Veto “How Was Your Day?” Better Questions to Ask Your Kids After School

As parents, we get asked a lot of questions. Somehow, kids can turn even saying “Mom” or “Dad” into a question. And yet, those same kids often struggle to answer our questions! You’ve tried it before with the classic after-school question: “How was your day at school?” And… nothing!

From my kindergartener to my teenage stepkids, we’ve come to expect one-word answers and a few blank stares when we ask how the day went. If we ask the right questions, though? Game changer!

At our son’s kindergarten orientation, his teacher gave some great advice about how to have better conversations with our kids when they get home from school. Elementary schools run on a very busy and structured schedule — and a lot happens between pickup and drop off! Posing thought-provoking questions to our kids can spark more memories in the child about things they experienced or felt during the school day. 

Here are a dozen examples of the types of questions we’ve started asking our kids after school — instead of, “How was your day?” 

1. My son’s schedule has a “focus” subject every day — at some schools they call them “specials” — so we’re able to ask, “What did you make in art?” or, “Did you learn a new song in music?”
2. Who did you sit with at lunch today? 
3. Did you read any books today? 
4. What was the question of the day? And what was your answer? 
5. What book did you pick out at the library? 
6. Did you play any new games at recess (or gym)?
7. What made you laugh today?
8. What was the best part of your day?
9. What was hard for you today?
10. Did anyone do anything nice for you today?
11. Was anyone in your class missing today?
12. What was the most interesting thing your teacher said today?