The Power of the Morning Meeting… at Home

morning meeting home - Boston Moms

For those of us whose kids have attended (or up until recently were attending) preschool or elementary school, the phrase “morning meeting” will likely sound familiar. Whether you have heard this before or this is the first time, I hope this will be useful as you try to maintain some semblance of structure — strict or loose — at home these days.

What is a morning meeting?

Starting the day with a ritual that gets everyone ready to tackle the tasks of the day is a great tool. Our little ones tend to have morning meeting every day at school before the more formal learning begins, even if it is play-based learning. Some of our children might be having virtual morning meetings now that they are learning from home. But establishing a daily (Monday–Friday) morning meeting that the whole family participates in is going to be useful no matter what, and it can help you get a sense of how everyone is doing at an emotional level, given the current health crisis.

A morning meeting typically looks like people sitting in a circle or at the table and taking turns sharing something with the group. People might share how they’re doing, what they are looking forward to on that particular day, or perhaps answer a specific question posed by that day’s morning meeting leader.

In my home, we rotate who is the leader, although we do not force anyone to lead if they are not comfortable with the role. Sometimes we simply check in, and sometimes we ask and answer a specific question. On Thursdays we do show and tell — another school ritual the kids have enjoyed transferring to the home-based learning experience.

How can the morning meeting help in these uncertain times?

I don’t know about you, but I find it incredibly difficult to pull useful emotional information out of my kids quite often. They, like many adults, think that saying “good,” “OK,” and “fine” is sharing their feelings. But I’m a personal development and self-awareness junkie, so I always try to find new ways to get them to understand how our true emotions are much deeper than those words. It is not an easy feat.

But we are living a very uncertain reality these days with the global COVID-19 pandemic, and whether we want to admit it or not, it has turned all of our worlds upside down. Ignoring that reality is not healthy in the long run, even if your family is one of the fortunate families that have not yet had to face financial or health struggles. So planning ahead for specific open-ended questions to utilize during morning meeting every day can help you get a clearer sense of how everyone, including you, is feeling and what everyone may or may not need.

Additionally, it establishes a level of certainty in an otherwise confusing daily reality. Everyone knows morning meeting will be happening, and everyone knows after morning meeting the day starts, whether there will be schoolwork to do, or playtime, or chores.

What are some questions we can ask during morning meeting?

This might be an easy Google or Pinterest search for you. But I’d love to recommend some questions you can start with. You do not always have to be the one asking the questions, by the way. You can make small pieces of paper, each with a question written in them, and put them in a clear bowl or hat for each day’s leader to pull out and ask everyone else. If your kids cannot read, they can still pull out the piece of paper and one of the adults can read it out loud.

  • What is one thing you would love to do today?
  • What is one thing you would like to change about this virus situation?
  • If you could teach any class in school, what would it be?
  • What is something you love about yourself?
  • What are three words you can use to describe yourself?
  • What has been your favorite day at home so far?
  • What do you think life will be like in the future?

A few mom-owned businesses actually sell “table talk” cards that you can use for this or for when everyone is sitting down at the dinner table, for example. One of these is the Mama May I shop, and you can find their table talk deck here (this is not an affiliate link or an ad — just a customer recommendation).

I truly hope you’ll consider giving morning meeting a try! If anything, the kids will say, “We do this at school too!” and get excited about sharing what they are used to doing every day, giving you insight into what they may be missing most.

Meet the Nominees! :: Boston’s Super Mom on the Front Lines

Boston's Super Mom Frontlines - Boston Moms
While all moms are certainly carrying a heavier load these days as we navigate our new normal, moms who are working on the front lines during this pandemic are carrying exponentially more. To us, they are SUPER. This is our opportunity to honor and celebrate their contributions to our community and to cheer them on as they continue to do this important work at home and on the front lines. 
 
These deserving moms were nominated by their husbands, best friends, co-workers, children, childcare providers, and neighbors. Join us as we cheer these incredible moms on and thank them for their service to our community.
 
Read more about each nominee below. We’ll announce the five finalists soon!

Marissa Bisbe :: Anesthesiologist at Holy Family Hospital

About Marissa:

Marissa is an incredibly devoted mom and doctor. She is a fun and caring mom to two girls, ages 10 and 13. Beyond bringing daily joy to her immediate family, she is a silly and thoughtful sister and daughter. She is an anesthesiologist with a specific leadership role as head of OB anesthesia. She treats all her patients and colleagues with the same love she brings to her family.

Why is Marissa a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Marissa works at Holy Family Hospital. Prior to and throughout the COVID crisis, she has advocated for her patients and her colleagues. She has ensured that pregnant moms feel safe and confident delivering during this time and helped treat and comfort COVID-positive patients in the ICU. She is fierce and she has the biggest heart — both qualities making her an incredible mom and doctor.

Laura Chambers-White :: Oncology Nurse at Mass General Hospital

About Laura:

Laura is the most amazing mom and nurse. She has been working hard while taking care of her two small daughters. She went back to work after maternity leave right as COVID-19 took over our world. She is the most thoughtful and caring friend. I know many people who have said she cared for their loved ones while battling cancer and how wonderful she was to them. She always keeps her head up!

Why is Laura a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Laura is selfless and continues to do her job no matter what happens around her. As patients come in with COVID and cancer, Laura continues to do her best to help them and keep them comfortable. After this, she goes home to be the best mom ever!

Christine Bletzer :: Nurse at New England Baptist Hospital

About Christine:

Christine is an amazing mama to her two beautiful babes, Connie and Hadley. Her little ones are only 15 months apart, which means she is EXTRA busy! She works 12-hour shifts at the hospital and then comes home to jump right into her job as a mom. Christine is an amazing friend, wife, and mother. I’m proud to call her my friend.

Why is Christine a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Christine is an RN who works at New England Baptist Hospital, primarily doing elective surgeries. In mid-March Christine was told NEBH would become a satellite location for Beth Israel Hospital’s emergency room. Christine and the other nurses jumped into a week of clinicals to sharpen their skills in emergency medicine. She was not prepared to be an emergency nurse but stepped up to the role!

Catherine Camacho :: Nurse Practitioner in Assisted Living Facilities

About Catherine:

Catherine is a geriatric nurse practitioner who travels to several long-term facilities to address patients’ health needs in their facilities. She’s also a mom to two young boys and helping them navigate distance learning. At work, she is on the front lines of the battle against COVID-19, protecting some of our most vulnerable population with precious little personal protective equipment. In addition to working full time, she is also an avid volunteer, most recently running an event that raised over $25k for local nonprofits.

Why is Catherine a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Catherine has a big heart and develops close relationships with her patients and their families. Healthcare is more than a job; it’s her calling. She was on the patient side several years ago when she lost her father to cancer and wants to show other families the same TLC her father received. She’s had several “worst weeks ever” since mid-March and shows no signs of stopping.

Esmerelda Ciano :: Registered Nurse at Brigham and Women’s Hospital

About Esmerelda:

Esmerelda is an amazing mom of three boys as well as a registered nurse at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, where she teaches BLS and AED certification. She is also furthering her own education while working full time and being a mom!

Why is Esmerelda a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

She goes above and beyond. No matter what, Esmerelda is constantly giving her all to care for others. She is an amazing person, and if anyone deserves to be honored for her dedication, it is her!

Jackie Coakley :: Nurse at Mass General Hospital

About Jackie:

Jackie is a nurse at MGH and the mom of a 7-month-old baby. She’s been working long days to support her family, as her husband has been laid off from his position in the restaurant industry. Even through all of this, Jackie is full of happiness and hope and is a wonderful mom!

Why is Jackie a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Jackie is an amazing nurse and an amazing mom. She’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, but you would never know it. She’s absolutely incredible.

Michelle Conrad :: Medical Assistant

About Michelle:

Michelle is an amazingly caring and selfless person. She truly embodies the spirit of being a “mom friend.” No matter what you need or when you need it, Michelle is there. She never hesitates to offer a ride to her kids’ friends, a listening ear, or a surprise bottle of wine on your front porch when she knows you’ve had a rough day.

Why is Michelle a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Michelle works on the front lines as a medical assistant in a pediatric practice. She selflessly puts herself at risk because she cares deeply about the welfare of her young patients. Even though she is working tirelessly, she still finds the time to check in on her friends and do sweet things like drive-by cheer ups — beeping, waving, and tossing candy out of her car windows onto their front lawns! She rarely takes the time to do things for herself, and she deserves the chance to treat herself for a change!

Alexi D’Ambrosio :: Respiratory Therapist at Mass General Hospital

About Alexi:

Alexi is the mom of 5-year-old twins. She works as a respiratory therapist at Massachusetts General Hospital. Her husband is also working on the front lines, serving as a Boston police officer! 

Why is Alexi a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Alexi is a super mom because of her bravery. She and her husband are both working on the front lines and still find the time to be amazing parents to their children!

Courtney Dahlgren :: Nurse

About Courtney:

Courtney is a nurse in the Newton-Wellesley Hospital network. Though she is usually a nurse for a small practice, she has been working on the front line, covering the coronavirus floor. She is also a mom to three kids ranging in age from toddler to preteen, an amazing crafter, and a caring friend.

Why is Courtney a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Courtney is working in the career she is meant to be in: nursing. Not only is she caring for patients on the front line, she is also caring for her own three kids at home, each of whom has a weakened immune system. Although she is afraid of bringing COVID home to her family, she wants to help others as much as possible.

Rebecca Damaa :: ICU Nurse at Good Samaritan Hospital

About Rebecca:

Becky is an ICU nurse who risks her life to treat COVID-19 patients. She’s also a mom to two young girls (4 and 6 years old). When she’s not kicking butt at work, she’s wrangling her children to do schoolwork and attend karate and dance, training for Tough Mudders, cooking up a storm to entertain family and friends, taking photos, and sharing memes. Becky is always doing something, usually for someone else.

Why is Rebecca a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Becky has given so much of herself “just doing her job.” Her kids can’t sleep, worried they saw their mom for the last time. But she doesn’t consider herself a hero: When someone offers her thanks or help she passes it on to someone else she feels deserves it more. Becky deserves to be recognized for all she has given up as a nurse on the front lines!

Donna Donaghey :: Nursing Supervisor

About Donna:

Donna is a mother of five children who works two jobs and loves swimming. In addition to raising her own children, she also serves as caregiver for her own mother. She has been a nurse for over 20 years and treats each and every one of her patients with the care and love with which she raised her own children. 

Why is Donna a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

As a nurse, Donna has dedicated herself to providing the best care to everyone. In light of this pandemic we are living in, she contracted COVID-19 while working in a nursing home in South Boston. Despite her own battle with this disease, she has vowed to return to work to help more patients. She is an amazingly selfless person who provides exceptional care to those around her.

Dorothy Deblasi :: Registered Nurse

About Dorothy:

Working side by side with Dorothy has shown that she is an incredible nurse, friend, and mother! She is dedicated to the well-being of her patients and is a devoted mother.

Why is Dorothy a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Dorothy is so deserving of this giveaway! She is always helpful and eager to offer a helping hand to others. Her positive attitude keeps her coworkers and patients alike in good spirits during this tough time.

Stacey Dunn :: Emergency Room Physicians Assistant

About Stacey:

Stacey is Super Mom to three beautiful girls, ages 9, 3, and 2. Not only does she rock as a mom on a daily basis, she is also on the front lines working in the emergency room, admitting COVID patients as well as caring for a wide variety of other patients who come in each shift.

Why is Stacey a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Stacey is a rock star. It’s amazing watching her raise our three young girls as she also fulfills her obligations as a physicians assistant in the emergency room — all without skipping a beat. She deserves to be honored for her hard work and dedication!

Nicole Grady :: Medical Director/Neonatologist

About Nicole: 

Nicole is a kind, funny, and creative mom. Although she has a busy work schedule as a neonatologist, she always makes time for her daughter. Whether it be crafts and games or help with reading, Nicole is always there. On top of this, she built a successful local baking business, Sweet Mazie’s, even while progressing through breast cancer treatments over the past four years. She can do it all.

Why is Nicole a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Nicole has dedicated her life to the service of others and the public good. As medical director of Mount Auburn’s newborn services and as medical faculty BIDMC, she cares for our vulnerable premature infants. Recently, she led the way for Mount Auburn’s neonatal COVID-19 response. All of this while not missing a beat caring for and enriching the life of her very rambunctious 7-year-old!

Amanda Haimaidi :: Emergency Room Nurse at Brigham and Women’s Hospital

About Amanda: 

Amanda is the mom of Maeve (3) and Griffin (2). She has been working 12-hour shifts in the Brigham and Women’s ER, swabbing patients in their ambulance bay test site and caring for patients who are COVID positive. She has helped ailing patients make final Facetime calls to loved ones before being put on ventilators and has eased the minds of many lonely, scared patients fighting the virus alone.

Why is Amanda a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Amanda’s husband, Derek is a firefighter/emergency medical technician in their hometown of Abington. They alternate working shifts to ensure that one of them is always home to take care of their children, because they do not want to risk exposing their family or friends to the virus they are both exposed to on a daily basis.  

Katherine Harkin :: Physicians Assistant in the Neurology ICU at UMass Memorial

About Katherine:

Kate is an amazing wife and wonderful mother to three wee ones, Maebh (4.5), Rowan (2.5), and Caden (4 months). She started back at work at the beginning of the pandemic and has been balancing work and family like a champ for the past four weeks. She works in the neuro ICU helping patients with some of the most perilous diseases and conditions a patient could face.

Why is Katherine a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Kate is a selfless, genuine, and helpful person who deserves a massive shout out for everything she does. Despite being a Type 1 diabetic, she is on the front lines working 14-hour shifts in the neuro ICU, and then bouncing back home to help feed a mob of kids each day. She is definitely deserving of a wee break from the chaos! She is amazing!

(Special note from Kate’s family: I don’t say it often enough — I LOVE YOU!)

Kacey Henderson :: Registered Nurse, Emergency Department

About Kacey:

This mother to four is humble, kind, optimistic, helpful, gritty, and hysterical! If you need perspective, Kacey is your girl! She is constantly sacrificing out of love and commitment to her family, friends, and community. Kacey has accomplished so much in the past decade! She became a mother fresh out of high school, put herself through nursing school, married, had three more amazing kids, and finished nurse practitioner school just this month!

Why is Kacey a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Kacey is a selfless and compassionate caregiver on the front line of this crisis. She has spent the past few months in dedicated service to her community as an ER nurse while assisting two of her children in online learning and maintaining as much normalcy as possible for her young family. She did this all while completing nurse practitioner school! She always has a smile on her face and never hesitates to reach out a lending hand to others! She is incredible!

Justine Hoyt :: Nursing Home Nurse

About Justine:

Justine is the mother of two kids under 3 years old. She has been working the front lines of COVID-19 at a nursing home, caring for elderly patients who have been hit hardest by the virus. She has been there, lovingly caring for patients whose families are unable to be with them during their last days. 

Why is Justine a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Justine has been working tirelessly to take care of her patients and then coming home to be an amazing mom to her children.

Elizabeth Hurton :: Nurse

About Elizabeth:

Elizabeth is the mother of two daughters, whom she is totally dedicated to. She devotes every available moment to their care and development. Elizabeth’s unique understanding of her children has focused on their emotional, social, and intellectual development. No matter how busy the schedule, the one constant theme is love. Elizabeth continuously gives of herself.

Why is Elizabeth a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Elizabeth is an infusion nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital. She administers experimental chemo drugs to critically ill cancer patients. This is an extremely challenging profession in the best of times but has become even more challenging during the recent COVID pandemic. Elizabeth is very compassionate, skilled, and dedicated to her patients.

Meredith Kresser :: Nurse at Brockton Hospital

About Meredith:

Meredith is a nurse on the front line of this pandemic at Brockton Hospital. She is a new mom and working hard to keep everyone else’s families safe and healthy. She is an amazing sister, mother, and nurse.

Why is Meredith a Super Mom in the Front Lines?

Meredith puts her patients first. She has been working long hours treating patients on the COVID-19 floor and has spent a great deal of time away from her own infant to care for others. She has jeopardized her safety to help others and is deserving of recognition!

Anshu Kumari :: Pediatrician

About Anshu: 

Anshu is a fun-loving, amazing woman. Kids adore her, and she is always striving to help others. Anshu has the biggest heart and is the kindest, most beautiful woman, inside and out. 

Why is Anshu a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Anshu is an amazing mother and an exceptional, dedicated pediatrician. She was offered the opportunity to not serve during the pandemic but chose instead to continue treating children. When asked why she chose to put herself at risk, she responded, “If I don’t, who will take care of my other kids?”  

Meghan Lucas :: Case Manager

About Meghan:

Meghan is a registered nurse who works as case manager in the Stoneham and Medford dialysis clinics run by Fresenius Medical Care, where she has worked for the last (almost) nine years. Meg will be married to her high-school sweetheart Mike for six years this June, and together they have their 2.5-year-old daughter Claire. Meghan is hardworking and is very dedicated to her family and patients.

Why is Meghan a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Not just during this time of the pandemic, but always, Meghan is a go-to leader for her colleagues and liaison between doctors and patients. Her role at work has altered a bit because she is also testing patients and employees who are suspected to have the virus. She again has stepped up to the plate taking on this major responsibility. On top of it all, she is a fantastic and loving mom and auntie!

Katie Mahoney :: Cardiac Intensive Care Unit Nurse

About Katie:

Katie Mahoney is a mother of three and lives in Hanson, MA. She has been a nurse since she graduated from Northeastern University. She has three beautiful children, Calleigh (11), Conor (9), and Charlotte (5). Katie is devoted mother and wife who enjoys spending time with her family, traveling, camping, and skiing.

Why is Katie a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Katie’s unit at Boston Medical Center is 100% COVID-19 patients. She was scared. Her family was scared. Yet every day she shows up with strength and grace. She sacrifices snuggles and hugs with her children. She sleeps apart from her family. She shares intimate FaceTime calls with complete strangers because that is the only way her patients’ loved ones can say one last goodbye. This is her new norm. She is a HERO!

Alanna Mallon :: Food For Free’s K-12 Lead, Vice Mayor of Cambridge

About Alanna:

Alanna Mallon is vice mayor of Cambridge and city councillor as well as Food For Free’s K-12 lead. She is the founder of the Cambridge Weekend Backpack Program and has helped start up scores of other backpack programs throughout the country to help make sure kids have enough to eat on the weekends. If that wasn’t enough, her most important job is being mom to her two children.

Why is Alanna a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Alanna is a force for good in Cambridge. As vice mayor, she works non-stop to help Cambridge residents in need find food, diapers, and more. She runs Food For Free’s volunteer efforts in partnership with the Cambridge Public Schools’ school meals distribution program to ensure that Cambridge kids have enough to eat during this crisis.

Kancie Marshall :: ER Nurse at North Shore Medical Center

About Kancie:

It’s been Kancie’s lifelong dream to be a nurse. She finally completed her studies three years ago while singlehandedly raising her two daughters. She’s an awesome nurse and an amazing, fun mom. I honestly don’t know how she does it! 

Why is Kancie a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Kancie is an emergency room nurse at the North Shore Medical Center, one of the busiest suburban emergency rooms in the Boston area. This hospital has been showcased on the news for its lack of personal protective equipment. Even during this unprecedented, crazy time, Kancie’s commitment to helping people has not wavered, and she remains dedicated to the well-being of her patients every day!

Jaimie Medina :: Nurse

About Jaimie:

Jaimie is a nurse at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. She is a vibrant and warm person and a blessing of a friend. She had a long and difficult journey to motherhood, but she and her husband welcomed a beautiful daughter named Maroula, who is the light of their lives. 

Why is Jaimie a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Jaimie has been amazingly supportive of her fellow healthcare workers and the patients in her care during this pandemic. She is active on social media when she’s not at work, helping to educate and comfort people who are scared or are looking for answers during an uncertain time. Jaimie does an incredible amount for her family and friends, and it would be amazing to see her get to treat herself for a change!

Leah Murnane :: Anesthesiologist

About Leah:

Leah married her high school sweetheart, and together they have three beautiful children, ages 2, 4, and 6. She is an amazingly selfless, loving, kind-hearted and smart human. Even before this virus, she worked tirelessly to help everyone around her. Since the start of COVID, she has balanced parenting and worked to the point of exhaustion, yet she still puts the needs of others before her own. 

Why is Leah a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Leah works on the front line in Boston as an anesthesiologist. She spends her days working to insert tubes into COVID positive patients, and having to reuse her masks due to the shortage of personal protective equipment. Leah works 24-hour shifts, and though she lives in fear of bringing the virus home to her babies, she never complains. She is also heartbroken that her father is dying of cancer and she is unable to see him for fear of transmitting the virus to him. She deserves to be recognized for her dedication and for her sacrifice.

Kirsten Newell :: Registered Nurse at Newton-Wellesley Hospital

About Kirsten:

Kirsten is a registered nurse at Newton-Wellesley Hospital and has been caring for patients with COVID-19 in the ICU.

Why is Kirsten a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Kirsten is hard working, compassionate, and the nurse anyone would want to have for themselves. Most importantly, she is the nurse you would want to have for your loved one in their time of need. She is the kind of daughter that makes a parent proud and is, without question, her parents’ hero. She is an amazing daughter, wife, mother, friend, and person.

Anne Pizzano :: Certified Child Life Specialist

About Anne:

Anne has experienced tragic loss in her personal life and has always cared more about children than herself. She’s the proud mother of Leo and Oliver and resides in the North End in Boston with her husband James and the boys. She’s worked at Massachusetts General Hospital for over 15 years as a child life specialist — one of the most important roles in pediatric healthcare.

Why is Anne a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

She is the most generous, selfless, loving mother and worker I’ve ever met. She walks to work each day, mask in hand, ready to help anyone on the pediatric units and be “their person” when visitors are not allowed. For years she has seen such devastation, yet works tirelessly to create joy in each patient. She meets celebrities often but refuses to be in those pictures because it’s not about her.

Marla Purciello :: Head Cardiac Nurse at Tufts Medical Center

About Marla:

Marla is amazing! She is a dedicated night shift nurse in Boston and wife and mother of two children. She cares deeply about her family, her patients, her community, and her friends. She works hard. She’s a marathon runner, and has a few Boston Marathons under her belt. She is funny, down to earth, and someone you can always count on. Anyone who knows Marla loves her.

Why is Marla a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Marla has been on the front line of this pandemic since it began, consistently working in conditions that are both scary and heartbreaking. After making sure her patients are well cared for, she returns home to her family and is an amazing mom!

Kelley Reno :: Licensed Practical Nurse

About Kelley:

Kelley is a mom of two beautiful kids. She went back to school after her children were born to get her nursing license and balanced motherhood, working, and attending nursing school for two years as she worked toward her LPN!

Why is Kelley a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Kelley has worked on the front lines as an LPN in a nursing home and rehabilitation center throughout the duration of COVID-19. She balances her work with parenting and homeschooling her kids with humor and relentless dedication. She is an inspiration and deserves to be honored for the amazing work she does every day.

Lauren Sherlock :: Nurse Practitioner

About Lauren:

Lauren is a role model to us all. She is an amazing mom to two wonderful kids, ages 10 and 7. She serves on the school committee, volunteers at town events, and is a trustworthy friend, dedicated nurse practitioner, and all-around awesome human. She works at Mass General Hospital and has remained on the front lines during this pandemic, giving her best to her patients and her family.

Why is Lauren a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Lauren is a steady force of positive energy in people’s lives. She balances her frustrations in a healthy way by keeping it real, but she also makes sure you know she’s got your back. During this health crisis, she has been outstanding. Through her job at MGH, she has been able to provide care and support to many people’s loved ones, and she has shared her medical knowledge and understanding of this crisis with many parents in her town.

Amy Simcox :: Licensed Practical Nurse

About Amy:

Amy is an LPN at the VA in Bedford. Her floor was turned into the COVID floor. Not only was her job caring for our country’s heroes respectable to begin with, but now she’s helping them through this awful illness. Amy is a light in anyone’s life who knows her, including her veterans. She takes extreme pride in what she does and makes the world a better place.

Why is Amy a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

These veterans once fought on the front lines for us, and now Amy is fighting for them. She works so hard at what she does and will do anything to keep the spirits up at the VA, including singing and dancing. Once off the clock, she goes home to her two young daughters, Jocelyn and Maggie. Her job doesn’t end when she walks out of the VA. She makes sure she is still teaching her daughters daily! 

Wendi Smith :: Respiratory Therapist

About Wendi:

Wendi recently began her career as a respiratory therapist at Massachusetts General Hospital. She is a wife and a mother of two beautiful girls.

Why is Wendi a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Wendi is literally on the front lines of this pandemic delivering the breath of life to patients suffering with COVID-19. She works tirelessly with some of the most critical patients. Wendi’s husband Shawn suffers with scleroderma, has had a double lung transplant, and is currently on dialysis. To protect Shawn, Wendi has been living apart from her family in Airbnbs and hotels for over two months.

Lisa Szabo :: Nurse

About Lisa:

Lisa is the most loving mother, friend, and nurse. She works so hard and comes home exhausted but still keeps on going to make sure her three young kids are having quality time with her. If you ever need anything, Lisa will be there!

Why is Lisa a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Lisa is an amazing role model for her children. Her dedication to her patients and her work ethic are qualities to admire! She puts other people’s needs before her own and is an inspiration!

Reneè Ward :: Clinical Nurse ll

About Reneè:

Renee was recently promoted at Beth Israel and is seen as a go-to clinical nurse for guiding care for cardiac patients. In her position, she learns the latest COVID updates and ensures that patients and nurses are protected. She has done amazing work as a nurse for 20 years, and anyone would be lucky to be under her care. 

Why is Reneè a Super Mom on the Front Lines?

Reneè is simply the best. She is a loving mom to four kids, ages 5 to 15. She is a dedicated professional, heading to work many days during the week while her husband stays home to take care of their children. When Renee is home, she loves to gather for family meals. She is an amazing mom, always making sure that her kids are on top of their school work and ensuring that they have the chance to connect with family and friends over Zoom and via the phone. 

The nominees listed above gave express consent to be featured. If you nominated an awesome mom and don’t see her information listed, it’s likely she missed our email requesting confirmation of her consent.

Boston Moms is thankful for ALL moms who are working hard on the front lines and at home!

I’m at a Loss… But I Have Hope :: A Response to Quarantine and COVID-19

Photo courtesy Kin & Kid Photography.

I had a baby on January 27. It was my fifth baby in seven years. It jarred my world so quickly, presenting my family with its biggest adjustment up to that point. But today, the fact that I’ve given birth to another human being so recently has been lost in the bigger challenges of the world.

Just a month ago, my newborn turned six weeks. That Monday (I think it was the full moon, daylight savings, and Friday the 13th week), I was cleared from my doctor to resume normal life. On Tuesday, my baby came out of her Pavlik harness for hip dysplasia, and my four other kids were finishing their last week of school before March break. I was just starting to think about exercising again. My husband and I were wrapping our heads around how to manage the challenges of a newborn, an intense sensory-seeking toddler, two feisty and sassy preschoolers, and a first-grader who is too intelligent for his own good. I was also beginning to toy with the idea of officially launching my freelance writing business as a side gig.

And then… by Wednesday of that same week, things started getting strange. Events started to cancel, activities had fewer attendees, and by Friday our family was in day 1 of quarantine. 

Six weeks later, I am still asking myself what in the world just happened? While I obviously know what is going on, it is all so surreal. How is there no school? How was something like this able to happen? How were we so unprepared? Were we all really too busy and over consumed to miss this? When can I get a break? I feel like we jumped worlds overnight with our eyes wide open. 

Before COVID-19, I had all sorts of ideas for blogging. “A Large Family with a Newborn.” “Gearing up for Pool Weather.” “Large Family Parenting Hacks.” Some may still be relevant sometime down the road, but right now they fall just a bit short of reality.

After COVID-19, I searched for topics to provide guidance, hope, support, understanding, or clarity to my fellow moms, but in reality, I have none of that to offer, except maybe hope. I am at a loss. I have no idea why this is happening, how it will unfold, and what next fall will look like. I don’t know what to do with kids all day or how to crisis-school them without an epic meltdown.

I’m exhausted. I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Half the time, I can barely process what is going on because the newborn needs to be fed every few hours and the rest of my kids crawl into bed with us throughout the night, desperate for cuddles and security.

We try every day, and when it fails, we try again. What I do know, though, is that my general optimism and positive outlook on life will somehow help us to find the hidden gem in all of this.

Just before the world turned upside down and flipped inside out, we had a plan. We knew the direction our family was going. My husband and I had had many discussions about what lies ahead for us in regards to careers, schooling, and family values. We stressed over bills and tuition, social and family pressures, and parenting and personal values. We had made hard decisions.

Now it is all back on the table again. But this time it’s different. This time, there is time. Time to think, to talk, to think some more and talk some more. There is time to reevaluate and wonder what will be the same and what will be different. We can address our vulnerabilities, now that they are exposed. We can ponder the why. We can think about the how. We have time to grieve what was and now no longer is. We have time to let go.

Photo courtesy Kin & Kid Photography.

What I do feel right now is a sense of opportunity. A chance to really do some things differently and more in line with our values, hopes, and dreams. The time we have right now lends itself to really thinking hard about what matters most. I’m not interested in holding on to what no longer serves me or my family in hopes that it will come back the way it was.

Instead, I want to let it go and find a new path forward with all the stuff that matters most and none of the stuff that never mattered. I don’t know why this all happened, and it breaks my heart to see so many lives taken from us, turned upside down, and forever changed. But I want to believe we can become better, to be better. To let go of what was consuming us, tearing us away from what deep down we really wanted for our lives and our world, and stirring up inside each one of us the necessary motivation and strength to see it into reality. Maybe this will last as long as it takes for us to be ready. But for this big of a thing to take place, the reason and outcome must be just as big and important. And that gives me hope.

Got “Mom Back”? Can’t Sleep? Try This.

back pain acupressure mat - Boston Moms

My journey with back pain started many years ago. I have terrible posture, I clench my jaw, and I carry all my stress in my back and shoulders. But after having kids, oh man, did it get worse. Nine years of pregnancies, nursing, holding babies, wrangling toddlers, bending over car seats, and endlessly picking items off the floor have taken their toll.

I have now labeled this constant back pain “mom back.”

For years I have been told to go to physical therapy or get massages to help, but I honestly do not have the time to commit to therapy and/or the budget to get a weekly massage. As a stay-at-home mom, it can be difficult to coordinate the childcare required for physical therapy, just like most working moms cannot take the day off for these appointments.

I figured I would just have to wait until my kids got older and the physical demand they put on me got better before I was going to seriously fix my back. But then I started having a really hard time falling asleep. My back was so rock hard and tensed up that I could not relax my back muscles, and I would toss and turn for hours in frustration.  

While getting my yearly birthday massage, my massage therapist told me that my upper back was one of the worst backs she had massaged in her career. I confided in her that I was not sleeping well and was taking daily ibuprofen to get through most days. In desperation I asked her what I could do to improve things, knowing that my mom duties would continue to affect my back. She suggested an acupressure mat. I could buy it on Amazon, and it was a very safe, effective, and low-cost item that could really help. 

I went home that day and bought one. When it arrived a few days later, I will admit it scared me. It is basically a foam mat with spikes that you lay on. Yes, I lie on a bed of spikes!

But the result was amazing for me and for my sleep.  

It took me about a week to adjust to the mat. At first, I was like, “No way I am lying on these spikes every night!” I committed to trying it for two weeks to see if I could get used to it. And I did!

At first I only laid on the mat for five minutes, and with a shirt on. However, I now lay on it up to 20 minutes and shirtless. I have even dozed off while lying on it, and my husband had to nudge me to get off my mat and go to bed.

This simple tool has been a game changer. After doing a little research, I discovered there are many uses and benefits to using an acupressure mat beyond back pain and insomnia. I am addicted to it in the best way. I look forward to lying on my mat and meditating or unwinding from a busy day. I also now stand on my mat (with socks on) to fold laundry. Even my husband now uses an acupressure mat. I understand that this mat will not solve all my underlying back issues, but I can honestly say it is helping.

Bottom line, an acupressure mat is an inexpensive, convenient, realistic, and safe solution for me. Give it a try.

The Toy That Broke The Camel’s Back :: Tips for Toy Rotation

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the number of toys in your home? Or that no matter how many new and fun toys you get, your children seem to tire of them quickly and claim they’re bored? Now that we’re home more than ever due to COVID-19, it’s tempting to bring out every toy, craft, and game we own in the hopes that it will keep our kids entertained. But the thing is, too many toys can actually lead to boredom and overwhelm for our children.

Luckily the solution is simple: less stuff.

Fewer choices create less confusion and longer creative play. By using an easy toy rotation you can create a calmer, more inviting play area for your children while also saving money on toys and your home from total toy disaster.

What is toy rotation?

Instead of having every toy you own accessible — even if sensibly organized into bins — you divide your toys into smaller groups, only allowing for a portion of toys to be out in your living space, available for play, at one time. The rest of the toys are placed away into storage (a closet, a basement, an attic). It’s ideal to keep toys in clear bins so you can easily see what is inside, but I tend to use whatever we have available: bins, baskets, and trays. I typically switch our toys out once per month, after my children are in bed, allowing me to select toys without any fuss. 

toy storage

Why rotate toys?

Simplifying the toys available for our children to play with does two great things: 1) eliminates clutter and mess in our homes and 2) helps children develop more creativity and longevity with the toys available. Just as we parents can feel daunted and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of toys out in our homes, our children can also feel overwhelmed by the selection, jumping from one toy to the next (thus creating less focus and, inevitably, a mess). Have you noticed that baskets are dumped out in search of one little toy? It happens here, too, and that’s when I know we have too many toys out and it’s time to rotate.

toy rotation - Boston Moms
Time for a toy rotation!

When there are fewer toys available children are able to scan and understand their options for play. From there, they are able to become more creative and imaginative with what’s available. For example, the blocks that might otherwise seem boring when next to a plethora of toys in a toy box might now look like a tower one day, or a farm the next day. 

When toys are rotated children are able to play with intention and excitement. Suddenly, the toys they’ve owned for ages will seem like an exciting new toy, instead of an easily ignored playroom staple.

How to rotate

There are no rules and specifications when it comes to rotating toys. Take what you have, and go from there. Gather all your toys into one room and evaluate: Toss anything broken, with missing pieces, or that drives you crazy. From there, choose a handful of toys that are an appropriate mix of building, games, puzzles, vehicles, and family-based (such as dolls, figures, animals, etc). Place everything else into storage — out of sight, out of mind is best for both parents and children. How To Rotate Toys

I would suggest starting with fewer toys than you’re comfortable with. It may seem strange to have so few toys out, but I promise you, within days there will be toys you didn’t even know existed popping up out of nowhere. And besides, what’s the worst-case scenario? You can always bring out more toys if you really need them.

If you have older children, it may be worth explaining the change. My son is 4, and we have been doing this loosely for about two years. He is aware that some of his toys are put away, and when he’s ready we can do “an exchange.” Creating this awareness is positive — it creates regulation and expectations in our children.

If they come to you looking for a specific toy, you can either go get the toy (and see if they really were intent on using it or just wanted to have it out) or explain to them that the toy is put away for now, but he can get it out next time you do an “exchange” (what we call it in our house). Usually, simply explaining that the toy will come out soon is enough for my son. We can then work together to get him set up with a toy that’s already out. But if he seems truly interested in exchanging his train tracks for Magnatiles, I honor that and get him set up. 

When to rotate

I rotate about once a month, but it’s not set in stone. I look for when my children are no longer playing with the toys I have out or are beginning to spread the toys out and create a mess with them instead. When the room begins to look crazy and overtaken by toys, I realize it’s time. I try to rotate all the toys for new ones, but, again, it’s a fluid process. If they’re still playing with an item, keep it and switch everything else. Once you’ve traded out the used toys for “new” you’ll have a refreshed play space and your children will gain new ideas for play, keeping them entertained and occupied.

toy rotation - Boston Moms
After a toy rotation.

To the Mama with a New Baby… We’re Still Here

Becoming a new mom is hard on any given day. But to the mama who has delivered a brand new baby during the time of coronavirus, I’m thinking about you a lot lately. 

When you found out you were pregnant last year, “worldwide pandemic” was listed nowhere on your birth plan. You daydreamed about your baby’s arrival, introducing your baby to your family, having visitors. Those dreams have been disappointed. You are obviously so thankful for a healthy bundle that is bringing you and your partner so much joy, but this time is just not what you pictured. 

While the rest of the world is focused on the coronavirus, you are consumed with learning how to be a new mom.

You are likely realizing that despite all the prep work you did to get ready for this baby, nothing could have fully prepared you. Having a new baby is exhausting, it is lonely, it is overwhelming. You are being introduced to sleep deprivation like you’ve never known. You are learning that the seemingly easy task of breastfeeding, which has been performed by women for centuries, is, in fact, anything but easy — it’s really hard! You are learning that there is no break from your baby right now, because this tiny human is totally dependent on you for exactly 100% of its survival needs.  

You are told to enjoy these days because they will be over too fast, but that is nearly impossible to believe during your baby’s third nighttime feeding at 3 a.m. Part of you wishes these days to be over. You long for sleep. You need helpers. This is the longest month of your life. 

Deep breath. We’re still here for you.

If you think your family and friends were excited to meet your new addition via Zoom, just wait until they can snuggle, smell, and experience your baby in person. Just wait until they can love on you in person. Just wait until your best friend can clean your kitchen while you have adult conversations. Just wait until your parents hold their grandbaby for an hour so you can shower and nap. Better days are coming. 

One of the biggest surprise gifts motherhood gave me was the outreach of other moms. We take care of our own, because we know just how challenging this journey is. 

Don’t be afraid to reach out to another mom who has been there. Don’t be embarrassed to tell the truth about your experiences. Don’t look at another mom’s pictures on social media and for a minute think that other moms aren’t struggling just like you. Be honest about any trauma, depression, or anxiety you may be facing in this major life transition. You are normal, and you are not alone.

To the family and friends of the mama who just had a baby — let her know you are there!

Leave meals on her front steps, along with a thermos of coffee, laundry detergent, hand sanitizer, hand soap, toilet paper, diapers, wipes… all the things every new mom needs and deserves easy access to. Write her encouraging notes, bring her flowers from your garden, tie balloons to her mailbox, start a game of Words With Friends she can play to help keep her awake during middle-of-the-night feedings. Surround her with love and support, even from a distance. 

Ok, mama, now that you know we’re still here, go indulge in all the new baby joys we wish we could re-live: the coos, the big yawns, the fingers that wrap around yours, the squishy face, the warm cuddles, the smiles, and all the things that make your baby the most amazing baby in the world. We can’t wait to see you and meet this new life you created soon. 

Social Distancing Makes It the Perfect Time To…

A lot of us have thought this time of social distancing feels a lot like “Groundhog Day,” where we’re stuck repeating the same day every day. With all our activities canceled and my enthusiasm for internet meetings waning, I need something new. Maybe you do, too? If so, here are some ideas to break out of the rut:

Try out a new look

Since no one will see you, this might be the perfect time to experiment with your style. Grow out your bangs. Let your eyebrows fill in from overplucking. Wear some new outfits in which you don’t yet feel confident. Have your husband grow a beard and see if it sticks!

Teach a new skill — or learn one yourself

I’ve seen a lot of moms with young kids say they’re going to potty train during this time. I’m thinking of teaching my 4-year-old to ride a bike with no training wheels. A friend is teaching her kids to sew. Maybe you want to learn to knit, or cook, or draw? Ask a friend — or the internet — to teach you!

Find a hobby

My coworker bought a bird feeder and a bird identification book. I’m making a sourdough starter with another group of coworkers. My neighbor chose different plants in her yard and is taking photos of them every day for a month to see how they change. Start a book club. Take up hiking, or walking, or a new exercise routine. When it comes to picking up a new hobby, the options are endless!

Take on a big project

Is there something big you’ve been wanting to do but have never had the time? That time is now! Plant a garden, and start some seeds with your kids in your house. Take on a time-intensive cooking project with multiple steps. I’m planning to do rainbow challah with my kids. Build something, if you have the know-how. One of my neighbors built some sort of cross-fit setup to be able to do pull-ups. Got a business idea that you think would take off? Make that business plan!

Quaran-cleaning

I’ve found that it helps my mental state if things around me are in order, so we’ve taken on several cleaning projects at my house. Closets and bookshelves are getting purged, with things that are too small for an older sister being given to a younger sister. Baby clothes are being stored for donation at a later date. Our playroom is undergoing a massive reorganization (and another purge). Windows are being cleaned. The house is being power washed. The wonderful thing (or not) about this is that there is ALWAYS more cleaning to be done!

How have you been spending your time in social isolation? Share your ideas with us!

 

During a Pandemic, Can We Maybe Not Mom Shame? Thanks

mom shaming pandemic coronavirus - Boston Moms

Recently, my son and I were out on a neighborhood walk when a car stopped slightly past us. Its driver rolled down the window and yelled out, “Go home!”

I was so taken aback — mostly because I wasn’t doing anything wrong. The CDC guidelines have stated that going outdoors for walks is fine as long as you are practicing social distancing, which is exactly what I was doing.

I’ve shaken off far worse mom shaming before, so why was I so hung up on this?

Because I’m doing the best I can right now.

COVID-19 has affected everyone in some capacity. We are dealing with unprecedented and uncharted territory. News on the virus changes hourly; it can be exhausting and overwhelming watching what is happening and following the recommended CDC guidelines of how to keep yourself healthy and prevent the disease from spreading.

Many parents have found themselves working from home and homeschooling their children simultaneously; others have been forced to file for unemployment due to stay-at-home orders affecting certain industries. It’s a very stressful and scary time. It has impacted everyone’s life in some way, shape, or form. Because of that, we should be far more understanding of each other.

My son’s daycare has been closed for a month now. I have also been working from home for the same period of time. And my fiancé is still going into work. Which means I am working from home full time while also taking care of an 18-month-old for a majority of the day.

It’s hard. Very hard. There are a lot of days where I feel absolutely defeated because I didn’t cross off enough tasks on my work to-do list or I did not provide my child with enough stimulation or attention. I feel guilty that I keep the TV on, sometimes for hours at a time, because that is the only way I can answer emails or get through a conference call in relative peace. I miss our old routines and the normalcy we once had, but I’m trying my hardest to make the best of it for all of us. I often feel like I’m on a tightrope, teetering on each side and praying I just don’t fall.

In a time of uncertainty, one thing I have relied on is getting outside to get some fresh air whenever we can. My son loves being outdoors, and while we can’t go to the playground, walking around some of the fields in the local parks or just pushing him in his stroller around our neighborhood does us both a world of good.

So when I was publicly shamed for taking a safe and socially distanced walk? It got to me. This is a scary time, but I can’t not live life to some degree. It’s impossible to sit inside all day with an 18-month-old and stay sane — any parent knows that.

So next time you see a mom out and about with her children, either getting some fresh air and exercise, going for a drive, or grocery shopping, how about giving her an encouraging smile. At the very least, spare her your commentary and mom shaming. Because we’re all going through it right now; try to remember that.

6 Self-Care and Immunity Boosters for Families

immunity boosters - Boston Moms

I can say unequivocally that this is one of the more challenging times for families. With homeschooling, social distancing, and the uncertainty of when this new normal will abate and we can reconnect, travel, or even go to the grocery store without fear, it can feel inexorable.

But there are many things we can do, right now, to ensure that once we do have a reprieve from the coronavirus, we’re setting ourselves up to be stronger and more resilient as a world, as a country, and even right here in Boston. After all, we can do hard things. We’re #bostonstrong.

Here are some things you can do as a family and individually to boost your immune systems, calm your alarmed nervous systems, and focus on self-care, creativity, vitality, and love.

Be in nature together

Of course, be careful; read local guidelines for safe trails (not to mention to see which parks/trails are open and which are closed) stay six feet away from other people, and even consider wearing a mask and/or gloves. But please, get out into nature — it’s one of the best immunity boosters! New England is known for its spectacular trails. Explore, try new trails, and even if you have to get creative and resort to your neighborhood sidewalks or backyard for a “hike,” find a way to get some fresh air and sun and be around trees at least once per day.

Add immunity-boosting foods to your diet

While the TP and paper towel shelves are mostly empty, there are many immunity-boosting foods and beverages you can still easily get at the grocery store or online. (Always be sure to check with your physician if you have allergies or dietary concerns or if you’re uncertain whether the food is safe for children.) Here are some of my favorite foods to strengthen immunity: citrus fruits, broccoli, garlic, ginger, almonds, kiwi, sunflower seeds, and green tea.

Try family yoga and meditating

One of the most incredible things I’ve seen through this crisis is the ability for so many businesses and services to adjust and bring things online. My savior has been online yoga. HYP Yoga and Pilates (locations in Needham and Wellesley) has moved all its classes online, and it’s been glorious. They have kids classes as well. Peloton is another option. They have an online app that normally costs $12 per month — right now they’re offering three months for free. They have their regular cycle classes but now also offer meditation, yoga, boot camps, and more. The local JCC is offering classes, guided meditations, and more.

One key to immunity strength is calming the nervous system to remove chronic stress hormones from wreaking havoc on your body. Meditation and yoga are a great place to start to learn grounding techniques that beef up your prefrontal cortex and allow stress hormones like excess cortisol and adrenaline to get excreted from your body.

Use the Mood Meter app

The Mood Meter app helps you identify, regulate, and differentiate emotions. You will learn strategies and tools to respond to your emotions rather than get swept up in them. Over time, this, too, will boost your immunity.

Stay hydrated

According to this CNN article, hydration is one of the immunity boosters that might be more important right now than ever. Even minor dehydration can be a stressor to the body and cause it to work extra hard to release toxins and other things our body absorbs in our foods and in our environment.

Optimize sleep 

I know you’re all struggling with sleep right now. I’m up at least twice a night myself, either with a bad dream or worries or with a child waking me for the same. I get it. But there are things we can do to optimize our sleep to give us the best fighting chance. Here are a few of the ways I coach my clients to support better sleep hygiene through ritual.

  • Write in a worry journal before bed. Get it all out on paper to worry about the next day.
  • Put lavender oil on your pillow.
  • Take an epsom salt bath.
  • Stretch or do yoga before bed.
  • Get calm.com and listen to sleep stories (my kids love this).
  • Do a nightly body scan to determine where your body is feeling stress, and use breathwork to work through it.

Good luck, everyone. Stay safe. Take your probiotics. Check in on your neighbors and communities. We’ll get through this. We may become more world-weary, we may obsess over hand sanitizer and outlaw hand shaking, but we will also emerge stronger, more aware, and hopefully more loving and nurturing as a society.

Isolation and Autism :: A Brutal Combination

autism awareness month - Boston Moms

We are nearing the end of Autism Awareness Month, but we’re not quite at the end of this difficult period of isolation. It has been a very challenging time in my home, and I am sure almost everyone else is struggling too.

My husband is a pharmacist — an essential worker who still needs to leave our home daily to go to work. This means I am left home with three kids each Monday through Friday. My eldest son is 8 years old and on the autism spectrum. In some ways, he is the easiest kid to deal with out of my three. He loves his iPad and Nintendo and can get lost in a screen for hours. It sounds horrible to say, but I am really grateful for his iPad. It has served as a stable thing in his life when everything else is chaotic. It has given me a much-needed break, or, more often, the freedom to break up the constant fighting between kids number 2 and 3.

But the losses from the isolation we’re experiencing have been a huge problem for my son. He has refused to do any schoolwork at home. I think, in his mind, it is all black and white. Schoolwork is done at school, so why would or should he do any type of academic work at home?

I was able to pick up a computer from his school — one that he is more familiar with — hoping it may help him be more receptive to doing his schoolwork at home. I showed him his school computer, and he flipped out that it was in our house. So I am telling myself we’ll go slow and steady.

After a couple of days with the school computer I got him to play some of his favorite games he plays at school. This felt like a step in the right direction. He has also done a few Google Hangouts with both his special needs educator and with his homeroom class. This has had a mixed outcome. He was so excited to first see his classmates pop up on his screen, but he grew frustrated when it got so noisy with 25 children participating.

His biggest challenge is communication, and he especially struggles with his peer group. This isolation means he cannot work on the social skills he is already struggling with. As great as a Google Hangout is, he needs the in-person work to learn to read other people’s expressions and body language. The services he receives at school are vital to him and to us.  

We are taking it one day at a time. We are blessed with very patient and understanding teachers, speech pathologists, physical therapists, and occupational therapists who are telling me not to worry about it. But I am very worried about my son regressing during this time. Not just with academics but with the social component of school. I physically and emotionally cannot be his mother, teacher, speech therapist, PT, and OT. I cannot force him to do his schoolwork while wrangling two other children. I am not in a situation where I can do what I want to do or what I need to do.

I am trying to be kind to myself and not have mom guilt over thinking I could do better. This is such an extreme situation, and there is no clear path about how each family should approach it. However, I would be lying if I did not admit a twinge of envy when I see on social media the family that took a nice walk or the mom who has cleaned and purged the playroom. I am struggling to get through each hour, staring at the clock and waiting for the text that says my husband is on his way home.

Yes, we are in this together. I know everyone is at home, isolated, and worried. But knowing everyone else is also struggling does not make my struggle or yours any easier. It does not lift the burden and the overwhelm.  

I was recently asked, “When your children are adults, what do you want them to remember most about this time in their life?” I couldn’t answer. My mind went blank. The truth is, there is so much I hope they don’t remember. And, fortunately, they probably won’t. All the things I am stressing out about most likely won’t stick with them — and hopefully I won’t remember them either.

Things My Kids Have Done on Zoom

When work-from-home life began in March, the first thing my new 3- and 1-year-old co-workers were trained on was Zoom.

With everyone now working remotely — but everyone needing to see each other (partly because we crave social interaction, but mostly for accountability) — Zoom and other video conference calling have become THE primary means of communication for my job and for seemingly everyone else in the country.

My tiny co-workers got the basics down quick — I mean, they are digital natives, right? However, the art of Zoom etiquette is lost on them. In the last month, my sons have done the following while I have been on Zoom:

  • Jumped up on my lap and waved to everyone.
  • Decided to show off their hockey stick to the call, waving it in the background and nearly hitting me in the head.
  • Poured honey on the chair that I sit in for my Zoom meetings without my knowledge, causing me to settle in for a Zoom staff meeting I was already late for and realize that my pants were now covered in stickiness. And of course I wasn’t able to get up to take care of it until the meeting was over.
  • Broke a snow globe while I was on a call, causing glitter and water to cover the entire room.
  • Started singing, “Poop, poop, poop, poop, POOP,” while I was unmuted.
  • Tapped me on the shoulder and asked me where Blippi lives.
  • Yelled, “This is BORING,” while I was leading a call.

I love my children and cherish this extra time with them… but once I am able to return to work, I may never take a plain old meeting in a conference room for granted ever again.

 

Social Distancing :: This Isn’t Going Well… and That’s OK

social distancing moms - Boston Moms

I am not designed to be a stay-at-home mom. I don’t have the patience. I don’t have the energy. I don’t have the desire. 

I miss my job. I miss my students. I miss my lessons. (I don’t miss the grading.) I miss my normal, pre-COVID-19, regular, busy life.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being home with my girls and spending this extra time with them while they are growing up. I love hearing my little one grasp new words and my older one develop into a real person. I am sure that 10 years from now, when they are 14 and 11, I will think back to this day wistfully, when I was forced to stay home in order to avoid getting sick, and remember it with fondness rather than exhaustion and anxiety. I am grateful my family is healthy. I am lucky my family is healthy.

But this is hard for me. I work better when a schedule is imposed upon me by life’s obligations. I am not a schedule-setter by nature. I tried. That first Monday home, I turned on Amazon Prime and started our day with Cosmic Kids Yoga. Then we did some crafts, some letters, and some numbers. Then we ate lunch. And then I was exhausted and out of ideas, so I gave my oldest her tablet and put the little one down for a nap. And that was the first day. Each day since has been a free-for-all, somewhat-scheduled, mostly loosey-goosey, screen-time-reliant blur. I no longer know what day it is, nor do I truly care. Because in the end, does it really matter if it’s Monday or Thursday at this point?

To make matters worse, each time I open Facebook, I see Happy Hallie over here homeschooling her 15-month-old and limiting her 5-year-old’s screen time to 45 minutes per day. And I look over at my girls, happily watching “Elmo in Grouchland” for the third time today (by demand of the little one) and think, “At least they’re still alive, healthy, and not trying to rip each other’s hair out.” For now.

But this has taught me something. There is not one type of mom. There aren’t even 10 types. Or unicorn moms, or helicopter moms, or whatever fancy name type people want to use to label moms. There are just moms.

For some moms, this is the greatest, most wonderful time for them because they are home with their little ones and they are thriving at meeting their every educational, dietary, and social need. And then there are others who are scouring the internet for ideas for how to educate a reluctant 11-year-old. And then there are some who have completely given up, because even though they are home, they still have to work and they don’t have the ability to devote time to both their jobs and their child’s remote education.

And last, there’s everyone in between, just trying to get by. And regardless of who we are on any given day, we are all doing our best, and we are all OK.

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