Dear Firstborn,
Have you ever heard of a beta test? Well, it’s defined as a field test of the beta version of a product.
Yes, this term is usually referring to software or other products. But in many ways, you are a beta tester for your dad and me. You see, we had never been parents before you were born, so our parenting software was not actually finished or ready for release to the world.
Then you came, and we were shoved into testing all of our parenting abilities — or lack thereof. Whether your dad and I will ever be considered “ready for release” is another question, though!
So, I realized you deserve a proper thank you.
Thank you for your willingness to continuously stick it out even though you did not actually choose this role. We have been learning as we go, and you have thrown seemingly every possible challenge at us along the way, which often results in us showing our many areas for improvement!
As a beta tester, you have helped us become better people and better parents to you and your sister, every single day.
Here are some of the ways you’ve done that:
You have taught me to treasure every moment and keep things in perspective.
You have taught me to speak up for what we both need and to be a zealous advocate for our family; you gave me my voice.
You have taught me that there is always a reason to laugh and smile.
You have taught me how to be resilient and rebound from difficult situations.
You have taught me to move through and let go of anger.
You have taught me to slow down and not take the little things for granted.
You have taught me patience.
You have taught me to approach the world with curiosity.
You have taught me the importance of picking my battles, focusing on our family values.
You have taught me to put my phone down and live in the moment.
You have taught me about empathy and understanding toward others.
You have taught me about being spontaneous and flexible.
You have taught me to prioritize better and put family first.
You have taught me the importance of personal development and self-improvement.
You have taught me to trust my intuition.
You have taught me how to walk away from toxic relationships for the sake of our family.
You have taught me to appreciate my own mother’s work in raising me and to appreciate the hardships in the midst of the love and joyful moments.
You have taught me to let go of perfection — true beauty is in the messy, sticky moments!
You have taught me that our actions matter — and to apologize when we get things wrong.
You have taught me what it truly means to love unconditionally.
For all these lessons and countless more, I thank you, my beautiful boy. You have had no choice but to deal with your parents in their most inadequate, raw, vulnerable state.
You have also witnessed what it’s like to make two full-grown adults’ hearts grow in love and awe for the most miraculous experience of their lives.
I hope you will always feel loved.
You continue to change our lives for the better, and we cannot imagine life without you.
We are committed to being the best parents we can be to you and your sister, and we will never give up.
We promise to love you, as you are, every day we get to share this life with you.
