couple after buying first homeI never imagined myself as a homeowner. It’s a lot of work! Between the never-ending projects and unexpected expenses I heard about regularly from friends, I wasn’t sure this was the best move for our future. Eventually, my husband convinced me that we could and should begin the adventure of buying a house. In the process, I learned a number of interesting things about myself.

1. I still have some pretty limiting beliefs about myself.

Turns out, it wasn’t just the apprehension of new expenses and moving that made me want to stick to apartment living. In some way, I didn’t believe I had earned or deserved to buy a home. I was also already worried about losing the home we hadn’t even bought yet. These fears weren’t based in any kind of reality or truth; they were just excuses I was using to continue seeing myself in this way. The biggest problem with seeing myself in this way was that it wasn’t only limiting me, it was affecting my entire family. In realizing that, I knew I had to get over my concerns and jump into this next chapter wholeheartedly.

Once I did feel ready to buy a home, I didn’t think I had anything else to overcome. But, of course, life continues to offer lessons when we least expect it.

2. Conflict, even when necessary, makes me really uncomfortable.

There were a number of times during our home search and purchase where my husband would point out something that was done incorrectly. At one point, after discovering a major error, we decided to start over with a new realty team. There is being forgiving, and there’s being overly gracious. If it were up to me, we probably would have continued to work with the original team in some way because I liked the connection we had built. But in business, that’s not always helpful. As a doula, I help my clients advocate for themselves, but it turns out I have some work to do when it comes to speaking up for myself.

3. I really enjoy being able to make something my own.

As an entrepreneur, that may not be the most surprising thing. But I’m not a “fixer-upper” kind of person. We saw and loved a few homes that had been remodeled and were move-in-ready. However, I really wanted our family to be able to do some new things in and to the home — almost to the point of being unrealistic. One of the homes I loved needed the floors refinished. Another needed structural work. Thankfully, someone else won that house in negotiations, and we didn’t take on a massive project. We bought a much older home than I was expecting, but the amount of work required is manageable and we are excited to take it on.

Now that we’re ready to move in, I’m sure I will have many new discoveries about myself and things in this house! It’s a time of transition and change, and I’m ready to step into this new season.

Dashanna was born in Michigan and raised between there and Virginia. She moved to Massachusetts in 2011 after getting a bachelor’s degree in English and gender studies from the University of Pittsburgh. She married her favorite Massachusetts native (Tom) seven years ago. Together they have two sons, Lucas and Isaiah, born in 2018 and 2019. Becoming a parent ignited a passion for supporting others, and Dashanna became a doula before the birth of her second son. She is now the owner of Caring for Mamas, working with families all over Massachusetts and New Hampshire. She loves fresh-squeezed lemonade, good music, and helping and supporting families.