ADHD diagnosis - Boston Moms Blog

I knew I was in trouble as soon as I felt my son’s first movements while he was growing warm and content inside me. The boy rarely stopped moving.

The only time he grew still was when I wanted his father to feel him kick. Which happened to give me a preview of how stubborn he is. That and the fact that I had to have three separate anatomy ultrasounds, including a special fetal echocardiogram, because he wouldn’t let the medical professionals see what they needed to see when they wanted to see it. (And of course his movements earlier in the day had mimicked those of a rhythmic gymnast going for the gold.)

But the true testament to my boy’s strong will and independent nature was his birth. Because of my gestational diabetes (and the estimated 10-pound size of my darling child), my OB/GYN decided to induce me at 39 weeks. I showed up to the hospital bright and early on a Tuesday, and I went home still pregnant on Thursday. After 48 hours of the wonderful doctors and nurses throwing everything they had at my uterus, and I went home empty-handed but still pregnant. Two cervical drugs, a cervical foley, HOURS of Pitocin, and a failed manual attempt to break my water did NOTHING. My son wanted no part of having anyone tell him he needed to come out. My water broke Friday at the OB/GYN’s office, thanks to an infection, so I was admitted and underwent a C-section Friday night to forcibly evict my son from his preferred dwelling.

Everyone joked about how my son was never going to do anything he didn’t want to. Everyone joked about how I was in for it. Everyone was right. 

When my son turned 3, my husband and I decided to remove him from his in-home daycare and put him in a more structured preschool daycare center. He needed a bigger group of kids (his own age or older) and some more rules. Fortunately, we found a wonderful place with amazing teachers that he absolutely loves. And it’s been a wonderful experience for him. But it has also definitely opened my eyes. While I have always been very honest about my son’s (at times) challenging behaviors, hearing it from his new teachers was a shock at first. 

At the first parent-teacher conference of the year, I looked at his progress report and saw most of the categories marked with “More Attention Needed.” None of this information was new, but to see it laid out on paper so boldly was hard to take. His teachers were so kind and had many positive things to say about my boy. But it was clear that in a lot of ways, he wasn’t where his peers were. I could barely ask questions as my brain worked to process it all. Yet it really wasn’t new information. And I’m a special education teacher.

I was much more prepared by the next conference in June. Fortunately, my son had made some progress, but in terms of the categories on the report, not too much seemed to have changed. His teachers reported times he had difficulty transitioning to new activities and games with peers, and outbursts of emotion over tiny things. They reminded my husband and I several times that “he’s just not a tabletop learning kind of kid.” I was sad, but I was determined to do what was best for my boy.

My husband and I always joked that an ADHD diagnosis was coming down the pike. After the conference, we decided to have a formal evaluation done for our son this fall, after he turns 4.

I’m not seeking medication or to turn my son into something or someone he isn’t. I’m not looking for him to get straight A’s as he gets older. I don’t care if he eventually gets a job where he sits at a desk all day. I just don’t want him to hate school or his teachers because things are so hard for him. 

My son is spirited and enthusiastic about almost all things right now. I would hate to see that die out because people are always correcting him or redirecting him. I don’t want him to lose his energy or strong will. But there’s a time and a place. And he thinks anytime and anywhere is the time and place. And I’ll own that it stresses me out more than I care to admit. But it would stress me out more to see him be sad and defeated in school all the time. I’m not 100% sure an official ADHD diagnosis will “fix” anything, but my boy deserves what it might.

 

Caitlin Hynes
Caitlin is Massachusetts townie, having moved only a half mile away from her childhood home in the suburbs after getting married. She met her husband Patrick during their freshman year of high school, though it was definitely not love at first sight (for either of them). The sparks flew four years later, after a couple other significant others and reconnecting after a year away at college. She has been married since fall of 2009 and became a mom to one tiny tornado of a boy in July 2014. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology with a minor in Education from Assumption College as well Master's degrees in School Counseling and Teaching Students with Severe Special Needs from Assumption and Fitchburg State. Despite solemnly swearing she'd never become a teacher, that's exactly what she did and currently works as a teacher for students with special needs ages 18-22, as well as advising her school's Best Buddies chapter. She comes from a loud, close-knit family and holds very strong opinions on ridiculous things, but tries to surround herself with people who appreciate her for it, or at least despite of it. Loves: Coffee, Diet Coke, random snuggles from her preschooler, Dairy Queen blizzards brought home for her by her husband. Hates: Inspirational Instagram pictures, traffic, folding laundry, random temper tantrums from her preschooler.

2 COMMENTS

  1. My so was diagnosed at three and has been placed on an IEP. We were able to see a pediatric neurologist. He too had to be taken out of an income based daycare and placed in a more structured environment. Now in kindergarten he’s thriving. There are times of excessive hyper ness but aside from that he is fine.

  2. What a great article. Would love to see an update in a year or so to see how he and mama are doing. There’s so many studies coming out now saying that kids who are as young as 3 are getting an ADHD diagnosis, but would not have received the same if tested a year later. They change and mature so much in a year.

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