Being a mom of five girls will definitely win me the puberty award at some point — it has to, right? We have now reached the training bra (junior bra) stage of our parenting adventure. Something I thought would be so easy is suddenly quite hard.

This is our first training bra adventure, and let me tell you, my oldest daughter just wasn’t ready to wear one. Reaching the tween stage already comes with its intense challenges and emotional highs and lows, and I did not want the introduction of a bra to add to the drama. My goal was not only to buy the right training bra for her but to make the transition smooth and allow her to continue to be comfortable in her body. 

We began first by talking about the transition into wearing bras and why we choose to use them. Admittedly, we also talked about the choice to not use them. I very much believe in body autonomy and want her to feel empowered about the choices she makes for herself.

The reality is, training/junior bras are not exactly meant for support but rather to conceal growth and changes in their breast tissue. Like most girls her age, my daughter’s body is beginning to change in many ways. Some changes, she’s not yet comfortable with. New curves are appearing, and the reality of puberty being around the corner is apparent. Sometimes these bras help conceal what girls may not be ready to acknowledge (or may not be ready for their peers to notice).

Choosing the right “first bra” is a whole other challenge. The options are endless, and some options we just did not understand. There’s lace, there’s padding, there’s sporty, there’s simple. There was no, “Hey, this is the perfect bra right here.”

So, how to choose the right bra for your daughter?

Look for something that makes her feel both comfortable and confident. Make sure it feels good and is not too tight. Check if she can comfortably raise her arms and not have to constantly adjust and readjust the straps or the band. Finding a bra that blends in and is not visible under her shirt can make a huge difference in her level of confidence.

Most importantly, keep the conversation open. Talk with her about how she feels in her bra and how she feels about the changes happening to her body.

She may have to try on a few to find the right one, and that’s OK! Remember, this is a transition for both mother and child. 

Female pronouns were used in this post, but this information applies to anyone who is ready to transition into a training/junior bra.

Nancy Sanchez
Nancy is a mom of five girls ages 10 to 1 and a zoo wrangler to two rescue pups, a black lab named Duke and a chihuahua named Pancho. She loves black coffee, hot weather, a bargain, and all things guacamole. Being a mom to five strong little women is no small task. Her bilingual home is filled with all the wonders and joys that chaos brings. On days where she finds a tiny bit of time to herself she writes at As a graduate of Bowdoin College, Nancy has gone from classroom teaching to focusing mainly on the nonprofit education sector. She has had the privilege of working with organizations like Summer Search and Posse, and she has served as a community organizer. Before motherhood, she lived in Los Angeles, Boston, and New York City. Currently, she is a stay-at-home mom to her five amazing girls and has been happily married to her best friend for the past 18 years (he’s clearly outnumbered). They are excited to raise their first-generation American daughters together while keeping them close to their Guatemalan roots. Nancy is thrilled to find herself contributing to Boston Moms, especially coming from a fear of writing. It’s a testament that it’s never too late to keep dreaming and growing!