First, I need to let you all know I do not have Snapchat. I also do not have TikTok. I think I have a Twitter account, but I’m not really sure how to use it. I also have Instagram, but beyond posting pictures that are then shared to my Facebook, I have no concrete Instagram knowledge. So there it is. Facebook. Facebook is my jam.
Well, it used to be. Then it added stories. I don’t understand the stories. I don’t like that when I click on a person’s profile picture, it takes me to their story and not their picture.
And the irritation I feel leads to another feeling: I. Am. Old.
When did I stop learning new things? When did I become distrusting and antagonistic toward new social media platforms? Was it when AOL Instant Messenger ended? Was it MySpace? Was it those Vine videos? Was it in the early days of Snapchat? When it felt like its only purpose was for my high school students to share inappropriate pictures with each other with the false sense of security that it would disappear in minutes (only to be in a state of panic once the app notified them that a screenshot had been taken)? Am I even still thinking of the right app? Or have I confused it with another one?
My 5-year-old daughter understands Snapchat better than I do. OK, that may be hyperbole, but still, even though she calls it Snapchap, she is completely aware of the fun filters it has and begs me to download the app. My only saving grace is that Facebook and Instagram now have those filters, because honestly, mamas, with the inundation of technology this past year has brought, I don’t think I can handle another app on my phone.
My students often laugh at me as I stumble over the names of social media platforms and cling to Facebook. I envision myself with gray hair (true, for much of the pandemic), clutching my iPhone, my finger on the blue and white Facebook icon, vowing to never, ever move on to the next generation of social media. And every time Facebook changes its layout, I lose my mind for at least a week. But, eventually, I adjust and move on. So could I potentially learn a new social media platform?
The thing is, I know people my age — and older — use apps like Snapchat and TikTok. I know many of you reading this right now are thinking, “Geez, mama, it’s not that difficult. Give it a shot!” But I can’t. I won’t. I just cannot subject myself to another social media platform.
Maybe it’s because I already lose enough time in my day to the black holes that are Facebook and Instagram. Or maybe it truly is because I’m too old to learn something new. Or maybe I’m just waiting for whatever social media platform becomes the next big thing — like, in 10 years when my girls are old enough to start exploring and using it themselves. After all, it’s probably a good idea for me to save my energy until I truly need it — and if my girls are anything like me, I’ll want to be on the social media platform du jour to attempt to follow along with their high jinks.
So until then, you can catch me on Facebook (and sometimes Instagram), posting pictures, comments, and maybe the occasional story when I remember they exist and I actually have something interesting enough in my day to document.