My son Aaron is hilarious, snuggly, sweet, energetic, beautiful, and all boy. He has eyelashes people would pay thousands for and a mop of thick, heavy hair. He wakes up ready to go, but he also loves to curl up and read or be read to. He loves exploring new places and being a doting big brother. He loves all animals and superheroes. He is very much a boy. My little boy.
Except he’s not so little.
Aaron was born a respectable 7 pounds, 1 ounce. He grew at a normal rate and always fit into age-appropriate baby clothing. But around his first birthday, the growth spurts started — and they haven’t stopped! Aaron began to tower over all of his friends. He grew taller and taller. His pants got too short. His shirts became belly shirts. We went shopping for more clothes. Again. And he keeps on growing. My husband and I aren’t exceptionally tall people, yet Aaron is off the charts for height and has been for years. At the age of 4, he’s wearing clothes made for a 7-year-old.
There are no concerns from my doctor, thankfully — he’s just a big kid. But I’m starting to notice that Aaron sometimes can’t quite find his place. He loves his friends in his school class and at camp. LOVES them. They are his peers and are socially and emotionally his equals. Except he is a full head taller than some of them!
It’s where Aaron isn’t an equal that things get a little tricky. For example, at the playground older kids will want to play with him because they think he is their age. Aaron can’t quite hang, though. They use words and expressions he doesn’t understand and play games with rules too complicated for him. A volunteer at the aquarium will approach him and attempt to explain things way beyond his comprehension. He doesn’t quite get it, but they assume he’s older — and therefore a little wiser.
Parents look at me with concern and questions in their eyes when Aaron can’t maneuver the bigger kids’ playground with as much ease as kids his size. I find myself defending him — “Well, he’s only 4.”
When adults speak to Aaron and he doesn’t respond the way an older child should, I get those looks. “He’s only 4 years old,” I say.
Those times he’s a bit confused by directions that are a little too advanced, I find myself saying, “Aaron, did you tell this nice lady how old you are?”
I don’t know why I care. He’s big — so what? To me, he’s just my little boy. My really tall little boy. One day the growth spurts will slow down, and he’ll be the same size as his friends. He’ll know where he fits in, and he won’t have to question whether he can or should play with certain kids, or which playground is a more appropriate fit. Until then, we’ll do our best to make him comfortable in his own skin. He’s proud to be “really, really tall,” and we hope he continues knowing how special he is, no matter his size.
Totally understand this! My 3.5 yr old daughter has been wearing 5/6 clothes for months…things her 7yr old sister wore last year! She experiences many of the things you described. She also has a speech delay where her enunciation is not quite up to her peers, which many people think is worse than it is, just because they think she is older. I
ts frustrating to hear people say, “Wow! What a BIG girl!”. She’s not big! She’s slender and trim…and tall.
This is great, thanks for writing! My daughter is 2.3 and was 37″ at 2. She has a large vocabulary and is mistaken for 3-4. It doesn’t help that she’s cautious physically, so at playgrounds people get confused. I try to encourage her, but it’s hard. I’m 6’1 and was about 36″ at a year! My mom has a picture of me where I look 3 and it says 9 months. Needless to say, my childhood was challenging! In 4th grade, I was as tall as my teacher. Height seems to be more common, so at least finding clothes should be easier as our big kids get bigger!
I can so relate! My little boy just turned 6 yesterday, and at his kindergarten physical he measured 51″ and 75lbs! Fortunately he is very gentle with smaller children and can also hang with older kids, but I worry about him standing out so much in school and people having higher expectations of him. He was 8lb 14oz and 21.5″ at birth, but measured within normal limits until after his first birthday. The growth spurts are never-ending! I just hope he feels comfortable in his own skin as well.
All 3 of my kids are super tall and have been big since birth (my husband is 6’4″). The hardest part was with my middle child. She was a late talker and at age 2 had yet to have spoken more then a handful of words. She, however, could pass for a 3 1/2 year old easily. People would talk to her all the time and then look offended when she didn’t answer. I had to explain that she was only two and didn’t know how to talk yet.
We have a Facebook group called Parents of 90th+ Percentile Babies/Toddlers/Children. Mostly we just vent about having to buy new pants and the weird things strangers say to us. Please join.
thank you!
this is my sweet boy as well! he’s 3.5 and i’m about to start breaking out the 6’s i have for him! i think he grew about 2 inches in the last 2 months. and like most of you, he has speech issues. slow to start with speech and also very cautious on playgrounds. older kids ask why he does this or that, and i just tell them, even though he is your size he is still 2-3 younger than you. i joke that he will be taller than me by the time he hits junior high and taller than his daddy (6’4″) by freshman year. i do not look forward to the days where i have to buy new clothes/shoes 2 months after just buying him the same thing. too the tall little ones out there!!!!!!
So glad I’m not the only one dealing with this! My son will turn 2 in just a couple weeks and has been wearing 4t pants since he was 15 months old! (And they’re starting to get a little tight on him) He has been tall ever since he was born and it hurts when I hear older kids at the playground refer to him as “the giant baby”. He’s still so little to me!
I totally get this! Our twin boys will also be 5 in October, and they have always been off the charts. J is bigger than L, so somehow L feels like a runt even though he is at the top of the growth chart. I have definitely experienced the struggle with people assuming they are older because they are bigger, but I have also run into problems with kids who are the same age but smaller. J is a little overly physical, and I worry that he will wrestle with smaller kids and hurt them. They are starting preschool in September, so that will be the first test. I’m sure everything will be fine, but moms worry! 🙂 Thanks for posting!
I have two polar opposites. My oldest boy is 3 1/2 and the size of a 6 year old. My youngest boy was a NICU/PICU baby and Failure to Thrive for the first 4 months of his life. He is 2 and barely fits in 18 month old clothes because they fall off of him. I find myself defending them both for different reasons. I dread the growth charts but am happy to know that both of my boys are healthy now and growing at their own pace!
It’s nice to hear from people in the same situation – my whole family is very tall and both of our sons are off the charts….our oldest is 2 1/2 and looks like he’s 4/5….. the usual comment is “he’s a big boy, but then again you’re tall too” never in a negative way and he has a heart of gold so comes off to strangers as very sweet too…and our 16 month old is as big as your average 2-3 year old so the two of them together are quite a pair LOL!!
I skim over a lot of these posts on Facebook but thought I’d comment on this one.