Motherhood can be difficult and isolating. Befriending other moms can help. Below is a simple six-step guide to making mom friends.
Step 1: Acquire children
This can be done in a multitude of ways. They can be grown in your uterus, they can be grown in someone else’s uterus, and I have even heard rumors that they can be grown in a cabbage patch. As long as they view you as their mom, you’re golden.
- You will know they view you as their mom when they beg you for snacks four seconds after telling you they aren’t hungry for dinner. And when you are the one they come to when they need bubblegum removed from items such as socks or family pets.
Step 2: Find other moms
This is deceptively simple. Moms are creatures of habit and tend to gravitate toward certain environments.
- They swarm to places where children can be set free for short periods of time. In the warmer months, they are frequently found on playgrounds. In the winter months, they often migrate indoors to spaces such as mall play areas.
- They flock in droves to places where caffeine can be procured.
- As the children become older, they can be found hovering outside of schools during drop-off and pick-up times.
Step 3: Make your approach
It is best to approach slowly, as a sudden sprint often frightens the mom crowd away. Refrain from holding a child at arms-length in front of you as you begin your approach to potential mom friends, as this is the universal sign of “please change this diaper” and may cause a stampede.
Step 4: Establish a connection
Pointing out commonalities is often a productive starting point. Examples include:
- I too have small people who follow me around all day demanding juice and then immediately spilling it into the fish tank because the cup was the wrong color.
- I too have packed 73 changes of clothing, 39 diapers, five meals, and a rocking horse into my shoulder bag.
- I too wear clothing adorned with mashed carrot and spit-up designs.
- I too enjoy having my backside adorned with large Captain America stickers.
Step 5: Move in for the mom-friendship
Securing mom friends can be done in a multitude of ways.
- Suggest the playdate. If the small snack-demanders are interacting in a relatively cheerful way, suggest making it a common occurrence. Toddlers can’t drive themselves, thus, you’ve opened the way for mom interaction.
- Contrary to popular belief, mom friendships can be cultivated with or without the kids. If the children are verging on Hunger Games on the playground, it is perfectly acceptable to suggest coffee during school hours.
- Snag the social media handle. Don’t knock the Facebook or Instagram friend. You can be a great mom friend even if the majority of your friendship happens virtually. Remember, internet friends can commiserate about your family’s battle with a stomach bug while being unable to smell that you haven’t bathed in three days.
Step 6: Repeat as necessary. Urge newfound mom friends to do the same to create mom village.
Now that you have made a mom friend, don’t forget to water* her frequently.
*A mom friend can typically be watered with caffeinated drinks, supportive comments about her mothering skills, and the occasional compliment about how great her rear looks in her new jeans/leggings.