Santa and child

As a child, I didn’t think much about who Santa was. I didn’t spend a lot of time considering how he might show up in others’ homes. But as my daughter barrels toward age 3 in January, I’ve realized we have to decide who Santa is going to be in our house — and soon.

In my house growing up, Santa brought all of our gifts — from the wrapped packages under the tree to the stockings stuffed with individually wrapped toys, gold coins, and other little items we needed. (There was one gift each year that came specifically from our dad.)

It wasn’t until I spent my first Christmas morning with my husband’s family that I even considered things could be different. At my in-laws’ house, Santa brings the stockings (and he has a strong bend for dental hygiene). Otherwise, Christmas gifts come from a variety of people (and places). Some gifts are from Santa, some are from different family members. That Christmas, the family lake house, the family dog, and even our condo in South Boston gave us some gifts! Each label displayed a cheeky joke, usually giving a hint to the gift itself or the intention of the gift.

Seeing this new way of giving gifts had me wondering if there are as many variations on Santa as there are families! So I asked around, polling friends to learn what Christmas gift giving looks like in their homes. In one friend’s house, Santa brings a few small gifts, but the big ones are from the parents. In another, Santa doesn’t exist at all, and Christmas gifts simply come from the parents. In other homes, Santa is more intentional, bringing specific gifts along a particular theme.

Santa is far more nuanced than I ever could have imagined. There is a lot to consider if you choose to introduce Santa into your children’s lives! While there is no right answer, there are some considerations with any approach or combination of approaches:

Omnipresent Santa

My childhood Christmas mornings were filled with magic and surprise, with enormous credit to my Santa (my mom). While gifts from Santa are one way to bring the magic of Christmas, there are undoubtedly other things my parents did to help build that magic (leaving cookies partially eaten, Christmas music, a special breakfast dish, etc.). As an adult looking back, I recognize what a privilege it was to have a jolly old man who travels the world in one night to bring all of our presents for Christmas morning.

Middle-of-the-road Santa

For my friend, to whom Santa brought a few small items, her parents wanted to make sure she or her siblings were never in a position to wonder why Santa didn’t “like” them as much as their peers. Meaning that if Santa brought them the big gifts, but those big gifts weren’t as big as what their friends received, it could lead to a comparison trap from an early age. I applaud the foresight of my friend’s parents and intentionality of making Christmas a both/and scenario, where gift giving can be magical and a lesson in gratitude.

Predictable Santa

In some families, there is a pattern in the gift giving, and this predictability has its benefits — consistency and constraints limit the amount of “stuff” a kid gets each Christmas. Especially with siblings, this method allows for equal gift giving with a clear rationale. For example, Santa brings everyone a book, an article of clothing, and an item to play with. Each gift can be tailored to a child’s interests and passions, but there is a level playing field — and sanity is better preserved for the parents.

I’m looking forward to figuring out who Santa is in our house and finding our family’s unique blend of whimsy, wonder, and gratitude that represents our values and celebrates the season!

Sarah Aspinwall
Sarah Aspinwall
Sarah grew up in Connecticut, but Massachusetts has always felt like a second home with extended family across the state. With a master's in public health and a lifelong passion for healthcare, Sarah moved to Boston after graduation. She is a fierce advocate for better access and reducing the complexities of the healthcare system. Sarah met her husband covered in sweat and lifting weights at a local CrossFit gym (talk about first impressions!). They adopted a rescue pup from Mississippi and welcomed their daughter in 2021. After nearly a decade of city living, Sarah and her family headed to the Metro West area to start a new adventure in the suburbs. Sarah has volunteered for Community Consulting Teams of Boston (CCT), offering pro bono management consulting to Boston-area nonprofits, and she served a three-year term on the board. She is an alumna member of the Kappa Delta sorority and has served as an advisor to the Northeastern chapter since 2014.

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR