As a mom to a one-year old, I can say that I have had the most exhilarating, exciting, scary, and anxiety-provoking year of my life. EVER.
When I was pregnant, I knew I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and that my life would be forever changed. What I didn’t know was how the rug of self-assuredness would be pulled from underneath me. What I also didn’t know was that this same rug was being pulled from fellow moms (and dads) everywhere. The trick is that not all of them let it be known publicly.
We are constantly bombarded by the media and advertising who tell us that our homes can and should be spotless, our children smiling, and our babies snotless. All this while baking homemade cookies and sewing handmade Halloween costumes, which I know is supposed to be done, because I see it on Pinterest. Guess what? That stuff just isn’t real. At least not for me. My house is a mess. Our meals are healthy and good, but not gourmet. My slowcooker and I are good friends. I have cried many times over the past year. And you know what? I’m happy. My husband’s happy. My daughter’s happy. For me, that’s a win.
I read a quote, “don’t judge your insides based on everyone’s outsides”, and I think in parenting, especially, that is so true. Life is not what people are posting on Facebook. We see someone’s baby smiling beautifully in her profile picture, but what we don’t see are the 38 outtakes, some of which involved spit-up and poop. We read a post about homemade pasta- from scratch- but what we don’t hear is her 3 year old pitching a fit because Mom is too busy making dinner to play.
Most importantly, what we don’t see or hear is that everyone, regardless of their position, is unsure. And that uncertainty is what makes us feel scared, vulnerable, and insecure. I think, as parents, we need to come together and share that vulnerability. I remember the first time I opened my breast pump. I sat on the floor bawling because the whole thing just seemed so overwhelming.
Guess what? I made it through. And so can you.
