My son Aaron is hilarious, snuggly, sweet, energetic, beautiful, and all boy. He has eyelashes people would pay thousands for and a mop of thick, heavy hair. He wakes up ready to go, but he also loves to curl up and read or be read to. He loves exploring new places and being a doting big brother. He loves all animals and superheroes. He is very much a boy. My little boy.
Except he’s not so little.
Aaron was born a respectable 7 pounds, 1 ounce. He grew at a normal rate and always fit into age-appropriate baby clothing. But around his first birthday, the growth spurts started — and they haven’t stopped! Aaron began to tower over all of his friends. He grew taller and taller. His pants got too short. His shirts became belly shirts. We went shopping for more clothes. Again. And he keeps on growing. My husband and I aren’t exceptionally tall people, yet Aaron is off the charts for height and has been for years. At the age of 4, he’s wearing clothes made for a 7-year-old.
There are no concerns from my doctor, thankfully — he’s just a big kid. But I’m starting to notice that Aaron sometimes can’t quite find his place. He loves his friends in his school class and at camp. LOVES them. They are his peers and are socially and emotionally his equals. Except he is a full head taller than some of them!
It’s where Aaron isn’t an equal that things get a little tricky. For example, at the playground older kids will want to play with him because they think he is their age. Aaron can’t quite hang, though. They use words and expressions he doesn’t understand and play games with rules too complicated for him. A volunteer at the aquarium will approach him and attempt to explain things way beyond his comprehension. He doesn’t quite get it, but they assume he’s older — and therefore a little wiser.
Parents look at me with concern and questions in their eyes when Aaron can’t maneuver the bigger kids’ playground with as much ease as kids his size. I find myself defending him — “Well, he’s only 4.”
When adults speak to Aaron and he doesn’t respond the way an older child should, I get those looks. “He’s only 4 years old,” I say.
Those times he’s a bit confused by directions that are a little too advanced, I find myself saying, “Aaron, did you tell this nice lady how old you are?”
I don’t know why I care. He’s big — so what? To me, he’s just my little boy. My really tall little boy. One day the growth spurts will slow down, and he’ll be the same size as his friends. He’ll know where he fits in, and he won’t have to question whether he can or should play with certain kids, or which playground is a more appropriate fit. Until then, we’ll do our best to make him comfortable in his own skin. He’s proud to be “really, really tall,” and we hope he continues knowing how special he is, no matter his size.
My first 3 sons were always off the charts for height from age 1. They have experienced much of what you describe. People expect more from them since they are so tall and look older. It actually got trickier as they aged. My 14 yr old is 6’1″ and needs to shave so he is often mistaken for 16+. My 16 yr old finally stopped growing (we think) and many of his friends caught up so now he doesn’t stand out in a crowd as much
I’m so glad others know what it’s like. There’s nothing you can do about it, and you hope it doesn’t bother them either!
One of my brothers was just huge (he was even born huge). People always thought he and I were twins because even though I was older, we were similar sizes when we were young. By seventh grade he was already 6’3″, my parents were worried he would become a height that would make his life harder than it had to be, but then he just stopped. He got all his height by 7th grade. Meanwhile my other brother who was always just average size is now the tallest brother.
By the way, my daughter went to school with Aaron before you moved. He does absolutely have the most incredible eyelashes!
Isn’t that crazy how it works out?
Thank you! Who is your daughter?
Rosemary
oh, she is such a sweetheart!
We have a daughter that is off the charts. She is 2.5 and looks 4 or 5. What you are describing is 100% true. People think it’s weird that I’m buying 5 in girl’s clothes for my 2.5 year old and treat her like she is that age. She always ends up playing with older kids and doesn’t quite fit in. Luckily she is very social and smart, but there are times when I do feel for her. I know eventually it will change, but it is tough to be so big when you are little.
it’s hard not to hurt for them, even though they don’t get it!
How tall is your son? My son just turned four in May and is 45 inches. He towers over most of his friends too. It was particularly bad at two when he was acting like a two year old but the size of a four year old.
45 inches as well. He turns 5 in October. I get it!
Totally get it! My little guy is off the charts already and is only 1.5. Older kids at the playground always try to play with him and then wonder why he can’t talk (or just shouts “rock” and “truck” and nothing more). I always want to pipe up “he’s only 1.5!”
The good/bad news is that my teacher friend has said that grown ups will always expect more from him because of his size. I think we often underestimate kids, so I’m hoping he continually rises to the occasion. Plus, when all else fails, I remind myself that most CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are 6 foot tall or higher 🙂
Here’s hoping!
My best friend goes through this with her 2 year old. Even I sometimes have to remind myself he is only 2!
I sometimes have to remind myself Aaron is only 4!
This is MY FOUR YEAR OLD!! I could have written this same blog post and I know I’ve complained about this exact “issue” to my friends. Teddy was born at 7 lbs. 14 oz (his lowest weight was 6 lbs. 6 oz) – today he stands a little more than 47-inches and 60-lbs. Sadly he also has a speech disorder; which just add to the looks. (He even has the super incredible eyelashes.) Reading this post made me smile and cry.
I’m so glad you can relate! Boys and their eyelashes, right?
Aaron’s got a bit of a speech problem too, so I’m right there with you!
My daughter was born 11 lbs 3 oz, 21.5 inches long. She is now a little past 2 years old and 37 inches tall, 34 lbs, wearing a size 5t+. She is not fat, just tall with chubby baby thighs. People always think she is older than she is and when I tell them she’s only 2, they make the “wow, big girl” and “she looks like she’s at least 4” comments. She also has a speech delay so I get weird looks when other people are around and think she’s mute or something. I worry for her self-esteem when she gets a little older. I don’t want her to develop any insecurities because of her size, but advertising and the media all say differently.
My son turned 16 in March. He has always been tall. In January of this year, he became critically, near fatally ill with a staph infection that lead to septic shock and, ultimately, to open heart surgery and aortic valve replacement. And yet, he continues to grow! Currently, he is a breath away from 6’11” and has size 19 EEEE feet! Finding ANYTHING that fits (and very little does) is no easy task. I have written to professional basketball players and their managers – trying to just fine places for us to buy clothes, shoes and socks. Sadly, none have been very helpful. I’ve spent hours researching clothing online, only the come away frustrated and realize that Big & Tall means mostly BIG. I can find pants with a 60″ waist, but nothing longer than a 38″ inseam. “Big” size socks MIGHT go to size 17. It’s a never-ending challenge!
I’m so glad to hear he came through all that healthy…and growing!
I could have written this 2 years ago about my daughter! She’s now 6 and stands almost to my shoulders at 52″. She just started first grade at public school and I worry about the older kids on the school bus, but so far she’s doing okay. She’s always been really eloquent, which almost made it harder because older kids couldn’t understand why she looked & talked like them but was too immature/inexperienced to play their games.