Happy new year! It’s the time for new beginnings, new hopes, and new dreams. It’s time to bring out the new calendar, new sneakers, and new Pinterest boards. It’s time for a New You. Or so I’m told.
Now, I’m not really one for resolutions — far too many of them focus on superficial changes, drastic results, and unrealistic expectations. And they are often setups for failures and disappointment.
This year, however, I’m going to dare to be different. I’m going to take on a mini-resolution. I’m going to try to make this the year of yes.
Last year I read Shonda Rhimes’ “Year of Yes,” and it totally spoke to me. In this book, Rhimes talks about how she realized how (relatively) miserable her life was because she was saying no far too often. Since then, I’ve been quietly vowing to incorporate more “yes” in my life. With 2019 in full swing, and this published post holding me accountable, it seemed like the perfect time for me to vow to say yes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to let everything fall apart and everyone run wild. I’m just going to have us all feel a little more free.
So for 2019, I’m going to:
Say yes to girls time.
Too often, “stuff” gets in the way. “Stuff” could be anything — needing to prep for the next day, feeling too tired, wanting to catch up on things around the house, or feeling guilty about leaving the kids (especially true if said girl time is while they are awake). This year, I’m saying yes to time with my girlfriends and honoring the friendships that don’t get enough attention — and honoring myself at the same time. I will enjoy those in-person interactions that often go to the wayside. I will show my friends and myself that we are all more than texts. I will feel guilty. And I will still do it. Maybe I’ll even initiate it!
Say yes to the cake.
Truth be told, I already say yes to the cake. Cake is delicious. I feel like I need to include this one, though, what with it being the new year and all. Despite what the diet and exercise industries want to tell you, everything is OK in moderation! And, the kids are watching.
Say yes to help.
I am horrible at asking for help. I am also horrible at accepting help. Even when my babies were born, I was horrible at accepting help. But I need help. We all need help. I am lucky enough to have people in my life who want to help. And I can’t do it alone. None of us can. This year, if a friend wants to watch my kids while I get a couple hours out with my husband, I will let her. If my husband wants to take the kids so I get a moment alone, I will let him. Heck, I might even let the Wegman’s guy help me take my groceries to the car!
Say yes to my daughter.
This one, I started early. At Thanksgiving, my daughter asked me to make an apple galette. I had never made pie dough and was pretty intimidated by the whole process. But in the name of good modeling and facing fear straight in the eye, I said yes. And we had a great time! This year, I vow to say yes to my daughter more. Barring anything completely outrageous or dangerous, I will do my best to clamp my lips before saying no. I will consider why my initial reaction is a no and whether there is a way to turn it into a yes. What barriers do I see? And are they real or in my head? And even if the answer is no, I will figure out how to deliver it with a yes.
Say yes to myself.
To an extent, I guess these are all about saying yes to myself. Yet this one feels different. So often, we moms are so focused on everyone else’s wants and needs that we forget about ourselves. This year, I will try to hear myself asking, and I will also try to say yes. I will say yes to trying a new craft, which terrifies and excites me at the same time. I will give myself time to journal, even if it’s been so long that it feels kind of awkward. I will finally say yes to that bubble bath and soak while listening to Ingrid Michaelson. I will say yes to my body when it needs a sick day.
How about you? What will you say YES to this year?
