A hundred and one orders placed in the last six months.
Every time I try, I fail. No matter what I do, I can’t quit Amazon.
And it’s not like I’m a novice at this: I quit Diet Coke AND alcohol. But Amazon is a whole different beast. Quitting just doesn’t seem possible. And every time I vow to shop elsewhere, these lyrics start playing in my head (sing along to the tune of “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do”).
Do do do.
Prime doobie doo down down.
Free two-day shipping doobie doo down down.
Great original content doobie doo down down.
Breaking up (with Amazon) is hard to do.
Don’t take your Dots away from me.
A Lightning Deal on my favorite tea.
Without Mrs. Maisel, oh what will I do?
‘Cause breaking up (with Amazon) is hard to do.
Remember when I ordered a weighted blanket to hold me tight?
And it arrived after just two nights.
Think of all the orders I’ve put through.
Breaking up (with Amazon) is hard to do.
They say that brick-and-mortar stores are just as great,
But now I need the perfect cake plate.
And when it comes to leaving my home,
Instead of going out I know that Amazon will send me some.
I need some diapers, in a size four.
Can you deliver them, right to my door?
Subscribe and Save on my TP too.
Breaking up <with Amazon> is hard to do.
No matter when, morning or night,
I can shop in my phone light.
Think of all the gadgets they sell,
Breaking up <with Amazon> is pure hell.
Free two-day shipping doobie doo down down.
Empty boxes everywhere doobie doo down down.
Great original content doobie doo down down.
Send help, please, down doobie doo down down.
