Seeking the Perfect Christmas Tree

By

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November 13, 2019

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
Thy leaves are so unchanging
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Thy leaves are so unchanging.

As this well-known Christmas carol goes on to say (in summary), the tree’s leaves are equally as green in the summer as they are in the winter — they never change. And ever since the warm, sunny, summer days were upon us, my family has been talking about Christmas and the tree we’re going to get this year — this, too, is unchanging.

This year is a magical one in my house, as my almost 2.5-year-old child has discovered, understands, and is beyond excited about everything that will be taking place on December 24 and 25. And what is the foundation of all that is to come in holiday preparations? The tree, of course!

This year, we’re going beyond a drive to Home Depot or the local American Legion to scope out the perfect tree for our house — one that we can select in a field and cut down ourselves, hopefully accompanied by a sleigh ride and a cup of hot cocoa. Here are a few suggestions for local Christmas tree farms in the Boston area if you’re looking for a similar festive experience this year.

*Please note that most of these farms only accept cash or checks (no credit cards). Coupons are available on some of the websites.

North

Ingraham Christmas Tree Farm

167 Nelson St., Georgetown, MA

This farm boasts cut-your-own Christmas trees, with saws provided and trees tied and baled. Winter wagon rides, Christmas wreaths, poinsettias, and decorations are also available for sale. Tree varieties include balsam fir, blue spruce, Canaan fir, white fir, Douglas fir, Fraser fir, and white pine.

Smolak Farms

315 S. Bradford St., North Andover, MA

Smolak offers a plethora of Christmas activities for the whole family, in addition to the cut-your-own-tree experience. Look forward to Santa’s workshop, a morning with Mrs. Claus, a teddy bear Christmas tea, cookie decorating, and crafts for kids. Choose-and-cut trees are $69 for all sizes; Fraser fir and Douglas fir varieties are offered. Pre-cut trees are also available for purchase, ranging from $49-120.

West

Bear’s Christmas Tree Farm

60 Milk St., Blackstone, MA

This family farm has “premium” choose-and-cut Fraser fir, balsam fir, Canaan fir, and blue spruce trees. Homemade cookies and warm apple cider are available as you search for the perfect tree.

Houde’s Christmas Tree Farm

169 Berlin Rd., Marlborough, MA

This 30-year-old family-run farm offers 37 acres of land, with views of Mount Wachusett. Santa makes appearances on the farm, and complimentary hot chocolate is offered. Tree varieties include Douglas fir, balsam fir, concolor fir, and several spruce and pine varieties. Cut-your-own trees run $8 per foot, and pre-cut trees range in price from $30-100.

South

Deerfield Tree Farm

25 Birch St., Millis, MA

This family-owned farm provides Christmas cheer as you’re searching for the perfect tree, with appearances by Santa, winter wagon rides, and complimentary hot cocoa. Saws are provided for cut-your-own trees, and precut trees are also available. Tree varieties include Fraser fir, Korean fir, Canaan fir, concolor fir, and balsam fir. Balsam and Fraser are $15 per foot, and spruce and Korean fir are $12 per foot. Precut trees range from $30-250.

Pakeen Farm

109 Elm St., Canton, MA

Inviting those searching for the perfect tree to visit their fields and barn, this farm nurtures each tree for more than eight years before selling it. Complimentary hot chocolate and a concession stand with fresh cider donuts are offered here. Tree varieties include balsam fir, Fraser fir, concolor fir, blue spruce, white spruce, and Norway spruce.

Good luck finding your perfect tree, and the happiest of holidays to you and yours!

So Your Child Is Obsessed With Thomas and Friends

By

Kat Cornetta

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November 12, 2019

It started with a first birthday gift.

A friend got my son a Thomas the Tank Engine train for his first birthday. He liked, but didn’t love it, at first. He played with it on occasion for the first few weeks. The next month, he played with it a lot, then he forgot it existed. This cycle continued for a few months…

Until one day, that train became everything. And it somehow started multiplying.

Now I have a 3-year-old who not only knows the names of trains that only appeared in one episode back in 1991, he has the habit of correcting anyone who dares get a name incorrect. (The confidence is precocious now, though I have to get it in line because it might not be so cute when he’s 8.) We have 38 trains, all shapes and sizes, all colors and paint variations, and enough miles of wooden track to make our local transit authority jealous.

Of all the things my preschooler could be obsessed with, Thomas and Friends is pretty tame. It isn’t anything violent. Laying out the wooden track encourages creativity. It’s something he can play independently or with others. It’s not a flash in the pan — in fact, some of my son’s Thomas books were passed down from his uncles, who are now 32 and 25.

If you are new to these toys and this world, here are some tips my obsessive-research side has compiled over the course of my son’s total Thomas fandom:

Thomas on TV

There have been multiple versions of Thomas stories on American TV. The original, which many of you might have grown up with, was on a PBS show called “Shining Time Station.” You’ll remember it because the original conductor was Beatles drummer Ringo Starr. He was soon succeeded by George Carlin (yes, the comedian) and then Alec Baldwin (yes, him). The show eventually lost the human storyline that was sandwiched between the Thomas stories and just became “Thomas and Friends.”

The show was eventually acquired by Nickelodeon and then passed along to Cartoon Network and Netflix, and for many years it’s been animated instead of telling a story with model trains like the original. The most recent iteration was subtitled “Big World! Big Adventures!” and has more gender-balanced and multicultural characters, with storylines encouraging understanding and environmental responsibility.

Train types

Likewise, just as there are multiple versions on TV, there are also multiple kinds of Thomas trains. The most well-known are wooden railway trains, which are your traditional wooden models. There are also minis (they come in mystery bags or multi-packs) and Trackmasters (larger, battery-operated models.) If you buy trains on Amazon, you might come across the “adventures” line, which are metal versions of the wooden railway trains.

Thomas online

You can stream “Thomas and Friends” on Amazon Prime (seasons 1 and 18-21) and Netflix (seasons 23 and 24). But for those classic original seasons, poking around on YouTube may be your best bet — many older fans have uploaded their old VHS tapes or DVDs to YouTube, and still others (mostly from the UK) have been able to put more recent individual episodes online.

A few years ago, we went to our local thrift shop and eBay to buy the older DVDs. But when our DVD player broke, we were really in a bind.

For the super invested children, you can find videos super fans have created using their model collections, retelling the original stories and creating some of their own. There are also fans who upload videos of their massive train collections, which is great if you have a child wanting to learn the names of every single engine (like my own.)

As with all things on YouTube, watch and evaluate Thomas offerings before letting your children watch unsupervised. A few channels I let my son watch are Thomas Wooden Railway (his collection videos are amazing), Kids Toys Play’s Thomas series (created by a dad who throws in harmless jokes for the parents that will fly over kids’ heads), and Thomas and Friends UK, which is the official Thomas and Friends channel for the UK. It has more full episodes for free than its American counterpart. (Just a warning: Your child might pick up a British accent, like mine has.)

Thank Our Veterans

By

Leah Lynch

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November 11, 2019

Veterans Day - Boston Moms Blog

I grew up knowing that both my grandfathers were veterans who fought in WWII. Even as a kid, and then as a teenager, I was proud of my grandfathers for what they did to serve our country. I liked seeing their old photos. I enjoyed hearing that they wrote love letters to my grandmothers back in the States. And I vividly remember taking in my grandfather’s military tattoo while sitting on his lap.

However, I am sad to say I never actually thanked my grandfathers for their service before they passed away. I really have no excuse, other than I was an incredibly shy child, and, honestly, I don’t think I ever heard anyone else thank them.

Now, as an adult and a parent, I always thank veterans when I see them. Not just on Veterans Day, but every day. We all notice those VFW hats or an active duty soldier in uniform. We can all take five seconds out of our day to simply say, “Thank you for serving our country.” If I have the time (and if the kids are behaving), I ask a few simple questions about their time in our military. I’ll ask what branch of the military they served in or what their duty was. I may ask where they were stationed throughout their career. Seriously, these men and women put their lives in danger and spend precious time away from their own families. The least I can do is look them in the eye, shake their hand, and give them the most sincere thank you.

My hope is that my children see me model this and it becomes something they copy and do themselves. My kids are 8, 5, and 2, so too young to really understand what it means that their “Pop” served in Vietnam. However, I do expect them to thank my father-in-law. Someday they will know and understand the sacrifices he made. And they can be just as proud of him as I am, and just as proud of him as I was of my grandfathers.

So please, today and every day, thank our veterans and active-duty military members. I know they appreciate it, and I know they do not get thanked or acknowledged enough.

We’re Late! (A Reflection on Trying to Leave the House on Time)

By

Krystal Avila

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November 8, 2019

It doesn’t matter where — school, daycare, soccer practice, swim lessons, a birthday party, Nana’s house, vacation. It could be the most exciting trip to an amusement park that we’ve been planning and talking about for months.

We are always late!

If you’re like me, the hardest part of the day is getting out the front door and actually pulling out of the driveway.

Our family has one car and two kids. My husband and I both work full time, and our oldest (who just turned 5), is starting to have a calendar busier than mine. We are coming and going a lot. Sometimes it’s early in the morning; other times our departure is not until later in the day. It really does not matter. Even on the days I plan in extra time, I promise you, we will be late.

Why, though? I just don’t understand!

I’ve laid out the clothes, packed the diaper bag, backpacks, snacks, extra snacks, some toys, and more snacks. Literally, all they have to do is get dressed, put on some shoes, maybe a coat, and get in the car. And nope! Still late. We still cannot get out the door without coaxing, laughing, chasing, definitely sweat, and maybe some tears, which all cause us to miss that perfect window of time, including the extra, extra time I try to build in to arrive on time.

So, I’ve been thinking about it. And I’ve come to the following conclusions when it comes to family tardiness:

Mom really is better than anyone else at putting on socks. I even know how to make it so the line on the socks is perfectly at the top of their feet.
No one else can run around the house quite like mom — while holding a coffee.
Only mom can walk perfectly down the stairs while holding a purse, a diaper bag, a backpack, and a child.
Mom always knows where the coats and hats are.
Watching mom race to the car in heels is amazing.
Instead of buckling themselves in their own seats, they’d rather watch me as I attempt to turn around in my seat to buckle them.
No one does it quite like mom!

Our children really just want us to do everything — put their socks on; find their coats, hats, and mittens; carry their bags down the stairs; race them to the car; and buckle them up. In these moments when they want me to do it all, all I want to do is arrive on time. If only the two could happen together!

So, until I figure it out I will continue the gentle reminders to get dressed, walk down the stairs, get in the car, get in the car, buckle, buckle, BUCKLE! Sorry we’re late — again!

Enrolling My Daughter in Dance Was the Best Decision I’ve Made as a Parent (and Not for the Reasons You Think!)

By

Chelsey Weaver

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November 7, 2019

ballet dance - Boston Moms Blog

It’s a busy Saturday morning in my 3-year-old daughter’s favorite place — The Dance Junction in Saugus. Girls and boys of all abilities are waiting excitedly for their classes — some stimming with excitement, some eagerly talking to their peers, and others quietly changing their shoes. The zero-step entry into the dance studio is busier than normal today. If you listen carefully, you can hear several different languages being spoken among parents and children. But, undoubtedly, we’re all saying similar things: “Do your best.” “Use good listening ears.” “Wait your turn.” “Be a good friend.” It’s a beautiful, albeit rare example of diversity, inclusion, and integration.

Nobody bats an eye at my daughter’s leg braces or the sneakers she wears instead of ballet shoes. There are several of us talking openly about the things going on during the week — girl scouts, ABA therapy, storytimes offered at the local libraries, physical or occupational therapy, preschool and kindergarten triumphs or struggles. The discussion is seamless, non-judgemental, and surprisingly open.

As a mom, these are my people.

When I initially signed my daughter up for a dance class last year, I worried we would feel out of place. I wasn’t looking to turn her into a competitive dancer at the age of 3 and did not shuttle her to complementary singing and acting classes in hopes that she would become a child star. She simply loves music, and we hoped that signing her up for “creative movement” would be fun.

What we got back, however, was nothing short of magical.

My daughter learned how to stretch her body and wait patiently for her turn. Her teachers encouraged her to look in the mirror and be proud of who she saw looking back at her. She sang songs while she danced, practiced walking on her tiptoes like a princess, was encouraged to use good manners, and, above all, learned to be kind to her classmates.

She watched carefully as everyone — regardless of ability — was included at the level they were comfortable with and treated with compassion as they learned at their own pace.

The supportive environment energized her. She found strength in it. She looked up to her teaching assistant with admiring eyes and felt proud when she tried so hard to make her tiny little steps look just like those of a seasoned dancer.

And finally, she learned the magic of working together to make something beautiful.

At the end of the year, I watched my toddler gallop across the stage like a sparkly unicorn (in the wrong direction), smiling her proudest smile, knowing that what she accomplished went far beyond our wildest expectations in every way.

Funny, though, the things she learned that we’re the most thankful for were not part of the curriculum listed on the studio website.

Most importantly, through her dance class she experienced…

Love.
Inclusion.
Friendship.
Confidence.
Creativity.
Perseverance.
Teamwork.

What did we expect?

A 45-minute dance class.

What did we receive?

More than we could have ever dreamed of.

Running to Break Through the Maternal Wall

By

Angie V Martin

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November 6, 2019

A few weeks ago Boston Common was packed with women and their loved ones, vendor booths, port-a-potties, and the media for the 43rd running of the Boston 10K for Women, an amazing race with the long-time and accurate motto, “Start Strong, Finish Stronger.”

I was there to run it, with my husband and two children in tow as my personal cheer squad. What I did not know was that on this, my fifth time running this race, I was going to experience a breakthrough like never before.

I know, I know. If you’re an avid runner you might be thinking, “Lady, it’s only 6.2 miles.” But bear with me here.

This is a significant distance for me and many others — but it’s about much more than the mileage.

See, I had not run this race since before getting pregnant with my daughter five years ago. She is my second child. She was born in the summer of 2015. And I did not run this race that year, or in 2016, 2017, or 2018. Even though I had run this race four times prior to having her, something was different this time. Some say recovering from having your second child is often harder than the first time around. And there may be some truth to that. But I would venture to say that in my case, it was something much bigger than that.

It was the maternal wall.

The thing is, many women — myself included — experience what I have learned to refer to as “running into the maternal wall.” This can happen in our personal or professional lives (or both). The maternal wall can make us feel stuck and unable to live a life where we can follow our dreams and be someone other than Mom.

And during that 10K, I broke through my maternal wall. Everything hurt, I didn’t think I could complete the race, I had on-and-off chills and heart palpitations. I listened to a prayer podcast while doing breathing exercises. My son’s voice played in my head over and over, saying, “Good luck, mama, I hope you finish.” I kept telling myself I had to give it my all, not for anyone other than myself and those babies who made me a mother.

And somehow, after 59 minutes and 22 seconds, with tears in my eyes, nausea, and a little bit of pee in my pants (just keeping it real here), I crossed that finish line. I knew then and there that I had broken through so many “impossibles” that had been building up around me since I became a mom. I felt incredibly proud of myself in that moment. But best of all, I knew I was forever changed.

But you don’t have to run a race to break through your maternal wall.

We all have some version of a 10K in our lives. We all have a challenge ahead of us that we can use to break through the maternal wall. And we can shatter all the ideas out there that limit us as women who happen to also be moms. I hope my story will inspire you to find out what your 10K is and decide that you will get through it and come out stronger than when you started. I know you can.

Four-Legged Family Members :: A Tribute to Our Family’s First Dog

By

Courtney Medlin

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November 5, 2019

Before I got married, before I became a stepmom, and before my son was even a thought, I was a (crazy) dog mom.

When you’re 20 and in college, a pet might not seem like the best choice. But I thought, “Why not?” I knew lots of students at my New Orleans school with dogs who still had social lives and went to class. Maybe it was a post-Katrina YOLO choice, but I don’t regret it at all.

I scoured Petfinder.com and the NOLA.com classifieds, and at the end of my junior year I found him. The ad showed a special needs black and white male shih tzu.

I knew he had to be mine.

He was even discounted due to his “disability,” AKA, his straight/gimpy back leg. He essentially lived with a peg leg. I remember meeting the breeder at a gas station just over the Mississippi border, and she told me he had never been outside. She held him like a baby — and he loved being held that way until his last day. He was named after the “Garfield” character because of his smile. He loved the outdoors. His spirit animal was a sloth.

Leading up to Odie crossing the rainbow bridge, I had a Carrie Bradshaw thought. When you’re 20 and get a dog, do you really think about who you will be in 10 years or who your dog will be? Odie became a brother (when I added another dog, Abita, to my family a year later) and remained an important part of my life for 13 and a half years. He road-tripped from Louisiana to Massachusetts with me, lived in six homes with me, and went everywhere I could take him.

And Odie became a part of a family with kids.

This was a big milestone, because my new stepkids (who were 5 at the time) had never had a dog. Though Odie and Abita were regular-size dogs, the kids had been traumatized by a large dog when they were toddlers.

They had to get used to the dogs as the dogs did them. My husband and I recall them both running away from Abita (who was four pounds) because she was the more curious and energetic of the two. Odie, however, had a calm (or lazy) temperament that was perfect for reacclimating them with dogs. Even with our toddler son, he just let him sit nearby, petting him, trying to pick him up.

When we noticed Odie was really declining, we had to talk with the kids about what was happening. He was uncomfortable in his own skin. He had lost his sight. And he was barking more.

On my birthday, we went out as a family to a park. We all got to spend a few final moments with him before he left us.

Today is the first day I’ll come home from work without him there to greet me.

Though it’s very sad and very quiet in our home, we know Odie is at peace, laying in the sun and watching over us.

Bully Proof Your Child with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

By

Rachel Rich

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November 4, 2019

Brazilian jiu-jitsu - Boston Moms Blog

By middle school, one in five children has experienced some form of bullying by their peers.

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive, and repetitive behavior that demonstrates a power imbalance. It can take the form of physical, verbal, or social aggression and cause lasting damage to the victim. Individuals who bully tend to suffer from some type of emotional or physical distress. Taking it out on others is a means to protect themselves.

To effectively eliminate occurrences of bullying among our children, we must collectively seek to empower them with the ability to protect and defend themselves as well as the confidence and maturity to not only look out for those who become victims but seek to understand and befriend those who engage in the act of bullying.

Martial arts is one highly effective tool for bully prevention that parents can offer their children.

By training in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, children will not only be able to defend themselves, they’ll also develop strong self-confidence and build character that incorporates caring for the collective community. Because it focuses on leverage techniques and submission holds to gain control in a physical combat scenario — instead of punching and kicking — it is considered a more peaceful approach to defending oneself. Simplified in Japanese, the word jiu-jitsu translates into “gentle art.”

Here’s why we’ve loved our family’s involvement with Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Jiu-jitsu builds character and emphasizes basic core values over fighting.

Fighting never comes first in jiu-jitsu. Respect for one’s self, training partners, and the art takes precedence. Respect, confidence, positivity, humility, and kindness are core values that many training programs emphasize in their curriculum. It becomes the expectation that students learn these values, practice them, and adopt them both on and off the mat. As a result, children can stand up for themselves and begin looking out for others who are struggling. A jiu-jitsu program can teach children techniques and strategies for using their words, seeking help, empathizing, and relying on their own strength and confidence to handle and defuse bullying.

Jiu-jitsu arms a child with unwavering confidence.

From learning and practicing jiu-jitsu, a child becomes stronger, faster, and smarter. When faced with a bully, a child with a jiu-jitsu background is not likely to back down. When bullies sense this unyielding confidence, it is more likely they will back down before engaging. A child who has self-confidence in his ability to defend himself will exude that. This can prevent many bullying encounters. At the same time, jiu-jitsu instills humility.

Bruno Cesar Dias, one of the lead professors at Juniko in Hanover, where our son and daughters train, grew up in a very humble family in a tough Brazilian neighborhood. Jiu-jitsu taught him how to deal with his challenges while learning how to respect and accept the differences between himself and those around him. “For the kids, I believe jiu-jitsu is the best sport to be trained. In each training day, new challenges are met, kids are never in their comfort zone, and there is always something to learn. Kids learn how to be humble, how to be nice to others, and how to solve problems on their own.” This is a person I value as a role model and instructor to my children.

Children should learn how to physically protect themselves.

Self-defense is a life skill — something we all should know how to do. It is unrealistic to assume that our schools can protect our children, even with a zero-tolerance policy against bullying. As a former middle school teacher, I can honestly tell you I could not protect every one of my students from all possible bullying scenarios and opportunities. As a parent, I cannot completely protect my own children from real-life bullies and dangers. Our children must know how to look out for their own well-being. When children train in jiu-jitsu, they are taught how to take down an opponent, escape different types of holds, and use their bodies to force an aggressor into submission.

Jiu-jitsu teaches children to be leaders and helpers.

Skills and values learned on the jiu-jitsu mat are parallel to leadership skills. As a result, children who train in Brazilian jiu-jitsu avoid becoming bullies. Instead, they can focus their confidence, skills, and strength on protecting others. Instead of becoming a bystander, they take an active role in protecting those who are victimized. They show the bullies, who are likely also struggling, a more positive and constructive way.

As a parent, my goal is to combat bullying by helping my children learn to stand up for themselves and others while engaging a would-be bully in a constructive and confident way. Brazilian jiu-jitsu is the tool that reinforces those ideas and cements them into children’s habits of mind, self, and action.

The Art of “Stretching” — As Taught to Me by My 6-Year-Old

By

alisonthurber

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November 1, 2019

stretching - Boston Moms Blog

We turn the corner to the first-grade hall. I hang back, letting him lead the way to the classroom door while I hold my breath and wait. Wait for the clutch at my shirt. For the glassy-eyed glance back at me. For the plea to stay just a few minutes more. Instead, a quick squeeze of my ribs (wasn’t his embrace only to my hips a year ago?), and he’s off. Buddies await. I watch with wonder as classmates receive him and share that anticipatory energy that abounds in every “first day of school” classroom. Exhale.

We pass through the chain-link fence to a sea of bounding bodies and unwieldy soccer balls dancing about the green expanse. Making our way to the assigned field, my son asks if there will be “friends.” “Yes,” I say. “A classmate or two.” I promptly remind him there are friends yet to be made. And I wait. Wait for the complaint of too-tight cleats. Wait for the pressured plea to kick the ball with him for just a bit. But then… he spots a classmate, and he’s off. I watch with wonder as he dribbles toward the familiar face and initiates an impromptu shoot-out. Exhale.

Parent-win moments, right? Aren’t those the sweetest?

But they’re sweet precisely because of the bitter/salty/spicy moments in between.

And because the snapshots above do not remotely capture the emotional angst that accompanied our child through a variety of transitions following our move to the Boston area last fall.

A year ago, “new beginnings” went something like this…

Fifteen minutes into practice, and the coaches still had not arrived. Kindergartners, in their soccer best, wandered the field aimlessly, some preoccupied with dandelions and earthworms while others committed to the activity at hand, launching balls in every which direction with any appendage available. We confirmed one classmate in the midst of relative strangers, but this failed to find traction with our 5-year-old.

With each passing minute, each futile attempt by restless parents to salvage the first practice with haphazard “drills,” I watch as my son’s energy slowly shifts from nervous excitement to general confusion to the (misguided) assumption that he should assume full responsibility for this rag-tag “soccer team.” And I wait. And I fear. And it begins. The tears. Fast and furious. Body thrashing, voice stammering, as he insists, “I’m the worst soccer player in the whole world. Never again! I will never play soccer again. I hate soccer!” Those were the laments suitable for public consumption. It devolved from there.

Twenty minutes later and the whole town soccer league bore witness to the most epic of meltdowns.

So I get it. I get it when, in late spring, a classmate’s mom sends out an Excel spreadsheet mapping out week-long sessions at a summer camp, inviting parents to fill in accordingly to ensure coordination. I get it when parents begin drafting a proposed fall roster of classmates intended for the community soccer league, sights set on a team oozing with school pride. Yes, I get it. Because the concerted efforts to finesse “comfort” for our kids reflect the daunting predicament the alternative would require — to watch as our kids confront the uncertainty of new people and places, and to bear witness to the vast repertoire of distressed responses our kids might exhibit (including epic meltdowns).

These scenes capture my son’s range of responses to new situations. I’ve managed to omit other relevant facts about our move.

Like how a year since we’d arrived I hadn’t yet joined a running club like I’d promised myself I would. Or how I’d been eyeing a class schedule at a local yoga studio for months, readying myself for a resurrection after leaving a reliable yogi community behind. After all, yoga studios can be intimate places — scant clothing, scant sounds, scant defenses. And there was that pesky matter of people — a new community of yogis I’d have to stretch to connect with (figuratively and metaphorically). Ugh. Strrrreeeetch. Isn’t stretching the most optional of human exercise? You don’t have to stretch. You could just cut yourself a break after the grind of “adulting” and retreat into the comfort of a well-worn yoga mat right at home. Except…

My son did attend the local camp this past summer. We did not reference the Excel sheet. And yes, he was thrilled on the occasion that school buddies turned up in his sessions. But walking home at the close of the very first week, my son announced he had made an “awesome” new friend who was new to town and who loved soccer as much as he did. Gleefully, he produced a keychain from his bag — a burnished soccer medallion. A gift from his new friend and an apparent consecration of their shared bond.

There was more. A weathered piece of notebook paper from the child’s mother inscribed with her email address. Emphatically, my son insisted a playdate was in order. I assured him I would email shortly. “No,” he countered. “You have to write a note… in pencil. That’s more special.” Right. No email, no rosters, no Excel spreadsheets.

Sometimes I think our kids show up as mini-prophets when we need them most.

A year after our move I finally put on my big-girl yoga tights and tried that studio. Because our kids’ nimble little bodies — and hearts and minds — they do stretch. With so much more ease than ours. And so we, their parents, need to stretch with them, or — at the very least — move to the side when their reach extends beyond our own.

It’s Fine! We’re Fine! Everything’s Fine!

By

Amanda Rotondo

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October 30, 2019

How are things, you ask? Everything’s fine! You know, a little rocky here and there with the kids and all, but fine. It’s fine. It’ll all be fine!

So, Charlotte had a little bit of a rough start in kindergarten, but it’s totally fine — we’re working with the teacher and things are getting back on track.

Yeah, I guess during snack one day she opened up a portal to hell in the classroom. I know, right? Demons everywhere, kids being smitten, the whole shebang. The teacher asked her to close it up but her head started spinning so she ended up getting a “strike” for not doing that “whole body classroom listening” thing they do, and of course then she was super mad so refused to close it up. It’s a bit of a debacle since one of her little buddies ended up getting sucked in. Yeah, it was her reading partner so she’s been having to do reading time by herself, which she’s less than thrilled about. It sounds like the custodian stuck his head in and saw the little guy in a tattered old loincloth ferrying souls across the river Styx, accompanied by a three-headed dog.

It’ll be fine. It’s just a little crazy right now. You know how it goes. But other than that, she’s loving kindergarten, which is great. So that’s all fine.

Bobby? He’s fine — we just got to the other side of a major “monster truck” phase, which was pretty intense but so typical, right? Yeah, now he’s really into cocktails. I found him in the liquor cabinet one day and was like, “Whoa, dude, what are you doing?” ‘Cause he had some old colostrum containers out and was using them to measure out bourbon to make a Manhattan. He was standing up on a stepstool and really struggling with the big bottle — it was cute. I mean, I know it’s not the best thing for a 3-year-old to be into, but it’s fine. You know how kids are with phases.

We had to start taking the spark plugs out of the cars at night, which is a little annoying but totally fine, because he was sneaking out and driving down to the local bar to hang out with these other preschoolers who I guess are also really into cocktails. Well, they’re not really preschoolers — I think they’re like in their 50s. But the car thing? I mean, the kid’s gonna be an engineer, am I right? It’s so neat to watch their little personalities develop. So he’s fine.

The baby? Well, she’s not a baby anymore! She’s 18 months now and really big on asserting her independence, which is totally fine and expected. Yeah, she actually started crawling out of her crib and went out to join the family of raccoons that live in the big hollowed out oak tree on our side hill. I get a little nervous about her sleeping 40 feet up in the air, of course, but it’s fine. The mother raccoon seems really responsible so I’m sure they’ve got a system in place up there to make sure she doesn’t fall. She’s got some new brothers and sisters now, and it looks like they have a lot of fun. I mean, I see the trash scattered all over the driveway in the mornings, so I know she’s eating well and getting exercise.

Now that she’s nocturnal I am up all day with the older two and then she comes to visit when the diurnal ones are asleep, so I’m really only sleeping, like, 25-30 minutes a night, which isn’t a ton, but it’s fine. I thought the sleep deprivation was supposed to end once they’re not newborns anymore, right? Ha! HAHA! RIGHT?!?! I wasn’t sure how it was going to work with winter coming but I’ve noticed she’s starting to grow a thick gray and black pelt, which has a nice downy underlayer and is kind of oily to keep the rain off. So she’s fine.

Me? Oh, ya know — same old, same old. I’m working a little more than I’d like — probably around a hundred or so hours a week. I mean, they want me to work more but I’m like, “No.” I draw the line at 110 hours. Like, that’s it. I’m on this project where I have to push this giant rock up a hill, and every time I get close to the top it rolls back down. Like, by design. I don’t know who scoped this thing. It’s fine, but whenever I ask the project manager what the end date is she bellows, “This is your eternity,” in this really low, spooky voice, which is totally not helpful.

So beyond that, it’s just kid stuff, activities, some volunteering, you know. Charlotte’s in soccer, dance, Scouts, she takes piano, Spanish, Russian Math, art, fencing, heating and air conditioning repair, and this really neat club where every Thursday for about six hours I just drive her around town for no reason and with no particular destination, picking up and dropping off random kids back and forth at opposite ends of town, giving them juice boxes. Then Friday for another six hours I go back through the route dropping off all the things all the kids left in the car and scrubbing sticky juice stains off my upholstery. It’s hectic, but it’s all fine.

I had Bobby in a few things, but he really only wants to hang out at the bar. And I’d love to put the baby in something, but they don’t have a lot of kids’ classes at 2 a.m., so nothing is really working with her new schedule. We’ll get there, but for now it’s just fine how it is.

So, we’re fine. How about you?

Nature Is Our Favorite Playground

By

Shannon Gibson

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October 29, 2019

nature woods - Boston Moms Blog

Our favorite playground is not one with swings and monkey bars and colorful structures. No, our favorite playground is the woods. It is the place where my two littles, ages 3 and 1, are content to explore for hours on end. The more time we spend in nature, the more familiar it becomes to us. “Look over here — this is our path. This is our favorite tree. Remember when the beaver hadn’t gnawed through that tree trunk yet?”

The woods remain mostly unchanged, which is comforting to a family who has experienced change after change within our established time together. The woods bring peace as the cool breeze blows through the tall pines. The woods bring tranquility as the same breeze spreads mesmerizing ripples across the shimmering blue waters of the pond.

Once our feet step into our woodland wonderland, time will mean nothing while we are participants and witnesses to the splendor of our woods.

The pinecones are ready to be picked up. The pine needles have been anxiously awaiting our footsteps since the last time they cushioned our feet in the woods. Rocks the size of boulders invite us to climb upon their strength. We accept their invitation every single time. My 3-year-old has climbed the same rock no fewer than 10 times in the last 20 minutes. A neighboring rock hospitably allows me to rest and nurse my son.

These rocks were just boulders before; but now, I can feel their friendship. My preschooler’s energy, laughter, and joy have bonded her to her rock. My son’s baby coos and my sighs of relaxation have secured us to our rock.

There is life and warmth in what was merely seen as cold, lifeless stone before these rocks came to life for us.

My daughter climbs up and slides down… climbs up and jumps down… climbs up and sits on her rock to appreciate her triumph. This is better than any playground construct I could think to take her to. The fashioning of the rock into a playmate was her genius and nothing another human could imagine for her.

She did the work. She reaps the playful benefits.

As I finish nursing my son and set him down on the ground of soft pine needles, he pulls up on his sister’s rock. He cheers his sister on for now, but one day soon he will make rock friends that allow him to explore the depths of his imagination as well.

In the woods, there is no nagging. There is no ordering my toddler to “be here, do this, no, don’t do that.” Nature brings an element of freedom as my independent girl gets to lead our adventure and experience the sense of control she so strongly desires on a daily basis.

We put off leaving our new rock friends as long as possible but realize that we must reluctantly part ways for now. We thank the rocks for bringing us pleasure. As we walk away, I turn back and see that only our rocks are illuminated by bright sunshine. The other rocks sit in the shadows as our rocks beam in the sunshine at the joy that still lingers. This encounter allowed our souls to be deeply intertwined with the creation we were made to indulge in.

We leave in gratitude to the woods for hosting such a magnificent play date.

Our family’s favorite nature spot is Harold Parker State Forest in North Andover, but check out Boston Moms Blog’s 10 Favorite Boston Area Spots to Soak Up the Great Outdoors or Family Hikes Around Boston. When in doubt, pick a Massachusetts State Park! Let us know where you create your own outdoor family memories!

New Season, New You :: 7 Ways to Give Yourself a Fresh Start

By

Meredith Bazirgan

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October 28, 2019

Fall is the perfect time to celebrate a new year. Especially for us moms. It’s our chance to embrace the change of seasons and reset or, in some cases, renew, our intentions and goals. Let’s not wait until the official new year to make a fresh start and accomplish what we’ve set out to do.

As a therapist and a life coach, I’m the first person to say that if we want to make changes in our lives, it starts with internal (versus external) shifts. That said, though, getting my hair chopped off this fall felt symbolically and physically freeing for me. It’s lighter. It’s minimal. And it goes with my mantra this fall of letting go.

Here are some other tips (beyond setting intentions) to give yourself a fresh new start.

Adopt a mantra that will bring you back to center.

This can be a few sentences, even, that you can recite as needed, and regularly, to remind you that you’re right where you need to be. That you’re engaged in and focused on what’s important in your life.

Plan and take a retreat, no matter how mini.

This can be as involved or as basic as you want and need for it to be. I’ve done one-night getaways that included driving an hour north to my parents’ house, grabbing coffee with a friend, doing some journaling, and maybe hitting the beach. Very low cost but a HUGE boost in my energy and in my return to self.

Plan something to look forward to.

Currently, I’m planning to attend a retreat in November. I also have a dancing night out with girlfriends planned for my birthday weekend. Studies show we cultivate many positive feelings when we have something to look forward to, no matter how small.

Declutter.

Your thoughts. Your closet. Your relationships. Anything that doesn’t serve you. Whatever it is, let it go. It will bring you clarity and it may open up the door for something else, be it a new emotion, person, or comfortable and cute pair of shoes to rock this fall.

Make INTERNAL shifts, versus external shifts.

So no judgment here if you want to buy that new pair of shoes this fall (see above), but if you want to really make changes, take a look at your mindset. Are your thoughts serving you, or is it time to replace them with new ones? Our thoughts lead to our feelings which lead to our actions which lead to the results we create in our lives. Make them count.

Follow the stars.

My personal favorite for astrology is Chani Nicholas. Whether you believe it or not, it can be a great way to see which nudges you’re feeling that may lead you to more motivation for that next goal. Which leads me to my last tip…

Initiate and/or complete a goal.

Maybe you’ve been wanting to run that 5K. I did an October half marathon with some friends in a beautiful town, and it had me upping my running game!

We still have a couple of months before the new calendar year, so let’s crush it with a fresh start! Above all else, remember that you’re already more than enough: Embrace your gifts, and just be you.