without an epidural made me feel strong and fierce. Even now, six and three years later, respectively, I haven’t lost the power of that feeling. But that’s what worked for me. In no way, shape, or form were either of my births perfect or easy, and I do not hold them up as if they are what all births should be. Put simply, they were just MY births. And experiencing them without an epidural worked for me. (Let me once again reiterate: It doesn’t work for everyone, nor is it the right thing for everyone. And I firmly believe that the best thing in childbirth is to do what the mama and doctor/midwife say is best.)

Yet, as strongly as I feel about epidurals, if I were to have another baby, I wouldn’t completely rule it out. I think birth — and life, for that matter — are about being open to possibility. Sometimes that possibility works out perfectly. Sometimes it works out to be really crappy. It’s how we react to life’s surprises that makes us who we are.

Eventually, the details and memories of our birth stories fade; they are less about defining who you are and more about defining who your child is. Like so much of motherhood, it is no longer about us. We celebrate the birthdays of our children, not the day we gave birth to them. And that’s perfectly OK. In fact, it’s how it should be.

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing a C-Section

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing an Epidural

Parenting Perspectives: An Ode to My Midwife

Why I’d Like to Be 4 Instead of Almost 40

By

Katrina McCarty

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July 23, 2015

I’ve started to notice there are days I wish I was 4 instead of closing in on 40. I didn’t feel this way when my daughter was an infant or even a toddler.

Maybe it’s happening now because her personality is shining through more and more each day. Maybe it’s happening now because she is forging some independence. Or maybe it’s happening now because of where I am in life. My daughter may not feel like she has the advantage, choice, or power, but there is a certain freedom in being 4.

Here is why I wish I was 4…

10. I could let myself feel what I feel

The rise and fall of raw emotion is part of development, and at 4 there is no pre-frontal cortex to regulate it. There is not as much societal incentive or pressure to manage it. Getting the feelings out — happy, sad, mad, or frustrated — would be freeing.

9. I could say “no thank you” guilt-free

Maybe it’s “no” to more peas at dinner or “no” to a hug if you don’t feel like it. Sure, on the flip side, all the “no” can be frustrating. But knowing it comes from a place of just deciding without outside pressure is quite amazing.

8. I could wear what I want, all the time

OK, of course I choose what to wear and I buy all my own clothes, but that isn’t the same as standing at my drawer and saying YES to a superman shirt, train underwear, and flamingo pants. I know I could decide to just buck the workplace or social norms, but let’s face it — I won’t. My girl chooses what she likes and runs with it, and I love empowering her to do that for as long as I can.

7. I could laugh with my soul

I do this at times when we play and act goofy together. Or when out with friends. But, I wish I did it more often, letting the joy truly soak in.

6. I could cry with my soul

My daughter is much freer with her emotions than I am. Her emotions come with more intensity. Giving over to them when they come and not saving them for a safe place would be a relief. The grocery store meltdown is rough when you’re in it, but how many times have I wanted to burst out in tears, sadness, anger or frustration just because I’m having that sort of a day? Many.

5. I could be friends with everyone

My daughter calls everyone a friend and she plays with everyone. Sure, she has some favorites, but overall she’s not concerned with more than whether they like cars or trains or can run and be silly. I don’t always have the courage to find new friends, and I hope my daughter holds on to that as long as she can.

4. I could play all. the. time.

When it’s your job to play, create, imagine, and grow, life is good. We could all remember to hold onto that.

3. I could get 11-plus hours of sleep.

Yup, I would love more sleep. A nap? Sign me up. Bedtime at 7:30? I’m there.

2. So much cool stuff for little people!

There are so many things that would be so cool to have — frog boots, a ladybug suitcase, to fit comfortably in my bath tub without my feet getting cold. Maybe I could go on Amazon or Etsy to buy, or gather my crafty skills and make something, but the fun toys, clothes, and stuff for the little set is just awesome.

Partial victory… I do own a Batman shirt.

1. Unconditional love.

In its truest form, I see this in my love for her and her love for me and her Dad. I experience unconditional love with family and friends in different ways, but the older I get I think I lose some of its magic and power.

Wouldn’t you love to be a kid again? Even for just a day?

Getting Your Toddler (and Yourself) Ready for Day Care

By

Matina Fell

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July 22, 2015

I’ve been lucky. I mean really lucky. Blessed, really. To date, I haven’t paid a single cent for child care.

My mom and mother-in-law have taken care of my daughter, P, since she was four months old and I went back to work full time. And for that, I am forever thankful. But I always knew the day would come when I’d want P to go to day care a few days a week. She is such a social kid. She loves play dates, sing-alongs, story times, and simply hanging with other toddlers at the park.

What I didn’t know was how challenging it would be to find the perfect day care, and then, more importantly, transition to said day care. Things were tough on me, although I’m sure my little one was also stressed that her routine was shaken up. Here are some tips that will hopefully help others in a similar situation.

Start early

In Arlington, where I live, the day care scene is very competitive. I toured literally every center in town and was told the wait list was over a year for all of them. Um, what? Thank goodness I’m a planner by nature and wasn’t in a rush to get her in. It took almost 13 months to get into our top choice, Another Place to Grow. (If you’re looking in or near Arlington, I highly recommend it.)

Visit often

Take a tour, meet with the director, chat with the teachers, observe the classrooms. You can tell a lot about a day care in a 20-minute visit. Once we decided on a place, we brought P there four times. During the first two visits I stayed with her and tried to hang in the background. The second two times I stayed for 10 minutes and then left. And yes, I wore my sunglasses out of the center to hide my tears (and unsuccessfully tried to blame them on allergies).

Bring comfort items

P has a baby doll she naps with and sleeps with overnight. Sometimes she’ll hug it when she’s upset, and it works like a charm. During all of her pre-visits, I brought a bag with diapers, her favorite book, and, of course, her baby. When she got upset after I left, the teachers would bring out her baby and it would comfort her. I’ve also heard of some people leaving pictures of the family, special blankies, and toys — anything to help with the transition.

Keep the goodbyes short and sweet

I knew if I made a big deal out of the fact that I was leaving, P would immediately get suspicious and most likely upset. So I would matter of factly say, “Mama is leaving now. You’ll stay here and play with your teachers and friends. I will be back in an hour to pick you up. Love you!” And then I would kiss her and walk out. Trust me, I wanted to swoop her up and wail into her arms, but I knew I had to keep my cool.

Feel free to cry in the car

Yes, it might seem silly, but starting day care for me meant my girl was growing up. She was in school now! She had teachers and friends and a schedule — and a lunch box, for crying out loud! I was thrilled, but it was bittersweet. After every drop off, I would hang in my car, blast the AC, cry for a good three minutes, and then be on my way. The first few drop offs were tough (for both of us), but with every one, things got easier (again, for both of us).

What are some of your tips for transitioning your toddler (and yourself) to day care?

Favorite Parenting Books

By

Alexandra Etscovitz

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July 21, 2015

I am a reader. I love learning about other people’s perspectives on the world. So when I became a mom, it was almost like I was doing a book report on sleep, feeding, and all other things related to taking care of the babe. After reading quite a few parenting books, it became clear to me that you can find a book on any topic to support any idea in the parenting world. This was not helpful! I quickly learned I needed to trust my own gut and go with my heart on most parenting choices. However, there were some books that were wonderful and really helped me find my way in this absurdly bountiful landscape of parenting advice. Here are some of my favorite picks:

The Blessing of A Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel: I read this book in graduate school for education and just loved it. It’s all about taking the traits of your child that challenge you and shifting the lens so you see those challenges as strengths, not weaknesses. The favorite quote I think of often is to teach your child to “keep two pieces of paper in your pockets at all times. On one write, ‘I am a speck of dust.’ On the other, ‘The world was created for me.’” While Mogel’s lens is parenting through Jewish teachings, her message is for all.

Too Many Cooks by Emily Franklin: Foodies, grab this one! If you are a cook, this book will inspire you. If you’re not comfortable in the kitchen, this book might get you cooking immediately! Each chapter includes stories about Franklin’s four kids and her culinary journey with them. The book includes 102 recipes to try.

The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary: This book is intense but beautiful. Dr. Tsabary helps parents realize that our children are here to teach us. We must honor them for who they are, not who we want them to be, by awakening ourselves to be present in all our small moments. While this book has many lessons for parents of teenagers, it is also a soulful book that helps us recognize each stage of parenting.

Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax: The idea that boys and girls are different is not new. However, this book allows teachers and parents to learn about the biological differences children have based on gender. Now, I am all for gender equality, but we also need to honor differences in our kids. For example, girls’ brains develop the cerebral cortex earlier than boys, allowing them to talk about their feelings at a younger age. As an art teacher, my other favorite concept that is often true is when Sax says “boys draw verbs and girls draw nouns.” If you are like me and have daughters (or not!), Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein is a fascinating follow up.

How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm by Mei-Ling Hopgood: If you liked Bringing Up Bébé, this is a great book to show you how the world is doing this parenting thing in different ways. Want to let your kids stay up until midnight and not feel guilty? This book has a whole chapter on Argentine parents who do that, and often. This book is a great reminder that there are many different ways to be a great parent.

Dad Is Fat by Jim Gaffigan: You know that wonderful stage when baby takes a nap on your chest? I read this book while my littlest love was on my chest, but I was so busy laughing out loud that I woke my poor baby. This book is ridiculously on point and comes from a man who has five kids and lives in a two-bedroom apartment — he has to have a great sense of humor!

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross: If you’re feeling like you just can’t keep up — with your kids or with the Joneses — then this is your book. I love everything about this read because it helps us remember what our kids really want (hint: not stuff!). I try to revisit this book often, as it has very helpful reminders on how to streamline my home to create a healthy rhythm that fosters independence and joy in our media-laden, ever-changing, fast-paced world.

NurtureShock by Po Bronson: This book was recommended to me long ago, and I finally grabbed it at Brookline Booksmith, my favorite bookstore. This book consolidates every challenging question you want to have answered, from sibling dynamics to talking about race with your kids.

everyday blessings, the vaccine book, reviving ophelia, the idle parent, raising an emotionally intelligent child, the sleep lady's good night, sleep tight — A sample of some other books on my shelf.

What did I miss? I would love to hear your favorite reads!

Journey to Parenthood | The Emotional Wait

By

Allison Goldberg

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July 20, 2015

In my mind, meeting my son for the first time would be nothing short of a fantasy. There I would be, with a glistening glow providing me the undeniable shine of a new mother. My hair would be slightly out of place, my makeup would be minimal, only highlighting my natural looks. I would be tired, but the exhaustion would be nothing compared to the overwhelming love that would encompass me as I pushed out that tiny baby and he was placed into my arms. My husband and I would kiss, marveling at the miracle that we had created, and a sense of peace and bliss would be my new reality.

Anyone who has given birth knows that my fantasy was just that — a fantasy. The perfect birth I had concocted in my mind was quickly turned upside down as I was rushed down the hallway for an emergency C-section. Fear quickly took over, and the only glistening glow that existed on my face came from the tears rolling down my cheeks. It was a frightening experience, but I delivered a healthy baby boy. I longed to hold him. I longed to be enveloped in the emotional bond that would soon flood my heart.

Four hours later, the effects of being overmedicated during my C-section had worn off. My baby was finally handed to me. I anxiously awaited that emotional connection. Anticipating the magic that I was about to discover, I held him tightly, thankful that he was here, healthy. The moment had arrived. But those emotions never came. I loved him because he was mine, but I stared at him as though he was a stranger… and he was.

We spent six days in the hospital then packed up our new little person and went home. I was tired, hormonal, and recovering from surgery. Friends came and went, grandparents visited daily. Everyone said, “Isn’t this the best?” I smiled and nodded, unable to say how I really felt — embarrassed that I was not feeling what I and everyone else expected me to feel. I questioned myself: Was I a bad mother? Was something wrong? Could I be experiencing postpartum depression? All I had ever dreamed about was this special bond, and it was virtually absent from my experience thus far. I was secretly devastated.

As the days and weeks passed, my little man and I became better acquainted. We spent late nights studying each other’s faces. We rose together with the sun barely illuminating the sky. We rested together, our breaths turning into one simultaneous motion. I could feel something shifting. He was no longer the stranger handed to me in the hospital. It was a slow progression. My mind and my body had to heal. I had to move beyond the fear, the pain, the newness, the unknown, in order to be emotionally available for the bond I so much desired.

The connection that developed over those next few months and continues to develop with each passing day is something I will never be able to fully convey, but it’s a connection every mother eventually understands. It is a binding link between souls from deep within. It is inexplicably all consuming, and it was definitely worth the wait.

Journey to Parenting is brought to you by Stork Ready. Stork Ready is conveniently located 15 miles north of Boston at 325 Main Street in North Reading. Stork Ready offers a wide range of classes and support groups in a relaxed, home-like atmosphere, including childbirth education, breastfeeding, infant CPR, newborn essentials, mommy and baby groups, and lactation and postpartum adjustment support groups. Their experienced staff members are certified in many fields and work on labor and delivery and maternity units. Visit Stork Ready’s website to see all that they offer.

If you have a story that you’d like to tell, please email us. We’re looking for guest posts of about 300-600 words long, accompanied by a couple of pictures.

Exercising While Pregnant: The Benefits You Never Knew (Part 1)

By

Lindsey Galvao

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July 19, 2015

I started CrossFitting five months before I found out I was pregnant, and it never once occurred to me that I might need to stop exercising when I saw the two pink lines on my pregnancy test. But as people outside of my gym found out I was pregnant, the comments began:

“Why don’t you take it easy? Aren’t you afraid you’ll get hurt?”

“Isn’t CrossFit dangerous? Why would you do that to your baby?”

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll have a miscarriage?”

“Pregnancy is the one time you can get fat and no one can say anything to you about it. Why don’t you just relax?”

“What are you trying to prove?”

“I thought I would run/swim/hike/join the Marines when I got pregnant, but then I gave it up immediately. You know you don’t need to work so hard right now.”

I did the best I could to ignore the naysayers, but there was a nagging sense that I was doing something wrong. The mainstream was telling me I was making poor choices by maintaining a level of physical activity while pregnant. Still, I loved working out, and I continued to CrossFit, albeit extremely modified, until four days before I gave birth to a healthy baby girl.

I’m glad I didn’t listen to the unsolicited advice, since women who exercise while pregnant reap incredible health benefits. Here are just a few examples of how exercising while pregnant leads to a healthier pregnancy:

1. Exercising lowers the risk of developing gestational diabetes

Gestational diabetes occurs in 10 percent of pregnancies, and women who develop gestational diabetes have a greater chance of developing type 2 diabetes later in life. Women who exercise during pregnancy lower their risk of developing gestational diabetes by 59 percent.

2. Exercise leads to easier labors and deliveries, with fewer medical intervention

Women who exercise while pregnant are four times less likely to have a C-section and 75 percent less likely to need forceps in a delivery. While there are no guarantees, researchers have found that exercise leads to shorter active labors, a lower risk of a pre-term birth, and a reduction of fetal distress during birth.

3. You’ll gain less weight

A study in “Maternal and Child Health Journal” recently analyzed the pregnancies of more than 800 women in South Carolina, and the results showed that women who exercised throughout pregnancy were 80 percent less likely to gain excessive amounts of weight, compared to those who did not exercise at all. The study concluded that “Exercise during pregnancy can help women achieve their recommended gestational weight gain, and experience better maternal and fetal outcomes,” meaning a decrease in the chance of a C-section, a decrease in a pre-term birth, and a decrease in obesity for both mother and child.

4. Strength training has added benefits

Women who strength train have reported increased stability, which is crucial for decreasing back pain and keeping the body in more proper alignment. So pick up those dumbbells and start lifting!

5. Other benefits:

Because of increased blood flow due to exercise, you’re less likely to have leg swelling.
You’re at lower risk for developing preeclampsia, which is the second leading cause of maternal death in the U.S.
Contrary to the myth, researchers in Denmark found that women who exercise have a lower rate of miscarriage than women who don’t. Exercise is not a contributing factor toward miscarriage.
Women who exercise while pregnant report lower incidents of morning sickness and say that exercising helps lessen the symptoms of nausea.
Because it keeps your intestines moving, it reduces constipation.
You’ll be happier! Pregnancy is known for altering hormones and moods, but women who exercise while pregnant report fewer depressive emotions before and after birth as compared to women who don’t exercise.

If you’re pregnant and haven’t been regularly exercising, you don’t need to throw in the towel just yet! Walking, swimming, and prenatal yoga are all perfectly safe exercises to start while pregnant, and you’ll still experience benefits. Talk to your healthcare provider if you have questions, and always make sure that while exercising you maintain your breathing, drink plenty of water, and listen to your body. So grab a pair of sneakers and enjoy your workouts!

I’m Sorry I’m Late… Again

By

Lindsay Goldberg

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July 18, 2015

Let me be honest. I’ve never been the most punctual person in the world. If I was scheduled to meet someone at 8, you could count on me being there at 8:15 or 8:20. Not the worst timing, right? But then I became A MOM. And now I have a good excuse for my tardiness — I have a kid. I’ve been granted carte blanche for being late.

When baby was first born, I was late for the usual reasons — feeding and changing the baby, changing myself, feeding again, changing again (one or both of us!), and feeding one more time. Now that she’s older, there are even more reasons why I’m late.

1. My husband and I were headed out one morning. We had timed everything well, and we were on track to be out of the house in 30 minutes and on time to arrive at our destination. And then, our baby yawned. She rubbed her eyes. There was no way I was going to keep her up for half an hour and have a good day. I put her in her crib, assuming she’d be up in 20 minutes or so. An hour and a half later, she woke up. Please note, my baby rarely naps that early.

2. I was getting ready to meet a friend. I was going to be on time. My baby had been pretty heavy on the poops. My husband was changing her, and I took over while he washed his hands. Somehow, on my watch, poop ended up in her hair. Impromptu bath time and a very confused toddler made me late.

3. My husband and I were going out to a swanky affair. The three of us were strutting our stuff — fancy dress, nice hair. On time. Baby then proceeded to grunt. We waited for her to finish her red-faced grunting. Her tush made me late. Again.

4. It was Sunday morning. Our baby did us a solid and slept in ’til 8 a.m., which NEVER happens. When she woke up, she wanted extra cuddles in our bed. We gladly took that hour of cuddles. The rest of the day was delayed. I am totally OK with that.

For my friends with kids, you get it. Thank you for understanding.

For those without, just you wait…

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing a C-Section

By

Morgan Sheena

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July 17, 2015

Motherhood comes with a host of choices about what is best for you, your family, and your children. We at Boston Moms Blog are a diverse group of moms who want to embrace these choices instead of feeling guilty or judged for them! We are starting our “Parenting Perspectives” series with a look at the heated topic of birth and birth plans. Two or more of our contributors will share their experiences of choosing their particular birth plan.

olibirth

A C-section was never in the game plan. The thought of surgery scares me, but the thought of the recovery scares me even more. So when I learned that my stubborn Olivia was breech at 28 weeks, I set out on a mission to do everything I could to turn her.

I spent the next 11 weeks seeing my chiropractor several times a week, getting acupuncture, burning mugwort at my feet, playing music to my belly, alternating hot and cold, lying upside down, doing crazy yoga poses, putting peppermint oil on my belly, and doing handstands. I even went to the hospital for an awkward procedure called an ECV. None of it worked. I was basically left with two choices — find a doctor who would deliver a breech baby vaginally, or have a C-section. I opted for the latter.

The thought of trying to deliver a breech baby vaginally honestly scared me. I know it’s doable, but in the end I decided it just wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to go through the process of trying to deliver her breech, on the off chance (very high off chance) I would end up with a C-section anyway. I did everything I could to avoid it. I was literally doing handstands the day before I was scheduled for surgery, and the morning of the surgery I visited my chiropractor for one last Webster technique in a last-ditch effort to try to turn her. I willed her to turn, and I was convinced she was going to turn when I was on the surgery table and I would be sent home. Didn’t happen.

I didn’t love having a C-section, but I knew it was the right choice. I hated relying on people to lift things. I hated that I couldn’t pick up my son. I hated the itchiness and uncomfortable recovery. Would I do it again?

In a heartbeat.

mommyolivia

In the end, it wasn’t as awful as I thought. Heading into that operating room was one of the scariest moments of my life, and the whole procedure was a little awkward. Hearing that little scream though? Worth it. Worth it all. Getting those extra days in the hospital to snuggle my little girl? Priceless.

Sometimes things simply don’t happen as we planned. Life throws us curveballs, and we do what we can to deal with them. I believe there are too many unnecessary C-sections performed in our country, but there are times when it’s a must. I did my best, but in the end it was a must. I’ve been judged for not trying harder or for not attempting to deliver her breech. But I know in my heart I did all I could and made the best choice for us. We are so fortunate that C-sections are an option for moms who are unable to deliver vaginally. It was a hard choice, but the right choice.

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing an Epidural

Parenting Perspectives: Choosing Minimal Interventions During Childbirth

Parenting Perspectives: An Ode to My Midwife

Navigating Early Intervention — Trust Your Gut

By

Heather Y

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July 16, 2015

My son was born 10 days past his due date, but other than that, he was right on target for all the first-year milestones — he sat at 4 months independently, started crawling at 6 months. You get the picture. But around his first birthday I noticed he wasn’t as verbal as some of his peers.

He was able to say “Da-da,” but not much else. We attended a “sign-along sing-along” class every week, so he had learned a little bit of sign language to help communicate his basic needs — “water,” “more,” “all done.” This aided in our communication with him, and I figured words would come soon.

If I mentioned to others that my son wasn’t talking yet, I was always met with attempts to reassure: “Boys are late to talk.” “He won’t go to college not talking.” And, “He’s your first — you worry about everything.” At 18 months he had a few more words, but not many — definitely not the 10-20 words that are typical of kids at that age. He was frustrated at times because he wanted to communicate with us but wasn’t able to. Even our pediatrician told me he would talk and that I shouldn’t worry. But I had “What to Expect: The Toddler Years” memorized, and I knew my son was late to the talking game.

Following his 18-month check-up, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had Googled what to do in a situation like this, and all pages pointed to Early Intervention. I contacted our local Early Intervention program. And I never looked back.

The woman I spoke with on the phone guided me through the “self-referral process.” Our pediatrician didn’t even tell me about this! I answered simple questions regarding our insurance, why I was calling about my son. Two weeks later, a team would come to our house to evaluate him.

It’s important to know that any parent can refer their child to be evaluated by Early Intervention — you don’t have to wait for a teacher or medical professional to step in. Eligible children include those from birth to age 3 who were born with a disability or health condition that affects their development. Children who were born prematurely, have feeding, vision, or hearing issues, are slow to crawl, sit, walk, talk, or do things for themselves, have behavior or attention difficulties, or have been identified as having environmental risk factors may also be eligible.

According to the Early Childhood Technical Assistance Center, more children are in need of services than are currently being served. In 2009, only 348,604 children received services nationally, which represents 2.67% of the general population of children ages birth to 3. However, research indicates that as many as 13% of these children have delays that would make them eligible according to criteria commonly used by the states. Early Intervention is being grossly underused.

Cut to the chase… my son qualified for services! Contacting Early Intervention was one of the best things I did for my child, and it was surprisingly simple. It is has been a wonderful resource for our family, and we couldn’t be happier with the results.

Bon Voyage: Preparing for a Trip Without the Kids

By

Rebecca Couture

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July 15, 2015

This summer my husband and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. Ten! We really have tried, and mostly succeeded, in upholding the vows we made. We’ve had our share of good times and bad as well as sickness and health, and though our marriage is far from perfect, we’re still going strong. Given this major milestone, and now that our boys are a bit older, we have decided it’s time to take an adults-only vacation! Vacationing with our boys is an amazing experience, and I look forward to sharing the world with them, but it isn’t exactly restful. I’ve gone through all the anxiety, guilt, and fear that comes with leaving my little guys behind, but the truth is, it’s probably harder on me than it is on them.

Our first son was born six years after we said “I do,” so we had lots of time as a couple before we became parents. Once our babies arrived, we felt very content to simply be with them as much as possible. Sure, making time for one another is hard when kids are little. But as a part-time working mama, I was already spending three days away from my boys, and that was enough for me. On the other hand, just as it’s important to have some “me time,” it’s also important to have “couple time.” But we needed to feel ready. The boys are now 4 and 2, they’re sleeping at night, I’m no longer breastfeeding or pumping, and everyone can feed themselves — so it feels like the absolute right time to get away!

Preparation for travel sans kids is just as much about our little ones — making sure they feel safe and cared for in our absence — as it is about plane tickets and resort reservations and swimsuit shopping. How you go about this will depend on the ages of your children, but here are a few tips to help you get started!

Start planning as early as possible

We began planning about six months prior to our departure date and went back and forth about where to go and for how long. It’s important to take into consideration how far you’re willing to travel — if there’s an emergency, can you get home easily? The likelihood of a major emergency is slim, but it may be easier to relax if you know you’re only a car ride away. We settled on one week away and have chosen a beach location out of the country.

Start talking to your kids as soon as you finalize your plans

My boys are fairly young, so trying to explain that mommy and daddy are going away is a little tricky. My 4-year-old understands what a “trip” means, but will he understand when we’re gone for a whole week? Will my 2-year-old be looking for us the whole time we’re away? To bring it to their level, we’ve been reading “The Berenstain Bears and the Week At Grandma’s.” Mama and Papa Bear go on a second honeymoon and leave the cubs with their grandparents. The cubs end up having so much fun, they make it through the week with flying colors! We’ve read this several times now, accompanied by a great dialogue, and the boys have gained a deeper understanding about mom and dad going away.

Research Wi-Fi and cell phone availability at your destination

Since we’ve chosen an out-of-country locale, we started researching Wi-Fi and international plans for our phones. It’s important for us to be able to FaceTime with the kids, call home at any time, and be reached from home should any unexpected issues arise.

Leave them in familiar hands and, if possible, in the comfort of their home

Thank God for grandparents and their willingness to be flexible! Our boys will be staying at home with my parents, in an attempt to keep things as normal as possible and to create feelings of stability and safety while we’re away. This is just as much for me as it is for the kids. Knowing they are in their own beds, with their pets and toys, will make it easier to relax and enjoy time away. We even plan to keep their daycare schedule as is, which will provide some normalcy for the kids and a break for the grandparents.

Make sure your sitter has insurance cards, prescription cards, and permission to seek treatment in your absence

If one of your little ones has a fall or gets an ear infection, you’ll want your sitter/family member to be able to get them the help they need. Leave a signed document for consent for treatment, a list of allergies, and any medications your child might be taking. This is another time where accessibility via cell phone is really important! Hopefully, kids stay happy and healthy while you’re gone, but in the event that something comes up, you’re covered.

Leave a list of likes and dislikes when it comes to food

Toddlers and preschoolers can be extremely picky about their snacks and meals. My 4-year-old only eats “gray” yogurt, and my 2-year-old would eat nothing but “gummies” if he could. Plan to stock the house with groceries that will keep them fed and happy. Leave a list of their favorite restaurants and ice cream shops — let them get spoiled while you’re away.

As parents, we work hard to raise our families, but at times we are simply burned out. Whether you need a date night, a weekend away, or more, it’s OK and a MUST to take that time for each other. Take a deep breath, pick a spot on the map, and start planning. You deserve it!

Where are you and your significant other heading without the kiddies?!

Terrific Children’s Theatres in Boston

By

Caitlin

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July 14, 2015

Boston Children’s Theatre’s production of “Fame Jr.,” featuring local actors between 9 and 14 years old. Photo by Leighanne Sturgis.

Theatre has been in my life for as long as I can remember. My first “starring” role came in third grade when I played a pirate in our school’s production about Christopher Columbus. (I’m not certain Columbus actually encountered pirates during his travels, but I’m sure our production was incredibly historically accurate.) During the show, I forgot to pull down my eye patch and instead kept it on my forehead. But despite my on-stage omission, I was totally hooked on theatre after that little show — I had caught the acting bug. A few years later, I saw my first touring Broadway production of “The Phantom of the Opera” and was completely entranced by the music, characters, and spectacle of the entire show. When I saw the production again, 18 years later at the Boston Opera House, I was just as mesmerised as I was the first time. The excitement I felt as a child returned to me, and my sense of wonder still prevailed.

Having worked in both professional and children’s theatre, I have seen firsthand how it can be a hugely beneficial activity for children. It can spark their imagination and creativity and help them develop a love for art and music. Plus, with any luck, it’s a great activity to get kids to sit still for a couple hours! I fully intend to bring my children to the theatre as soon as I can, and even though my child right now is too young to attend, that has not stopped me from vetting some great places to take him when he’s older. Here are a few theatre companies in the Boston area to check out for great children’s productions all year long:

Boston Ballet

Seeing “The Nutcracker” at the Boston Opera House is a Christmas tradition that should not be missed. I’ve seen smaller productions of this classic, but watching the ballet in the heart of Boston during the Christmas season is truly magical. Nothing quite beats viewing “The Nutcracker” and then emerging onto Boston Common to see the park fully decorated, with the city’s Christmas tree right in the heart of the Common. The dancers are beyond talented, and it’s incredible to see just what the human body can do. The costumes are also beautiful and fit well with the grandiose scenery. When I attended “The Nutcracker” I saw many, many little girls, as young as age 4, wearing their fancy dresses and attending the ballet with their parents and grandparents. As the soon-to-be mother of two boys, I fully intend to slap a bow tie on sons’ collars and take them to the Boston Opera House to see a Boston Ballet production. Ballet, after all, is not just for girls. Of course, “The Nutcracker” isn’t the only production from the Boston Ballet; the company presents multiple ballets throughout the year — next year, “Swan Lake” is on the schedule. (Be sure to check out Morgan’s reviews of a few previous productions, like “Shades of Sound” and “Edge of Vision.”) Tickets to Boston Ballet performances are more expensive than some, so you may want to save this event for a special occasion. You can also look for deals on Groupon or Living Social to help alleviate the ticket price.

Wheelock Family Theatre

Wheelock Family Theatre offers Broadway-quality productions for a fraction of the price. I had the pleasure of seeing their recent production of Shrek: The Musical,” and the actress who played Princess Fiona looked and sounded almost exactly like Sutton Foster, who originated the role on Broadway. (Trust me — that’s incredibly high praise.) The theatre is situated on the campus of Wheelock College on the Riverway, so the theatre’s casts are comprised of both exceptionally talented college and high school students from all over the Boston area, as well as professional actors. Nestled about 10 minutes from Fenway Park and the Museum of Fine Arts, you could easily make a fun day in the Fenway area as you attend a production at Wheelock.

Boston Children’s Theatre

Boston Children’s Theatre offers affordable theatre for children, performed by children. Over the last year, this theatre performed shows such as “The Velveteen Rabbit,” “Stuart Little: The Musical,” and “The Diary of Anne Frank.” While the regular season has wrapped up, the company’s summer program is available for children as young as age 4, and classes are spread throughout the Boston area from Cambridge to Beverly. Children participating in the summer programs will even have the chance to take classes with some Broadway actors! Children are sure to be engaged as either audience members or performers.

Watertown Children’s Theatre

For those of you near Newton or Watertown, Watertown Children’s Theatre offers productions performed by and geared toward a variety of ages. Much like Boston Children’s Theatre, Watertown Children’s Theatre productions star children. If your child is interested in getting involved in theatre, this company offers many opportunities, including weekend workshops, after-school programs, and summer classes. If you simply want to attend their productions, they have seven to choose from throughout the year, making it a great year-round activity.

Local community theatre

I absolutely wish I could spotlight every single community theatre in every single neighborhood in the Boston area —there are so many opportunities for children to both see theatre and get involved in it close to home. For instance, Easton Children’s Theatre, just south of Boston, offers children a very affordable opportunity to be in three different productions every year — a fall show, a spring show, and a summer camp. In particular, during the summer camp, kids play theatre games, learn dances, and rehearse for a final camp production. This experience helps children develop confidence, and this confidence can be reflected in their schoolwork and social lives throughout the year. Be sure to take a look at the theatres in your neighborhood. There may be some great organizations just around the corner from you!

You may have children who were a lot like me and many other kids I have worked with over the years — children who have a vivid imagination, a need to express their creativity, and a bit of a flair for the dramatic. Theatre helped me find my niche as I was growing up, and I’ve carried the lessons I learned both as a performer and audience member with me throughout my life. So check out the theatres both in the heart of Boston and in your neighborhoods as often as you can!