We scheduled this night on the calendar months ago. We made a reservation. And we even took Uber to get to the restaurant because we knew after a few margaritas it would be the safest way home. But what did we do during our precious night out? We talked about them. Our kids. With a comment or two about our spouses thrown in.
Yep, that’s right. After planning a girls night out with friends for some much–needed time to catch up, we spent our night discussing bottles, diapers, sleeping, not sleeping, trips to the hospital, breastfeeding, birthdays, and when we are going to have more. What was once girls night out has become moms night out, and we cannot help it. We are moms and future moms.
Since our lives have changed so much, so have our nights out.
We don’t just grab a drink without planning. We don’t stay up late and sleep in the next morning. We don’t primp in the bathroom for 45 minutes. We arrive early. We don’t dance. And most importantly, we don’t forget our giant glass of water and Advil before bed.
So what do we do at girls night? We drink as many margaritas as we can — without feeling it the next day. We eat ALL the chips. We converse without any distractions (aka a cute guy at the bar). We complain. We reminisce a little. We plan. We split the bill equally. We order the SECOND round of chips, and the third round of margaritas. And we enjoy the time, stress-free.
Long gone are the impromptu movie nights or day trips or weekends away. But you know what?
I wouldn’t trade it (most days).
After graduating from college — before having kids, before meeting our spouses — my friends and I started monthly “family dinners.” This was our family in Southie — our family that wasn’t actually our family, but we spent so much time together we all felt like we were. These dinners were a fixture on each of our calendars, and there were usually eight or ten of us at dinner. These are the dinners that have evolved into our “moms nights” over the years. We don’t actually get together once a month like before, but we make it a point to have a night where it is just us a few times a year. (Other times, we include the children and spouses.)
It is so important to keep these relationships, and I look forward to our gatherings each time we can plan one (even if we are now planning our Christmas 2019 get together!). These times remind me of everything we have gone through — together. We each now own a home, drive nice(r) cars, have a spouse, are in a career, and are thriving at what this new life is. Even though we don’t all have kids, it is something we can talk about and plan for when we all DO have children. Each step of the way these friends have been there. The good, the bad, the ugly, the really ugly, and the most exciting. The past is the past, and the future is ahead of us.
And for this mom, these girls night dinners are highlighted, bolded, and in bright colors on the calendar.