Halloween is super fun when you have a baby, or even a small toddler. Why? They make a great costume accessory for you! Especially if you have a partner who is averse to couples costumes. My children, when tiny, have been the Mr. Nilsson to my Pippi and the pizza to my pizza ratAlas, those tiny creatures soon move from half of your fun costume to having all too many opinions on what they should wear. Last year my toddler begrudgingly went as his older brother’s costume accessory — the Robin to his Batman.

Of course I didn’t just drive to the nearest store and buy the costumes. I had to give my art degree some use and drive to the ends of the earth (by which I mean Saugus) to source items for this costume DIY project. My mother-in-law even crocheted the hat for my older son, only to have him sulk that his costume didn’t come with the fake muscles of the store-bought one. The toddler wouldn’t wear anything but the Robin shirt. I’m not sure we even got pants on him. 

This year I am not only NOT making the kids their costumes, I’m making sure they choose whatever it is they will be. My older son is easy — he wants to be Steve from Minecraft. Cool. Cardboard head procured, costume done. The little one, though? Not so easy. I can’t bring myself to spend money on yet another costume he won’t even put on.

I asked him several times what he’d like to be. This is his costume journey:

Me: G, what do you want to be for Halloween? 
G: No.
Me: You don’t want a costume? Or do you want to be the word “no”?
G: No.
Me:
G: The word.

At least we had a starting point. My instinct to make him a sandwich-board costume of bubble-lettered “NO” kicked in. But I had to squash it. A few days later, I went in again. 

Me: G, we can get a fun costume for Halloween. What do you want to dress up as?
G: A cookie
Me, to myself: Oh, thank God, pretty sure they have that one at Target. 
G: No, a donut.
Me: Wait, a cookie or a donut?
G: Watch daddy phone?
Me: Which costume?
G, lowering to the floor in toddler distress: WATCH DADDY PHONE!! [whispers] Cookie donut. [goes fetal]

OK, that was a lost opportunity. But, “daddy phone” does contain many YouTube videos of mind-numbing Halloween songs. Heh heh heh. After a day or two of video access, I tried again. 

Me: G, what costume do you want for Halloween?
G: A witch!
Me: So, like with a pointy hat?
G: No, with a monster truck.

I’ll take it.