The Truth About Labor Pains :: Why Recovery After Childbirth Matters

I recently went to buy baby gifts for a dear friend who is due with her first baby. While I wistfully passed by rows of cute baby blankets, clothes, and toys, I restrained myself to get the good stuff instead — witch hazel, stool softener, nursing pads, mother’s tea, and “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.”

While checking out at the store, the kind pharmacist and I compared labor and recovery stories and did what is generally considered unthinkable: We talked about how awful it is to recover from childbirth.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I read as much as possible about the birthing process. Creating a birth plan was the highlight of every baby website and book I could get my hands on. I paid a nurse for a private birthing class. I read horror stories about epidurals and swore I would never get one (I did). I thought I had prepared myself as much as humanly possible to make it through labor.

And I did make it through labor! But what no one told me was that the recovery would be far worse than labor and much, much longer than labor itself. Labor is the “easy” part. The baby is going to come out one way or another. And at the end, you get a beautiful, wrinkly newborn who will melt your heart.

And your body will feel like it’s been destroyed. Recovery from childbirth will take weeks. I say, bring on the labor. It’s the post-labor that I dread. There are so many things I wish I had known about what happens after childbirth — here’s the wisdom I want to now pass on to others!

1. Take EVERYTHING offered at the hospital.

The hospital is a treasure trove for new mothers — swaddling blankets, diapers, granny underwear, and peri spray bottles. You know what happens if you leave all that loot in your room at the hospital? They throw it away. These are items that really come in handy those first few days at home, so make sure you save some room in your hospital bag to pack them up with you.

2. Take care of those lady parts!

Whether you have minimal tearing or an episiotomy, you are going to hurt. A lot. Have some ice packs to soothe your bottom. You will be sore, and as with any sore muscle, ice helps. Or try making your own “padsicles” to help the healing process along.

If you’re strapped for time and energy, get a perineal squeeze bottle and some witch hazel, mix equal parts witch hazel and water, and splash it on your perineum a few times a day until you start to feel better.

Invest in a stool softener for post-labor recovery. While I was waiting for a prenatal appointment, a very kind woman and I started talking about childbirth. She leaned over, whispered in my ear, “You should buy some stool softener for after birth.” My eyes widened. Stranger, thank you for this secretive tidbit. No one had ever, ever told me that having a bowel movement after labor would hurt so much. Buy the stool softener.

3. Rest as much as possible!

You need time to heal, and while it might feel impossible to rest, now is not the time to start exercising again or worry about whether your house is clean. It will take weeks for your body to recover from birth, and you need to give yourself as much time as possible to recuperate. Sleep helps.

4. Know that you will be a hormonal mess by day and by night.

I would gaze at my daughter’s angelic face and burst into tears. I had the most vivid nightmares ever. I sweat each night like crazy. No one ever told me this rush of hormones was part of recovery after childbirth. You will feel all sorts of emotions you never thought were possible, and it’s unsettling and overwhelming. But after about six weeks, everything should begin to normalize again.

5. Remember that breastfeeding is not always intuitive.

A lot of articles I read said that after about three weeks, breastfeeding would become natural and easy. For me, that just wasn’t true. It took me about three months to feel like I had a handle on breastfeeding, and that was after lactation hospital meetings, switching pediatricians, joining La Leche League, and crying on the phone multiple times to my midwives and LLL leaders.

While breastfeeding is natural, it certainly isn’t easy. Without the support system I created, I most certainly would have stopped — and I fully understand why a lot of women do. I always advise new mothers to seek out help (preferably for free) and to ask for a prescription for APNO cream, a compounded medication to soothe sore and bloody nipples. But, if nothing else, remember to find other mothers to help you through the process; it makes a huge difference.

6. Ask for help!

Your body went through a very traumatic experience. Now is not the time to be superwoman. Make a rule that no one is allowed to visit unless they have a meal or a broom in their hands. Pass off your beautiful offspring to visitors and excuse yourself to take a nap. Ask someone to do your laundry. Have a relative or friend stay with the baby so you can take a shower/bath or go for a walk. Order essential items online. Ask friends to create a meal train instead of purchasing gifts for the baby.

American culture has nonsensical, irrational, and unreasonable expectations of postpartum mothers. Don’t get swept up in that. Be kind to yourself, remember just how much recovery after childbirth matters, and advocate for your needs.

And if you find yourself experiencing any signs of postpartum depression, seek medical attention immediately. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s being a smart new mama.

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