My spouse has depression. It’s well managed and currently not something we need to think about daily, but each year he struggles with seasonal depression — a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. Seasonal depression, or SAD, is sometimes known as “winter depression” because the symptoms are usually more apparent and more severe during the winter.

I didn’t know anything about seasonal depression until I attended college in a town where it was grey about 40% of the year. I lived in a single-room dorm where many of the other students were upperclassmen. A few of them brought bright sun lamps after winter break, which made great lights for dark rooms. One floor-mate noted that it was because it was hard to make it through the winter.

As a freshman, that felt abstract — a lot like people telling me about motherhood while I was pregnant. I was more or less there, but I wasn’t really in it. And they were right. Winter was hard. I craved crossing the Mason-Dixon line to see friends and family and sit in the sun. But as hard as that time was, I wasn’t depressed, and I enjoyed the season. 

When I married someone with depression, I felt inadequately prepared to support him. I didn’t grow up in a community that championed mental health. I knew few methods that help besides therapy. Thankfully, over the last few years I’ve learned that along with some personalized coping skills, there are a few general activities that can help lessen the blow that seasonal depression brings.

1. Let the light in.

You may have to get up 30-45 minutes earlier so that you catch more sunlight. You may need to get a plant so you have an excuse to open the curtains. One of my favorite sleep-in tricks is to get up, open the blinds throughout the house, and then hop back in bed and set my alarm for 15 more minutes. When it’s really time to get up, it’ll be harder to go back to bed. This tip got me out of bed at the end of my first maternity leave before I was ready to commit to my routine. 

2. Eat real food.

You may not feel up to cooking real food, but you need to eat good and nourishing things — particularly when you don’t feel your best. I live by the rule that you don’t have to make each part of the dish. If I make the chicken and rice, the veggies can come from a bag or can. Soups can be made within an hour with a stove top and a blender. Breakfast for dinner is usually easy and quick. Family participation is great if everyone is willing. But eating is the most important part.

3. Take on responsibility.

Make sure you’ve filled your calendar with things you need to do and things you want to do. You need a proper mix of both to feel accomplished and like the asset you are to your family. Evaluate your to-do list each day and keep it manageable. Start your list with waking up, and you’ll always have something to check off. 

Whether it’s you or your partner living with depression, I hope these few things help you come up with a plan to keep everyone mentally and physically healthy. I’m thankful I’ve gained a few skills to support us in the happy and hard seasons to come. 

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