Will An Adult-ier Adult Please Step Forward? :: Life As An Impostor Mom

impostor mom syndrome - Boston Moms

I am a mom.

Like, real life, five kids in nine years, 13 years straight of changing diapers, breastfed, bottle fed, and everything in between MOM

And I have a secret. 

I have no idea what I am doing. 

(Shh. Don’t tell my kids.)

When people ask for parenting opinions or advice, I assume they are seeking the advice of someone far more knowledgeable. A mythical creature who has their act together and holds otherworldly knowledge about all things parenting. 

It is always a shock when people believe this magical being is me. (Because — spoiler alert — it totally isn’t.)

Will an adult-ier adult please stand up and offer some sage advice? I don’t have the heart to tell these people I am a fraud.

Because seriously. I have no idea what I am doing.

My discipline style can be described as “woman flying by the seat of her pants.” My exemplary use of the ever-popular “I am going to count to three!” technique is a prime example.

  • One. (Darnit, none of them are moving.)
  • Two. (Holy cow, I hope that these kids take my tone of voice seriously, because I have zero idea what is going to happen once I reach three…)
  • Three. (Oh man, I should have thought this through… consequences, woman! Come up with some consequences!) 
  • Nobody is allowed to eat brussels sprouts for a week. (Huh? Seriously? THAT’S what you came up with? You aren’t very good at this. Who even likes brussels sprouts?! Eh, at least the bad behavior has stopped now that they are laughing. Hopefully these kids never figure out that you parent through humor due to unpreparedness. Also, it has been nearly a decade and a half. You should probably prepare at some point. Now, back away slowly before the kids eat each other. Or you. Or decide that they like brussels sprouts.)

Yep, I’m less “magical unicorn” and more “well-meaning rhinoceros.” 

I’ve stumbled my way through 14 years of parenting by winging it. I have parented each of my kids differently, through a process of trial and error. I have no plan, no winning advice. No secret parenting knowledge. I question myself on the daily and am suspicious that anyone who asks me for advice or calls me a “super mom” is just trying to boost my spirits because they can see through the facade.

I am an impostor mom, putting up a front that I have any clue what I am doing. At the end of each day, I crawl across the bedtime finish line and hope for the best. 

And I have a secret feeling that most moms feel the same way.

Some just have better lighting in their Instagram pictures than others. 

Deanna is a mom of five (yes, five) children, who lives in Brockton with her small circus of kids, her husband, their dog Penny, and a few cats. Her life is loud, energetic, mostly fun, often gross (did she mention four of those kids are boys?), and she wouldn't have it any other way. In between carting kids to school, baseball, gymnastics, guitar, dance, track and field and every other kid activity known to mankind, she works as a school bus driver for the city of Brockton, and is the Director of Religious Education at the Unity Church of North Easton, a Unitarian Universalist congregation. Deanna also holds degrees in Elementary Physical Education and Dance Education, which she plans to put back into use one day. At parties, Deanna can often be found hanging out with family pets. She follows her children around with a camera like the paparazzi, is pretty sure that 97% of her blood stream is made of coffee, and her laundry is never done. You can also find her blogging at https://eighteenmoreyearsofburpsandfarts.wordpress.com


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